I can't have sex right now and I feel terrible for my FI!

posted 3 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 2
394 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Don’t feel guilty, you don’t “owe” anyone anything. He’ll get over it.

Post # 3
889 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

sex is nice when both want it / are able to have it. I don’t believe in there being a “right” to sex in a relationship or having “wifely duties”. It’s not like you’re punishing him becaus he didn’t get you the gift you wanted or anything. 

a relationship should be about much more than sex and you’ll surely survive not having any for a while. 

Hope theyll find out what it is soon an that you’ll get better and things can get back on track 😉

Post # 4
2196 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Aww sorry you’re going through this. I guess he’ll just have to settle for blowjobs

Post # 6
1131 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I’ve been in a similar situation before. I kept FI happy with hands and mouth, and he kept me happy with his fingers. Depending on the issue, he ought to be able to give you an O just by touching you on the outside, no? Or even through your panties? It was a tough 6-9 weeks or so (can’t really remember) but FI got through it, as many men have done before him and as your FI will as well.

Post # 7
7194 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

We waited the normal 6 weeks after having a baby to have sex while I recovered. It hurt really bad the first few times we tried, and still hurts sometimes 5 months postpartum. I just did the other stuff, and he was fine with it.

Post # 8
7052 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

BurlapnLace:  Actually sex during pregnancy is great! But a break in sex is necessary after giving birth, for a month or two. Not to mention couples who get separated due to military postings etc. Lots of other people manage and so will you and your FI!


Post # 9
2782 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

BurlapnLace:  I’m going through something very, very similar….like I think we might be going through the same thing.  I don’t know that I feel bad though– to be honest I’m just more frustrated with what’s going on with ME LOL– because I’m really uncomfortable.

My husband has been super understanding– 

wonder if we are dealing with the same thing!!

Post # 10
42157 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I have never heard a guy voice  complaint that he would not be happy with a blowjob or a handjob in the absence of intercourse.

You can also relieve your own frustration with masturbation or he can do it for you.

Post # 11
948 posts
Busy bee

He’ll live.  You don’t “owe” him anything, and “wifely duties” is incredibly antiquated.

Post # 12
2696 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

This is life. If your hubs has a problem with it (not saying he does though) than that is his problem. Think if the roles were reversed… you’d be compassionate to your DH that he has a painful or medical problem preventing him from DTD…right?

Post-pregnancy, it was almost 10 weeks before we could DTD again… DH didn’t complain once.

I hope you feel better soon! Don’t be so hard on yourself.

Post # 13
8389 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

julies1949:  +1, blowjobs are always welcome lol

Post # 14
3251 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

He’ll get over it. He has a hand.  😉

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