- 7 years ago
I’ve been with my guy for a little over three years now and I have a feeling that he is going to propose within 1-2 months..I know this for sure because we went for our official ring shopping together and he kept saying he’d buy it then when I was there and I didn’t let him…I didn’t wanna be there when he bought the ring! We don’t live together so it’s easy for him to go and buy it anyway..
To cut a long story short, he’s a sweet guy and I’m really lucky to have him and our relationship is going really well at the moment but I remember our 2nd year of relationship being HELL, we fought every week and said some horrible things to each other..I’ve even slapped him twice…Frequent tantrums, swearing and yelling weren’t uncommon during our 2nd year…We both did some tertiary study while working full time and that was a very stressful point in our lives but yeah…I don’t know why I keep getting flashbacks of what we went through then… Oh I also need to add that for both of us this is our first SUPER SERIOUS relationship… For me a lot of the experiences I had was new for me and I learnt a lot about myself, how I behave in certain situations, how insecure and jealous I am etc….And I really still hate myself for it..It’s hard to express the feelings I have now but I feel excited, happy, anxious, and worried at the same time.. I don’t ever want to go through what we went through in the past.. I regret everything I said to him in the heat of the moment and wish I could do things differently..I don’t know why I keep looking back at what I’ve done wrong, I guess I have always been really hard on myself and others, always trying to be perfect..A part of me says he’s doing this because “it’s time and that it’s what I want” or “if I don’t do this she’ll leave me…”. When things were rough he often doubted our compatibility and I don’t think that he ever wanted to marry me in our 2nd year of dating..
I love him tons and can’t picture my life without him and now I have finally learnt how to be myself and yet maintain harmony in our relationship..Sure, everyone fights every now and then, but they are less frequent now for us and we make up faster.. Did anyone go through what I went through when you knew the proposal was coming? How bad were your fights and how did you overcome what I’m feeling right now?