Post # 1
Let me start by saying that I love my now FI. The proposal was perfect and I love him more than the world but its what happened surrounding the proposal that has me so upset. We were home this weekend visiting my parents along with my siblings. I dont often get to see my older brother, maybe every 3-4 years, so he hasnt met my FI. They were talking and bonding, my FI knows how much it meant to have him meet my brother before we got married. Well my brother is married so of course his wife comes with but I don’t like her and never will. I have my reasons including some that she brought up. I didnt expect much for a ring, we are young and with no savings, I had picked out a simple 0.15 ct diamond solitare. Well that wasnt what I got, his mother gave him a loose 1.8 ct diamond from his grandmothers 50th wedding anniversary pendant necklace. I was beyond shocked with the ring and the proposal went great, was a complete surprise.
After he proposed we went back home and thats where it got into being a horrible weekend. My family was great and happy but my SIL decided to start calling me a spoiled brat. I took it as her being upset over the ring but I dont understand why. She has had 4 engagement rings since they got engaged, nothing was ever good enough for her so she keeps getting new ones. Well later that night while she was pouting she decided to go off on how I must be marrying him for the money. While his parents have money he does not but his parents are generous in helping with an affordable wedding. I never once mentioned them having money or anything about them to my family, especially my SIL, other than that they are amazing. The only people that know we are getting money for the wedding are FI, my parents and myself.
I found that it was odd that she brought this up and so did he. My little niece later brought the ipad over to me so I could help her find a game to play but I found something I didnt like at all. My FI has a very unique last name and it looked like she had been searching him and his family on the internet. Now if it was just facebook search I really wouldnt care but she did a lot more searching to the point I think she is going too far. Then this morning before we left she made it a big deal about my ring and get the specs. I also caught her searching to see how much my ring cost. All i wanted was to enjoy engagement and celebrate with families but instead I got attitude from her. She took it even farther that while after church with my extended family to spread that its all about the money and how shallow I am being. I know my family doesnt agree with what she said because many of them find it odd that she doesnt like me. im not in it for the money and they all know it because even on a tight college budget every time I go home I always buy my grandparents a fridge full of food so they dont have to worry.
I guess im just upset and still fuming about everything she did to push my buttons instead of letting me enjoy the time celebrating with family. I mean I love him so much but I feel these first few days have just been ruined.
Post # 3
Ugh! Sorry your SIL is SUCH a raging psycho! But it only looks bad on her.
On the other hand, congrats on your AMAZING FI and almost as amazing e-ring!
Post # 4
- Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California
If you only see them 3-4 years I don’t understand why you place such importance on her opinion, especially if you don’t like her & your family knows it’s all lies anyway! Sweep this under the rug, be the bigger person, move on, & continue to celebrate your engagement & relationship :]
Post # 5
She sounds pretty evil! Don’t let her bring you down —- congratulations and enjoy every second of your engagement! She’s just being a hater!
Post # 6
@stephanie091512: its not that I care what she thinks but that she couldnt even put on a fake smile and not keep trying to bring me down. I kinda expected this from her considering when my sister got married she wanted to do a big vow renewal the same weekend after her wedding. I guess im just shocked she cant hide it but truthfully I wasnt expecting her to start searching his background.
Post # 7
@waitingforthering2: First of all, congratulations on the proposal!
Second of all, don’t let her wreck your happiness. That is what she is trying to do! She is obviously very unhappy and most likely jealous of you, and when people are unhappy and jealous of you, they try to make you feel unhappy. Don’t let her win. She is acting immature and like a spoiled brat herself! Plus she seems to love drama. I’ve known a few people like this. She has issues. Don’t let it ruin the happiness that you have. It was your engagement weekend – one of the happiest moments of your life…she knows this and seems to not want you to have that. She’s acting very selfish. But one thing i’ve also noticed is that people like that try to call out things in others that they have their own insecurites about. For instance…cheaters often accuse faithful partners of cheating because they themselves feel guilty. You mentioned that she has like FOUR engagement rings?! Who seems to be more in it for money or superficial reasons? The fact that she spends how much time searching about how much your ring costs…says alot of where her values are. Maybe she has a guilty conscience about the fact that you are IN LOVE and in love just for who your FI is and not for the money and it’s sparking her guilty conscience. These are her issues, and she wants to ruin this moment for you. Don’t let her have the satisfaction! The more happy you are the more it would probably bother her. You know you and what this is about for you. You are in love. Be happy – love what this weekend truly was about! You and your FI, your love and the fact of how wonderfully exciting this moment really is for you! Don’t let her control you. This is your moment…not hers..as much as she wants this to be about her! Take the power back and be excited! 🙂
Post # 8
@waitingforthering2: Sounds to me like she just wants to be the center of attention. Even if this means trying to find fault with you or your FH. Going about and talking shit about your happy time, screams a jealousy issue on her part. That is pretty psycho to go and google info on someone just to be a wench, and to try to steal your thunder so to speak.
Try not to let it bother you. Why people do this is beyond me. The bottom line is it makes her look like a psycho-wench!!
Enjoy your engagement and what sounds to be a fabulous engagement ring.
Post # 9
@waitingforthering2: First of all-CONGRATS on your engagement!! This deserves to be CELEBRATED!!
And second of all-What a bitter lady you SIL is!!! I’m guessing that she is one of those people who are just never satisfied. I mean, 4 engagement rings, she has an iPad…and she’s all worried about your business?
Even more so…Do your parents/brother allow her to talk about you this way or is she doing this behind their back? She sounds very very unhappy!!!! I’m sorry for what you are dealing with! HOW UNCOOL!
Post # 10
She sounds like a jealous, assuming, bitch! Don’t let her steal your joy. It sounds like everyone else who is close to you understands, and that’s what matters.
Post # 11
@veryberry13: They allow it, no one called her out on it at all. They heard everything but only said stuff about it to me because they saw how upset I was getting. My brother didnt say anything but I think he has just learnt to deal with her or completely ignore her little rants. My FI has been great because he knows its hard for me but he said it will be different when we celebrate with his parents this week.
Post # 12
- Wedding: July 2014 - Prague
I’m so sorry your familly isn’t sticking up for you more. I bet they just don’t want to cause your brother pain– b/c I have to say, I really feel sorry for him. Assuming that he isn’t a d*ckhead, he’s got to feel terrible about her. And he’s stuck with her.
Congratulations! It sounds like you’re marrying into a great, supportive family and that your FI is wonderful. 🙂
Post # 13
@prahajess: his family is great, I adore his mother so much and they have been great with our relationship. She was the one that pushed him to ask me out so I guess I owe her for all of it.
Post # 14
She is CRAZY.COM/JEALOUS/HATING!!! Don’t mind her, let her worry about your ring and just ignore her off of the face of the earth.
Post # 15
Just ignore her – she’s jealous. My FSIL googled me when FI first started dating over 5 years ago, it didn’t matter who I was, anyone who dated her brother she wasn’t going to like – just like FMIL. I didn’t involve either one of them in my wedding planning, in fact I’m hoping neither one of them comes to my DW. I tried to be nice for a few years but after a time I just stopped caring. Don’t let her push your buttons, it’s not worth the heartache. Let her keep talking.
Post # 16
@waitingforthering2: what a freakin weirdo. Just think of the torment she has to go through on the inside though, I mean its driving her crazy. You can rest easy knowing she is driving herself insane and mad all by herself – hopefully your brother wont get the brunt end of it.
and congrats! You will have to change your screen name now :p