Post # 1
Okay bees, I admit it, I’m a horrible person 🙁
The other night I had a bunch of girlfriends over and I told them all to bring a friend or two so that us ladies could meet some new people. We were all having a great time mingling, enjoying our wine, and mixing martinis when my wedding got brought up. My one girlfriend goes, “Ladies, you have to see this ring it’s beautiful!” Of course I proudly held out my finger to show off my e-ring to the other ladies who I’d just met. One of the new girls then says, “Oh wow your diamond is so much bigger than mine.” (it’s not huge, a halo setting with princess cut centre stone 1.5 cts total, but that’s besides the point) Here is the really terrible part I reply with, “Don’t worry girl you’ll get a bigger one when you get engaged!”
She then just looks at me sort of embarassed and says, “I am engaged.” 😐 Holy cow what!? I am that person? What a bitch I am!! Her ring was just a band with one small stone set in it and for some reason I thought it was a promise ring because she kept referring to her man as her “boyfriend” the whole night. I had no clue she was getting married too! I felt terrible 🙁
Of course I apologized profusely and tried to make light of the situation, but I think I came off as a total snob! Luckily she said it was okay and told me that her and her man hadn’t even set a date yet and that she expected that she would probably get a bigger ring before the time came. I don’t know if she was just saying that though…. 🙁
What do you ladies think I could do or say to make this situation better? She’s such a nice sweet girl and normally I come across as friendly and inviting, but she must think terribly of me now. I feel like a horrible person 😐 I’m totally not a snob in the least, but I think with a few drinks in me the words just slipt out of my mouth without putting 2 and 2 together. I need some advice!
Post # 3
If you have her email address, I would send her a quick note to apologize again and say that you totally put your foot in your mouth and hope you didn’t offend her. Then let it go – bringing it up after that will only make it worse. Or, you could tell the friend that brought her that you feel awful and mistakenly assumied it was a promise ring since she referred to her SO as her boyfriend all night. And hope that your friend conveys your regrets.
Post # 4
I’d just apologize and tell her how awful you feel but that you didn’t realize she was engaged because she referred to her “boyfriend”. It’s an honest mistake but I’m sure her feelings were hurt. A little bit of kindness & humility from you would probably go a long way with her now.
Post # 5
Yikes yeah, you are LOL!
I would apologize in email or person if you see her, then drop it. Just call it word vomit 😀
Post # 6
I would definitely ask your friend to pass along an apology. I would lean heavily on the fact that she just kept calling him her boyfriend.
Don’t you hate it when you say stupid stuff? 🙁
Post # 7
I would lean heavily on the fact that you had had obviously a glass (sip?) too many and how awful you feel for making an incorrect assumption. Pass it along through your friend or shoot the girl an email yourself.
Next social outing you have that’s similar have your friend make sure to invite her, and then DON’T SAY ANYTHING STUPID THIS TIME. lol. 🙂
Post # 8
I probably would have made the same assumption if she had been referring to her fiance as her boyfriend all night. You probably should apologize again, but after this not say anything more about it. Next time you’re in that kind of situation, I’m sure you’ll handle it differently, and all of us stick our foots in it everything once in a while, so don’t beat yourself up to badly about it.
Post # 9
People say offensive things without meaning to all the time, but unfortunately that doesn’t make them any less offensive. I know that when I get a ring, I don’t particularly WANT it to be big. And while I’m prepared for the occasional comment, I’m sure it will still hurt.
However, the fact that you feel so bad about it and obviously DIDN’T mean it to come off like that means a lot. If you were actually a snob you wouldn’t be apologetic about it. I think she understands that at least a little bit, especially since she wasn’t referring to him as her fiance.
If you want to make things right with this girl and want to make things right, maybe invite her along to some more (unintoxicated) girl time. I don’t think you have to continually say how sorry you are-that would probably just make it more awkward- but let your normal, non-snobbish personality shine through. Who knows, maybe you could even talk wedding stuff? It’s always good to have a planning buddy.
Post # 10
Innocent mistake. I know that when I’ve been drinking sometimes I say things that I know are incorrect, but they still come out of my mouth. It’s like my brain is in slow motion and my mouth is normal speed. Hopefully she understands!
Like the others have sad, maybe phoning her up and apologizing again would be good. But don’t make it embarassingly over-the-top. (Embarassing for her, I mean. If that makes sense.) Like, heartfelt, but simple. You could maybe make the call not just about apologizing, but thanking her for coming over and saying how glad you were to meet her. You know, throw some positive in with the negative.
Post # 11
Thank for the suggestions ladies! We had one of those parties where you can purchase lotions, spa products, lingerie etc. so maybe when her order comes in I can mention something again then. I hope she is forgiving, but she seems to be that way. Fingers crossed 🙂
Post # 12
Aww, it sounds like it was a completely innocent comment. I wouldn’t worry too much about it. Maybe buy her a latte and just apologize again 🙂
Post # 13
I was all set to be all “damn, Ms. Snobby!!” but you’re being so sweet and apologetic about it I just want to give you a hug. I’m sure she will too. 🙂 Just apologize again and mention that she kept referring to her FI and her boyfriend, then let it go (that way there’s an explanation along with the apology.)
I’m sure it’ll be fine. 🙂
Post # 14
I think that if you wanted to send her an email or FB apology – it would be nice, but its totally not necessary. She kind of set herself up by saying “Wow your diamond is so much bigger!” What were you supposed to say? I found myself in the same situation the other day – my married friend was looking at my e-ring and commented on how much bigger my diamond is than hers. I think I said something like “Uh… yes I guess!”
It sucks feeling like a bitch – but just the fact that you’re so worried about this shows how nice you actually are!!
Post # 15
I would personally apologize to her again, (email/call/card) or something. Focus on her, congradulate her on her engagement, ask details. Swap wedding ideas and be involved, maybe you can help her and suggest venues, pricing and all that good stuff. She’ll feel that you are sincere and def going out of your way.
Post # 16
I think that because you feel badly shows you’re not a B but just said the wrong thing. If you really were a B. you wouldn’t be giving it a second thought. I would just send her an e-mail apologizing again, for having your foot in your mouth. that you were caught off guard by her comment, thought she had been talking about her b/f, and I’m sure the wine had some play in it.