i can't hold a job (please help)!!

posted 3 years ago in Career
Post # 3
715 posts
Busy bee

@Stace126:  Aw, so sorry you’re going through this 🙁 

I think it’s good that you’re aware of the fact that medication and therapy will help you. Make sure to seek treatment.

Not sure if any of these would immediatly help you, but it seems like your under a tremendous amount of pressure. I think you need to make sure you are not experiencing as much pressure as you are at the moment and start to feel good about yourself. Have you tried something like meditation, yoga, Jacobson’s progressive muscel relaxation… or if that’s more your thing dancing, swimming, running, going to the sauna… or maybe take up a craft, learning a foreign language or volunteering?  

Maybe it would also help you to focus on one day at a time. Don’t think of the dreaded two week period; think about this day, Tuesday. Put your effort and energy into that single day. And once you’ve pulled through, focus on the next day. Maybe it helps to do a little countdown (like take a postcard or a sheet of paper for every day; maybe write some inspirational things on it… or write your goals for that single day on it… like -getting up at xx am & get ready – leave the house by xx am -showing up at xx am at work – reading and replying to e-mail from xx – yy am – working on project x from yy – zz am)

I wish you all the best!



Post # 5
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

@Kili:  These are really good suggestions.

Also, is there anyone at work you can rope in as a sort of mentor? Maybe ask them to lunch and pick their brain about how they deal with angry customers or whatever else you find difficult?

At the very least, it will show people in the office that you are serious about wanting to improve and are doing something pro-active to help yourself. And from what you said about the positive environment there, I’m sure someone would be willing to help.

Post # 6
2897 posts
Sugar bee

Have you discussed the steps you are taking to fix it with your supervisor? I don’t know if it would help your case, but sometimes if you are honest with your supervisor about the fact that you recognize the problem and are working hard to correct it and ask for a little more patience and support, they may be sympathetic and give you more time rather than firing you after the initial period. That will give you more time on your meds to adjust. 

I second the Yoga, meditation route. Buy a dvd or stream over the internet so you don’t have to strain yourself financially to pay for classes. 

Good luck! 

Post # 7
2169 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

All I can offer is *hugs*.  I wish I could offer advice… but I’m currently stuck in a very similar situation.  I’ve never actually received a warning but a combination of other health issues and depression has caused me significant issues at work and I’m on the brink of resigning my current job, having not worked for most of the past two months.  I’m totally stuck, and totally desperate.  I need a break, but we can’t afford it.  I need to find a part time job closer to home so that work doesn’t suck the life out of me… but there’s not much going.  My experience has been in court typing … my hands are now stuffed from RSI.  I’m hopeless at reception or customer service because I’m a huge extrovert and anything public-facing freaks me out and drains me super fast.  It’s so hard being in an untenable situation but not having the resources to get out of it… that’s what I hear in your post and what resonates with me so mcuh.  All I can do is offer my ears if you need to rant away.  

Post # 8
11626 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I definitely recommend talking to your supervisor about all of your stressors.  An open and honest dialogue goes a long way at work.  If any of my subordinates came to me with your list of struggles, I would be more than willing to be flexible and try to help as much as I could. 

BUT, there comes a point, that if you just can’t do the job, you can’t do it, and it’s not the right fit for you. Your employer can’t keep you on payroll if you aren’t adequately performing your responsibilities, despite everything else going on in your life.  Perhaps you and your employer can come to a mutual agreement and make a plan about how to improve with benchmarks along the way.  If you fail to meet the benchmarks, then it may be time to look elsewhere.  If you improve, it will show how much effort you put in despite the chaos in your personal life.

Good luck!

Post # 9
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I’m so sorry this is happening to you!  I like @abbie017:‘s suggestion of coming up with an action plan with your supervisor.

Post # 10
5222 posts
Bee Keeper

@Stace126:  Sorry you are going through this! My biggest piece of advice is to try and speak with a professional about how to better manage stress. Having outside stressors sideline your job performance and your livelihood is a huge issue, and taking on the burden of other people’s stress is just not healthy. I know it is easier said than done, but it sounds like this has crossed the line from something that is “just a phase” to something that is deeply impacting your life.

Post # 11
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Why is the appointment in two weeks? If it’s because your therapist’s schedule is packed, I’d suggest finding a different therapist if possible.

I am also working on de-stressing. I find yoga to be helpful but I’m still a bit fidgety. I do YogAmazing on itunes – it’s a free podcast.
I do deep breathing and it helps a LOT. I do it throughout the day but most often: when my car is warming up, between the last time I hit “snooze” and get out of bed, when I wash my hands in the bathroom.
It’s doing it during those routine thing that’s been setting the habit for me.
There is a website called Do As One that you might want to look at – it’s worldwide deep breathing. It instructs you on how to breathe properly and keep up a nice slow tempo.

And hey, whether or not you’re meant for something better is an issue best left up to fate/god.
Here’s the deal: if “something better” comes along tomorrow, will you be prepared?
If not (and TBH I know I’m at a point in my life where I’m answering “no”) then the best thing – the ONLY thing – you can do about that is to just start being BETTER. Doesn’t matter if your job isn’t ideal, or your life isn’t ideal; your ducks aren’t in a row or are nowhere to be seen.
You have to start somewhere (and key word is “start,” it’s a beginning) and you never need to be perfect, you just need to be working on being better for your own happiness – whether it’s now or in the future.

This is the start of a new year – use it as a reason to start to kick off a new you.

Post # 12
4139 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

While this doesn’t address every issue you’re facing, have you considered seeing a career counselor? How can you do well in something that doesn’t match your skill set? What’s that saying about judging a fish by it’s ability to climb a tree??

Oh and as terrible as this sounds, do not under any circumstances share the fact that you are depressed, stressed etc. with work. I made this error and the label followed me for years. So much that I had to get right out of the industry I was in. Get help and deal with it, and get support from your family and friends and counselor, but do not bring it up at work. 



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