Weekend plans?
more by chaotic bliss
Wedding Favors Giveaway
Hello!  Newbie here!
more in Waiting
Sorry but I need to vent!!!!! GRRRRR!!!!!!
How long did it take you to feel normal after the wedding
more in Boards
I'm in tears - and so relieved!

I BROKE DOWN...HELPPPP!

posted 2 years ago in Waiting
  •  
    1.
    Member
    221 posts
    Helper bee
    chaotic bliss       Atlanta

    AND BROKE THE XMAS CHALLENGE! I am so sowry!  I tried and I was doing good but I couldn't help it so I sent him an email! I couldn't even talk about about it literally--I had to send an email asking him to let me know are his future plans with me. The funny part about this is, I was looking right at him while I was typing the email.

    Anyway, in the email I adressed the timing I will need to plan a wedding, he knows the date that I want and right now this engagement seems so far fetched! (He has asked me what month did I want to get married, I told him Aug 2010.) 

    After he read the email the morning he texted me: "I just hope you trust the fact that we will be okay. I know you love me and know that you feel some kind of (negative) way about our future engagement. But we will make it bae, don't we always? "

    My reponse: "Why do you keep saying that?" I trust you but you don't never give an answer to my questions. So yes, I am a bit concerned!

    I am like HUH?! WTF?! All I want is a definite, yes babe it is a possiblity we will be engaged by the end of the year or no sweetie, we won't be able to make that happen!! But instead he text me some BS....

    So am I back at square one and I failed the xmas challenge! Sorry ladies! I need encouraging words....

     
    2.
    Bee Icon
    Bee
    6,780 posts
    Busy
    Beekeeper
    spaniel    March 2010   Los Angeles, CA

    :( I'm sorry! Not sure what to tell you other than to hang tight; the year is almost over.

     
    3.
    Member Icon
    637 posts
    Busy bee
    MzThrowBac2B    December 2012   Tx

    no advice here either but i'm sure you'll get your proposal when the time is right or when you least exect it:)

     
    4.
    Member
    9,964 posts
    Buzzing
    Beekeeper
    CorgiTales    February 1, 2011  

    Aw... just chill a bit. I bet he has something planned and he just wants you to forget about it so he can surprise you. :)

     
    5.
    Member Icon
    Member
    597 posts
    Busy bee
    CHK    July 10, 2010   Northern Idaho

    Oh man.. I know it's hard to not loose your mind while waiting. For sure. I've got no good advice, I lost my cool a lot. Here's a funny one for you:

    In August we were packing up our condo to move to an apartment while building our house this fall. Boyfriend mentioned that maybe we should drink that bottle of champagne we've had floating around the hosue for a year now. Before even blinking I shot back "What, do you think we'll have something to celebrate soon, like maybe finally getting engaged?" with a super snarky attitude... um, yeah. He was planning on proposing the next day.

     
    6.
    Member
    221 posts
    Helper bee
    chaotic bliss       Atlanta

    Corgi, I am chilling or at least trying to.  But I like to have some type of control over my future, I feel like I can't do anything but wait!!

     
    7.
    Member Icon
    Member
    324 posts
    Helper bee
    gingerlex    June 25, 2011   UK

    Ah don't worry, I found I was making myself even more miserable by keeping everything cooped up. Now that I know I can still look at shiny rings with him there (window shopping) and just not pester him, it makes it a bit more bearable! Rather than a ban I'm seeing the Xmas challenge as keeping it to a minimum...I'm such a loser lol

     
    8.
    Member
    221 posts
    Helper bee
    chaotic bliss       Atlanta

    LOL @CHK!! Yes that is pretty funny! You sound snappy just like me!!

     
    9.
    Member Icon
    Member
    6,442 posts
    Bee Keeper
    KMSull    August 7, 2010   Lexington, KY (via Atlanta, GA)

    The harder you push, the more he's going to pull away. Especially if you're yelling and turning into someone other than the girl he fell for originally. Harsh, but true. He sounds like so far he's dealing with it well, but you really do need to trust his timing. Trust me, I understand the panic over planning an August 2010 wedding! I'm trying to do the same thing but we won't get engaged til January at the earliest. A wedding can be pulled together in 3 months and if I have to do that, so be it. What's important is that I get to marry him!

     
    10.
    Member
    2,406 posts
    Buzzing bee
    vintage2010    April 10, 2010  

    Chaotic bliss- Unfortunately you can't do anything but wait.  I'm sorry you feel like he is pulling your chain.  Believe me my FI did the same thing to me and I often would get upset with him.  He would always say something like "you are really a good catch and I'm so lucky to have caught you."  Cheesy I know!

    My worst break down was on our trip to Hawaii.  We had gone to watch the sunrise on the beach.  No one else around it was perfect!  He made the comment that this would be the perfect place to propose!  Excuse me?!  So I said well why don't you?  He said I've been thinking about it but I want to wait.  That's when I lost it.  We had been dating for 3 years, we are in our 30's and it's time!  I felt like a complete a*! when the next day he took me ring shopping and explained that he was waiting until after my brother's wedding so that we didn't overshadow their big day.  Their wedding was the following week. 

