- 6 years ago
- Wedding: February 2014
My slightly distant cousin (who we’ll call D), who is actually a really great friend of mine, is marrying a girl (yes, girl, due to her immaturity on most subjects) in just under 3 weeks. We’ll call her G.
I won’t go too far into it, but the gist is this: My brother (S) is a pill popper. He finally went to detox and then rehab but was “relieved” due to not making a couple meetings and his attitude. Really, the attitude was probably more due to the fact that my brother is atheist and the rehab facility is run by a Catholic company (it was his only option at the time) but I deifnitely agree he should have been more open to the overall lessons. The meetings thing is inexcusable but that’s far from the point right now. He is clean, sober, and has been out for just about a week now. D is happy to know that S would be able to make it to the wedding since he WAS a groomsman (until G got far too pissed off at him from some drama she fueled) and obviously means a lot to D. We were all sad to hear that S was relieved from rehab but he has been going to meetings and for the first time in a very very long time back to the old S that we knew and loved.
Yesterday was D&G’s RSVP deadline and called me to ask if S and our parents are coming. Of course I say I don’t know, call them up and find out. So they get ahold of my parents, find out that they can’t come due to my mom’s brand new job and her conflicted work schedule. S can definitely make it, as long as he has a ride to and from and S promptly asked if D knew anyone who wasn’t staying the night that he knows as well. He wouldn’t be able to come with me since I’ll be staying the night at the hotel and S doesn’t have the money to afford the hotel. D called me last night to ask if I had any suggestions since all he had were dead ends. He mentions that G doesn’t want S there since “he won’t be able to afford a present”. Yes, I really mean those quotes!
Today, I get a phone call at work from my mother asking about what she thinks would be nice to get D&G. I explained that G was given a lot of gifts from her registry at her shower, and that D didn’t get any that were really for him (despite him being there) so I suggested she find something that was more D related than G. I also explained that G returned numerous gifts from her registry to exchange it in for a Kuerig (on the registry), just a couple days after her shower, and that left a terrible taste in my mouth. She agreed D needed something fun and definitely more aimed at him since everything else seemed more G.
About 20 minutes later my mother calls again. She tells me G had just called the house, was very sweet and polite to her on the phone, then asked to speak to S. She hands over the phone and S gets the bad news. G is disinviting S from the wedding completely, stating that he has yet to apologize for all the things he has done and she doesn’t want him there. I immediately text D and to try and figure out what is going on. D completely disagrees with what G has done, but will do nothing to change it. I told D that I am incredibly upset, and that G is driving a wedge between him and this family. I told him I will be at his wedding only for him at this point but she has just made it incredibly hard for me not to recind my yes RSVP. Yes, S has done us all wrong, but he just got out of rehab and is trying to figure out the next step and is going to meetings daily. No, it wasn’t right for him to do anything he has done, no is it excuseable, but we’ve got to step back and give the man, and his cousin, a chance to say his apologies now that he is sober. He agreed with me and told me that if I do recind my RSVP he will understand. I told him flatly that I wouldn’t do that because he is more than my cousin, he is a good friend of mine. he is someone I can turn to and confide in when needed, and it is unfortunate that his future wife is getting in the way of others (S and now my parents as well) who feel the same way being there for you as well.
If anyone managed to read that all, WOW. Thank you.
I know that this really isn’t between D and me, or even G and me, but I’m so incredibly hurt that she is driving such a wedge between D and my family. I’m really not sure where to go from here. Anyone advice anyone?