Weddingbee boards

So... I've had one of the most intense weeks of my life so far and I just need to let off steam for a second... real life is not yet ready to hear all of this, so I'm venting to you all first.

Trying not to be TMI, but my week started off with wondering why on earth my period was late, why I was feeling crappy and out of it, and seeing as I know about fifteen pregnant women right now (no joke) I started to freak out about being pregnant. So I'm at work on Monday, frantically searching baby websites for early symptoms of pregnancy and all that, and trying to push out the same volume of work as usual. I made a pretty significant mistake, due to distraction, but by some act of God, it ended up MAKING the company money by redoing the screwed-up deal. Whew. I bet I only get one of those free passes in a career, though. Way to blow it on a temp job, me.

So at the end of the day, I go to Walgreen's and smuggle home a pregnancy test, hiding it from my husband because I don't want to freak him out over something I think is just me being a hypochondriac. Tuesday morning I take it and discover that apparently I am one of those women who just can't read a pregnancy test right. I never thought that would be me... then after a mostly sleepless night (awake with nervousness by 4:45) I took another test Wednesday morning. STILL nothing.

I finally got a digital pregnant/not pregnant one Wednesday afternoon, and guess what? We're becoming parents 6 years ahead of schedule. Oh boy. I get home to tell my husband, but the first words he says when I walk in the door are "Did you get your period yet? I'm worried that you might be pregnant." So my plans for a sweet way of telling him are out the window, and he's already in a bad mood. Then today I get a call from him at work to tell me that the only graduate school he applied to rejected him. So it looks like we are stuck in Mississippi with dead-end jobs in a crappy little house in a crappy little neighborhood making only $40 above budget each month with a baby due in November. And my husband doesn't want to tell our parents until we've taken a clinical test to prove the pregnancy, even though it's become pretty obvious to me the past few days. I am dying to just call my mom and cry on her shoulder, because this is just so overwhelming. I don't know what we're going to do, how we're going to make it. I'm angry that we didn't have more time to just be newlyweds together.. I mean, we were even going to wait a year or more to get a DOG, just so we wouldn't interfere with the first year of marriage.

So any of you who are the praying type, they would be much appreciated... those who don't, kind words and virtual hugs would be awesome too. Dealing with all of this on hormonal mood swings is NOT a fun time...

::Hugs::

I will definatly keep you and your new family in my prayers. Remember, there is a plan and a reason for everything.

(((Hugs!!)))

I agree with the other posters- things happen for a reason. This is a blessing in disguise. You wanted kids eventually now, it'll just be a little early. Go get the blood test, then tell your families! You have NOTHING to be ashamed about. You and your husband are going to be parents!

about the money thing- I totally feel you. But, you'll make it work. Shop at second hand baby stores (such a good idea), use a food precessor to blend the babies food, instead of buying it canned crap all the time. You'lllearn different ways to save money.

Congrats on the baby :)

First and forecmost, CONGRATS.

I know it seems completely overwhelming and out of control at the moment, but everything does happen for a reason.  And I second?  third?  fourth?  other readers who said that they hope that this is a ginormous blessing for y'all.

And I have to completely and totally second MissStellar--second-hand baby stores are definitely something to get familiar with.  Kids grow so fast that they don't wear clothes very long, and a lot of the time, you can find stuff that was never even worn.

I wish you both the best!

I can't even say how much all of this means to me. Thank you all so much for your support, and for your congratulations. It is a little hard right now (especially for my husband) to be excited because we're so scared... also we're a little bit in mourning for the plans that we had, you know? But I have always always wanted this, and I actually was really feeling sad lately that so many of my friends were pregnant and I wasn't yet.

I've already started to see little glimpses of the disguised blessings... no graduate school means that crappy house and jobs in Mississippi or not, we don't have to move across country to new friends, new church, new jobs, new OB/GYN in August. Mr. December's job, though extremely low-paying, is in a really wonderful environment with a super-understanding boss and great insurance. We do have a really awesome church here, and good friends that I know will be supportive. Mr. December will be moving forward with his reenlistment and OCS that I talked about on the military board last week. The Army recruiter is actually going to come to our house next week to help him fill out all the paperwork, and told him that there's no way he wouldn't be accepted. God bless the Army! :)

And yeah, I am a big-time thrift store shopper.. I actually worked in a thrift store in highschool and I remember there being scads of baby clothes for insanely cheap... maybe I will get my mom to go shopping for me and ship some stuff once we find out the sex of the baby.

But again, thank you all SO much. I know that Mr. December is excited too, but it's buried under a lot of scared right now (it took me a while back when we were dating to convince him that he would make a good father -- I know he'll be amazing but he comes from a line of men with issues in that regard), so it's really really really amazing to hear congratulations and excitement from someone.

 I received this email just yesterday and thought it might help.  I'm not a particularly "religious" person, but this may give you some peace of mind. 

'To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did.'   When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better.  Concentrate on this sentence.... 'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you..'  

I do apologize to those of you who for one reason or another have had or will have trouble having kids. I truly am not ungrateful for this, and I hope that my shock in this hasn't been painful for any of you. Part of my surprise is that given my mother's medical history (and my penchant for reading IF blogs...), I thought that I would have difficulties conceiving. So having an "oops" baby is even more of a surprise for me. Big hugs back to any of you who have struggled with miscarriage or infertility. You are stronger than I think I could be right now. My FIL mentioned Mr. December's miscarried older sibling the other day (his mom actually conceived Mr. December less than nine months after losing that baby... gonna have to thank him/her when I get to heaven!) and both of us just can't even think of how painful it would be to lose this child, whether or not we anticipated him.

My prayers are defiantly going out to you. 

It sounds like you have a supportive family and friends, plus everyone here, which is a definite blessing! I'm glad you and the Mr. are trying to look at things in the positive light. Good luck with everything and know that there are a ton of people here who are thinking of you and sending positive thoughts your way!

Thank you again for the kind words and support, everyone. I was away from home friday night, so Mr. December took the opportunity to just get his thoughts in order about all this and he is much more at peace about it... willing to talk about things like names and how we'll arrange our work schedules to accomodate the baby, etc. We're going to a crisis pregnancy center today (I know, they usually talk to unwed moms, not married people planning to keep their baby) just to get OB/GYN recommendations and ask general baby care and planning questions. After the appointment, we'll be calling the folks and telling them, so that support system will be there. I've already hinted to a friend of mine who is 3 weeks further along than me that "We need to talk about baby stuff," so that's exciting... but I still need to tell the women that I'm supposed to be bridesmaids for this summer!

I just wanted to let you all know that what you've said and the advice you've shared has really helped both me and my husband to be more joyful about this surprise... we're still scared out of our minds, but we are really excited about the prospect of being parents. Thank you all SO much!!

{ hugs }   When you see your little precious one, you'll realize that it may have been the sweetest surprise of your life.  Best of luck to you and congrats!