    So be calm.  Guys have things planned out and he's just waiting on the perfect time.  Some guys like to have the ring paid for before they ask so maybe that's his hang up.  Maybe he's waiting to talk to your dad.  Who knows.  But try to be patient... the last thing you want is to scare him being crazygirl!

     
    11.
    Hostess
    10,729 posts
    Sugar
    Beekeeper
    crebre80    November 20, 2010   Baton Rouge, LA

    ((HUGS)) Trust me I am there with you... I have no advise other than it sounds like he has a plan and you don't have to bring it up (that's what M tells me all the time). i sometimes get really panicked thinking OMG am I wasting my time, omg he better ask i don't want to think i have wasted all this time waiting for him when i could be "doing me". with that being said, i think m is worth waiting for. i adore him,  and i love us together. we are such a great and fun and funny couple (except when it comes to this).  however, i do have a time period in my head (and he knows it as well) where we will have a discussion about the direction of our relationship.  it won't be an ultimatum, more of a "look we have been together x amt of time and i need to know where our relationship is heading because i feel like you are leading me on."  our relationship is beginning to end its life span in its current state and i may not be around for the next six months if we don't move forward.  what is your opinion on this....

    this isn' t necessarily giving him (or m) an ultimatum just kind of letting the him know you will not wait forever for him to decide, but also not necessarily giving him an ultimatum.

     
    12.
    Member
    221 posts
    Helper bee
    chaotic bliss       Atlanta

    Thanks ladies!

    And Vinatge2010 and Crebre80 you ladies are correct! Maybe he does have a plan, I am just not patient at all! 

     
    13.
    Hostess
    7,536 posts
    Bumble
    Beekeeper
    bellenga    July 31, 2010   Georgia

    I am 100 percent with Crebre80 on this one.  And yes, he didn't really answer your question either imho.

    But I do think he loves you.  But you also need to know the direction of things and where is this going.  That is most important imho knowing the intent.  The whole where.is.this.going.  It has to be addressed and I think you did ok for breaking the waiting bees' vow.

     
    14.
    Hostess
    10,729 posts
    Sugar
    Beekeeper
    crebre80    November 20, 2010   Baton Rouge, LA

    @chaotic: how long have y'all been together? i swear it takes guys time to get used to the thought: okay i want to marry this woman and give her my last name and okay it's time to shop for a ring.  the good thing is after that period, it seems like they buy the ring and propose within a week! so we just have to get over this initial yep i'm going to purchase a ring.. d'oh i have to look for and buy one now...

    I BROKE DOWN...HELPPPP! :  wedding waiting Homer Simpson Doh

     
    15.
    Hostess
    7,536 posts
    Bumble
    Beekeeper
    bellenga    July 31, 2010   Georgia

    Eggsactkly Crebre80!

    He's probably shaking his head going D'Oh!!!!!!!

     
    16.
    Member Icon
    Member
    713 posts
    Busy bee
    Bellini    January 1, 2011   Washington, DC

    ohhh that's so hard.  it's difficult waiting and wondering, trust me when i say i was in your shoes.  good things do happen, in time.  but just remember, you don't want to look back on your engagement feeling iike it wasn't a good experience because you both were stressed out.  hang in there!

     
    17.
    Member
    221 posts
    Helper bee
    chaotic bliss       Atlanta

    I love you ladies!! We have been together <span style="text-decoration: line-through;">don't scream 4 years but if it makes things any better I am 26 and he is 28.

    But I need a precise answer, I am not asking him what date is he planning on proposing and I actually think he will but I want to know if it will be by the end of the year!

    Honestly, I didn't think that I would ever want to get married but I just caught the wedding bug in Feb 09.

    I really do love you guys!!!

     

    Reply

    You must log in to post.

    Tags:





    Visit our sister sites eHarmony
    Online Dating
    eHarmony Advice
    Dating Advice
    Project Wedding
    Wedding Songs
    JustMommies
    Pregnancy Calendar
    Copyright 2004-2012, Weddingbee.com
     

    Find your vendors on Weddingbee

    Real reviews from brides in your area!

    Favors by Weddingbee

    • Favors by season

    Shop Now ยป

    Find Registry Find Registry Find Registry

    More
    User Posts Today
    Lyndzo 37
    Ms. Salamander 23
    beargoose 21
    rebwana 21
    mypinkshoes 20
    his chippymunk 20
    LammChop 17
    fivemonthsnotice 17
    AshleyR83 16
    Jenlon 15

    Waiting

    User Posts Today
    Scottish_lassie 4
    Lyndzo 4
    pharlap 4
    kat2014 3
    HeyKaraoke 3
    ColoradoGirl 3
    Regina Phalange 2
    shirasagi 2
    mrspinnyc 2
    Andr0meda 2
    More