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I'm sorry. Have you tried talking to them and see if there is any way for you to be there for the bride on her big day?
Hey I don't blame you for being upset. I'm a bit confused as to why he thinks it's OK to have your husband but not you? Is it because his wedding party will be uneven? Either way it's your friends job to choose her bridesmaids, not the grooms.
It sounds like you're very close to this girl, why not arrange a lunch and speak to her about it? Keeping this to yourself would probably breed resentment as the wedding comes closer.
Keep us posted!
It might be her way of letting you down easy.. maybe for whatever reason she's decided she doesn't want you to be in the wedding (maybe she decided she'd rather have a different friend instead) and she doesn't feel comfortable being honest with you so she made up a silly excuse to explain it away.
That's nuts! I have seen many, many married couples as part of the wedding party. For example, my niece had her brother and his wife in the wedding party and the husband was a GM and the wife was a BM. Plus if matched up properly, you could be paired with your husband during the recessional. Personally, I think something else is going on here.
Um, that's weird and kind of silly.
Why can't you just walk down together and then re-arrange order in the front of the church? or walk separately and wink at each other once you're both in front?
That's really silly! My sister and BIL are in our wedding party, but she's the MOH and he's a GM, so they won't be walking together. I don't think it's weird at all!
We had a married couple in our wedding party. . I just said as long as your ok with not being partners for walking in the reception. They were fine with it. weird how they would see that as an issue.
I see no problem with it. My sister is married and is my MOH. However, she will be walking with my FI's best friend. Her husband is an usher. They are fine with it.
If they actually wanted you in the wedding, then they should have asked and left that decision up to you.
I totally agree with @MaggieGirl, actually that was my first thought. It's such a dumb reason that doesn't make any sense clearly this is a possibility. It sounds like the bride doesn't actually want you in her wedding party and felt like she had to come up with an excuse so you wouldn't get mad, which of course just made you more mad than if she hadn't said anything. Sorry :(
even though it is up to the couple to decide, but i don't see why married women can't be bridesmaids. all 3 of my bridesmaids are married, but i'd rather have people who i am close to be my bridesmaids rather than having friends who aren't as close.
That is the most unreasonable things I've heard regarding excuses! I am sorry your friends feel that way!
That stinks. Why don't they just have the groomsmen standing at the front already and have the BMs walk in themselves? Then you wouldn't be paired at all.
This is hard because it's a fine line between demanding to be in the wedding party and being given a halfa$$ed excuse why you're not in it. Hmm...maybe ask her what she thinks of her FH's opinion? Maybe she doesn't agree? If she does, I don't think you can argue. They're entitled to their opinion.
I guess I don't even see why it's a big deal if you walk up together. Honestly, just because the two of you got married does not mean that you must be attached for every event for the rest of your lives. It is a nice sentiment to put the two of you together but really your only paired for walking down the aisle and its not like your having a serious conversation. I think its dumb they didn't ask you to be a bridesmaid over something so trivial.
I think that's silly, too, but i know in some cultures it's bad luck to have a married bridesmaid.
Two of our friends were getting married to each other and were in our wedding--and you know what? It just didn't work out for them to walk out together. They didn't mind! BUt i felt bad pairing them up with other people, haha!
That's such a ridiculous reason that you really shouldn't even be upset, just laugh! Just go to the wedding and have a good time. You'll have to do way less work, and get to enjoy more of the festivities if you aren't a bridesmaid!
Thanks girls for all the support. My friend and I did talk, she is simply following along with her FI, which is normal in their relationship. She tends to give in a lot and he likes to control. He's also a jealous person. For example: he doesn't like my friend having guy friends that aren't his friends and she has lost contact with all them.
So, I kind of think that he's projecting his own insecurities on us.I know that it would bother him to see his "wife" be partners with another person. So, I think that he thinks it's weird for us to not be partners...because in actuality it would be weird for him.
I am ok with this now. There isn't much I can do. I know it seems like he's horrible, but he really isn't. For whatever reason, this is how he wants his wedding, and I can respect that.
For our wedding, we had a married couple who weren't standing across from each other, so they walked in together and then my two Matrons of Honor switched places. No one noticed and it wasn't a big deal. Maybe they could do something like that.
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So, my husband (we got married 3 weeks ago) and I introduced two friends to each other and now they are getting married. He asked my husband to be his best man. We were so excited and of course, he said yes.
But today, I find out that she really wanted to me to a bridesmaid, her sister is going to be her MOH, which is totally understandable. Anyway, her FI thinks that since my husband and I can't be "partners" walking into/out of the church that it isn't right for me to be in the wedding. He thinks it's weird to have a couple be a part of the wedding party and not walk together. I can't be a bridesmaid, 'cause I'm married.
I am a little pissed, but mostly hurt! And it's not like I'm going to raise hell over it, it's over, they've decided and it's not like I'd ask them to change their minds. I guess, I just wish they would have consulted us on how we felt. I just needed to vent. Oh...well.