Post # 1
Hey everyone! I have been engaged for about a month! My fiance’s sister (late teens) was both homeschooled her whole life. She has a very introverted personality, not sure if that stems from the lack of interaction or if its just her personality. She doesn’t leave her house much, simply because she enjoys being by herself.
She is a very sweet girl! I really like her and I am so glad to be a part of his family. My biggest fear is that she doesn’t like me….
I have done a couple little things with her, like going to Barnes and Noble together and getting coffee, etc. She’s always kind to me, she got me a Christmas gift that related around being sisters. She lets me borrow books. We share interests. She’s going to be a bridesmaid.
I guess I worry she doesn’t like me because she can be stand-offish at times. Fiance says its just her personality. For instance, a preview for a movie she wanted to see came on. She kept saying how badly she wanted to go see it. I offered to go with her. She kind of talked about us going, then dropped it. As I left, I told her to let me know if she wanted to go. She never said anything else about it. So I brought it up again the other day. She was like, “Are you sure you want to see it? It doesn’t seem like a movie you’d like.” I was persistent that I would love to go see it together (I want to have a close relationship! She’s my family now). She finally agreed, but I almost felt like I was harrassing her to go with me.
I then asked if she wanted me to come to their house before and we could just ride together…she said she’d just meet me at the theater. I am not sure how to react to this. I know it’s not a big deal, but I just can’t help but wonder, why wouldn’t we ride together??? It’s not like it would be out of the way for me to come to their house….
What do you all think? I don’t think it has anything to do with her wanting to see it with anyone else or anything, as she doesn’t have any other people she really hangs out with, to my knowledge.
Am I just over-analyzing? Could this really just be a part of her personality? Or do you think it’s something personal towards me? Thanks everyone!!! She will often decline when my fiance invites her places. She’s introverted, which is fine. I love her, she’s my sister now, and I want to have a strong relationship with her for the rest of my life! I just want her to feel the same.
Post # 3
Honestly, she’s a teenager. Teens are moody and standoffish – I know I was! It sounds like she does enjoy spending time with you, so don’t fret. It could also be that she’s just not ready to let someone she doesn’t know super well be a huge part of her life. You’ve got years ahead to be close, so try not to push it too much or worry – just let things happen. Keep up with offering to do things together, but if she seems uninterested realize she’s probably got a billion things happening in her head at once and it probably isn’t a personal thing against you 🙂
Especially if your FI says it’s her personality – he knows her very well, so he’s probably right.
Post # 4
I think you are over analyzing. Just take the relationship as it comes and develops, while it would be nice to be close sometimes just having a positive relationship is good. You don’t need to be besties with her.
Post # 5
I suspect she is the kind of person that doesnt want to put you out of your way. This is why she wont instigate making plans. You will have to say “Can you go to the movies on X date at Y time?” AS opposed to “Lets see this movie sometime”
This is also why she probably wants to meet you there.1) She doesnt want to feel like a burden and since she likes being aloneand 2), she may be uncomfortable with too much one on one time at the moment.
Post # 6
Don’t over analyze it. I think everything you have told us about her sounds like she likes you. You should let her warm up to you. She’s just shy.
Post # 7
You said she was introverted–I am the same, and I know sometimes that is seen as being cold and aloof, even with people you know. It sounds like she is very thoughtful and kind (especially for a teenager!). I wouldn’t take it personally–give her time to come out of her shell with you.
Post # 8
You totally looking to much into to. Sometimes I prefer to meet people at locations rather than ride together in a car or the train. Its nothing personal, I just want alone time. Everything else seems like she likes you enough. Give it time.
Post # 9
She’s shy and socially awkward. Just be nice to her. She probably likes you but it having a hard time interacting. Going to the movies is perfect because she doesn’t have to struggle to make conversation.
I don’t know her, of course, but that sounds a lot like me at the age. I wouldn’t overthink it, and don’t expect her to react the same way you might. She has her own reasons for saying/doing things her way that she won’t be able to explain or put into words (even if you asked her, which I wouldn’t)! Don’t point out or make a big deal if she acts differently than most people, this will just make her feel more self conscious.
It sounds like you two are getting off on the right foot 🙂
Post # 10
Sounds like she suffers (& I mean SUFFERS) from social anxiety. Just continue being kind to her. I bet she really likes you a lot.