(Closed) I believe thrown for a loop is the expression I'm looking for…

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
746 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Ugh, I totally feel like the guest list is the bane of every bride’s existence. I’ve also had guests invite a plus one for themselves that I didn’t give, and family members beg for dates for their 17 year old daughters (OH NO YOU DI’INT, AUNT LISA). 

I’m sorry that you’re dealing with that! Good luck…I guess all you can do is try to talk to your mom, or just hope that they don’t show up?

Post # 4
Member
940 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

All I can say is good luck. I won’t highjack your thread with my guest list stories so….good luck. lol

Post # 5
Member
13 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@littlegreenleaf:  

I get how you feel. My FMIL is trying to talk us into inviting a whole lot of people who we either hardly know or whom we haven’t spoken to in years. I have had to give in to her on some of them as she’s paying for much of the wedding but I’m not giving in on all of them. I do feel a tad bad about it though because she’s so sweet and has been so good to me over the years and I know the only reason she wants to invite all these extras is because she doesn’t want people to feel left out. Still it is my wedding, not hers. I suggest you speak to your mum about this in private. Tell her you don’t see the point in having guests at your wedding who you hardly know and you would appreciate it if she would consult you before adding to your guest list from now on.

Post # 7
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

I had something similar happen, and in the end it resolved itself. Here’s how it played out, if it’s useful for your situation:

My dad copied me on an email to one of his old fraternity buddies who lives in the state where FI and I live, and where we are getting married: “Dear X, yadda yadda, great to get back in touch with you … by the way, we’ll be in the area in a few months when one of my daughters will be getting married. We’d love for you to come, I want to see you again, it’ll be a great time, we’ll give you a good meal …” yadda yadda, etc., etc.

I didn’t reply directly to that email, so as not to embarrass my dad in front of his friend. I did talk to him privately afterward: “Dad, I’m really happy that you’re so excited about our wedding. We are too, and we’re looking forward to getting together and having a chance to reconnect with old friends. Please understand, though, that we already have a long list of people and we don’t know if we’ll be able to send an invitation to everyone. I’ve never met this person, and if we invite him – and his wife? Kids if he has them? – that it might mean that FI and I have to cut some of our own friends from the guest list. We are trying to be really careful to have a wedding we can reasonably afford, and you and Mom have been so generous by offering to help pay for the reception – we want to safeguard your budget as well as our own.”

Dad understood, and it was fine. And fortunately, he had misspelled the guys email address so the message never actually went through and we were off the hook. *sigh of relief* Maybe you can have a similar conversation with your mom, in private? Even if you have to absorb a couple of unplanned guests, you can at least prevent her from doing it again with the 15 members of  the Church Ladies’ Sewing Circle, or whatever.

Post # 9
Member
96 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

What is it about mothers and adding randI ripple onto guest lists!? Sorry you are going through this. I literally just got off the phone with my mom who is doing the same thing. She keeps adding people like her high school friends and people I don’t know or whom I haven’t seen in over 10 years. And then she holds te fact that they are paying for some of it over my head. Well guess what I’ll just elope then! 

Sorry for hijacking your post with a story, but it helps me to know I’m not the only one going through this. Hope it works out well for you!

Post # 10
Member
323 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

FFIL is doing this already and we have been engaged for eight days. Wedding is in ten months and with the rate he’s inviting people we’ll have 700 people there. MH is going to have to sit down and nip it in the bud soon because we’re travelling across the world for an intimate wedding and I don’t want it to end up being the same circus we would have had in Sydney. 

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