(Closed) I bought the ring myself, how do I tell him?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
4275 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Ummm. You sure he would be okay with that?

Post # 4
Member
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Clarification needed…

Is this an Engagement Ring for him… or for you ?

 

Post # 5
Member
1306 posts
Bumble bee

@oreo123:  oof, this is a tricky one.  Personally, I think this is a little rash on your part!!  If he doesn’t share the same sentiments as you, this may end up leading to heartache on your part!  What if he refuses to give it to you?  Oh my goodness…

Post # 6
Member
5273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Personally, I wouldn’t give it to him, instead I would just consider the ring a gift to myself.

Unless you want to propose to him!?

Post # 7
Member
1432 posts
Bumble bee

so you bought an engagement ring for yourself?  YIKES. If your that comfortable doing that I would have suggested just being blunt and telling him it was on sale. I don’t know your BF’s personality and all the previous convo’s you have had regarding getting married and ring’s so maybe this won’t come off as crazy to him but most men would see it that way. I hope it goes well though and he is happy for you to wear it.

Post # 9
Member
2589 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Keep it as a right hand ring, a gift for yourself, enjoy it and love it.

Do not give it to him as an engagement ring to give to you…I don’t know of any man who would take that well. 

Post # 10
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Wow. I’m not sure I’d give it to him. I feel like if you do, you’d be stealing his thunder. A guy puts a lot of time and effort (and a sense of pride) in purchasing that ring when he’s ready.

Could you wear it as a right hand ring? If not, I’d suggest returning it. 

Post # 11
Member
2693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Have a talk.  Fi let me pick out my own ring.  Some men could care less.  unless it really is important to you that he pick out, buy and then surprise you with a ring. 

If you guys have been talking seriously about getting married, then just let him know how you saw the ring you loved for a great and couldn’t pass it up.  Ask him where he wants to go from there. Does he want to ‘give’ it to you as an engagement ring or would he rather get one on his own.  If he is not terribly traditional, he won’t mind and yu get to have the ring you love.  Good luck. 

Post # 12
Member
2137 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

it all depends what kind of relationship you guys have, if youre very comfortable tell him you bought it, it was on sale and youd want it to be an ering. and take things from there. i picked my ering and then i upgraded all by myself and FI was fine with it.

Post # 13
Member
3626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’d return it and never tell him.

Post # 14
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@oreo123:  Other than “dropping hints,” have you two talked about marriage?

Post # 15
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Wow. I’m not sure I’d give it to him. I feel like if you do, you’d be stealing his thunder. A guy puts a lot of time and effort (and a sense of pride) in purchasing that ring when he’s ready.

It’s me again. I just wanted to point out that I completely picked out my engagement ring as well. From the mounting to the actual diamond. We spent a long time with our diamond consultant, then I walked away.  He went back to the store (when he was ready) and purchased it himself, had it sized, and then presented it to me when he was ready to do so. And he was SO excited to do so. 

If it’s something you think he’d be cool with, then you wouldn’t be here asking for our advice, so I’m assuming you may think he may not take it well. In which case, I’d err on the side of caution and not go there.  Just my $.02 though.

Post # 16
Member
3626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Ummm, WOW! I thought I was progressive for being there literally every step of the way and picking it out all by myself but I think this is the winner!

I think you have two options (maybe):

1) Like PP said, just use it as a right hand ring.

2) Get HIS friend’s help (and maybe a jewelry store’s help) to make it seem like he bought it (or actually make him buy it). This is tricky. The idea is that said friend will go with him to the jewelry store or whatever and it will be set up so that he can buy the ring there. You need a friend’s help to see when he is actually going to go in. If this is a mom-and-pop shop, maybe you can tell them what is going on and they can hold the ring for you (since it’s technically already paid for) and then refund you if he buys it. However, if he goes rogue and buys it elsewhere, that’s a problem. This is kind of a stretch.

My FI is pretty progressive and easygoing but I don’t even know if he would be thrilled that I pre-bought my own ring since this is supposed to be his gift to me (at least, in our relationship).

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