Post # 1
So. I’m not sure where to start here, I’m just overwhelmed and feel like there’s no way I can do this all on my own.
My mother, though she would love to help, lives 6 hours away so really the best she could do is offer emotional support. My older sister, who is the number one person I would turn to, lives even farther away and has a lot on her plate anyway. My Maid/Matron of Honor is two states over. I have one other bridesmaid – who lives an hour from me. Fiance is wonderful but is of course a dude…could not care less about the details of pearl bouquets, table runners, and the like. He just wants to know what it looks like when it’s done and have some yes/no power to say he likes something or doesn’t.
I have never been good at party planning and have no idea how I’m going to pull a wedding together. It doesn’t help that I’m a perfectionist, although that’s not in the traditional meaning? I mean, I’m flexible about things not matching PERFECTLY, etc, but in the end, the whole picture has to be perfect… if that makes any sense? I mean, it’s my wedding! Of course it has to be perfect. What if I screw it up… there’s so much that I can forget…I downloaded 3 different wedding apps to my phone and I still don’t feel like it’s all there.
There’s no way that I can afford a wedding planner, even if there were any good ones in my area. I’m a budget bride, and that already means doing so much yourself; I needs more hands, voices, opinions, etc. Which I guess is the opposite problem that a lot of brides have.
Ugh I am just really needing a more hands-on support network.
I know that nobody really cares about your wedding as much as you do…but I can’t do this by myself.
Anybody else feel this way? 🙁
Post # 3
AwwwAwe ewe, I immediately looked at your location because if you were close, I would help in a heartbeat. Maybe you can get support from the gals here And your Fiance for things that you have to go look at in person? There are some amazing plannes here that could help you in even from afar.
Post # 4
You are stressing your self out unnecessarily. You have a whole community of online friends who will be glad to help.
Some brides might even look enviously upon you. No one to undermine their decisions or fail to keep appointments.
You can still assign some jobs to the Dude- like the playlist, groomsmen’s gifts. Of course he will consult with you before he makes any final decisions but he can at least do the groundwork.
There are Bees from your area who can help with suggestions for venues, vendors etc.
Let us know what help you need. As a group, we can source just about anything!
Post # 5
Awwww, thank you! You’re sweet! 🙂
I will definitely be utilizing the boards more as I move into getting a lot of things done. It’s just hard to know when I need to do what, timeline-wise, and on top of that, there’s the question of if I *can* do things in order due to budget constraints.
@julies1949: You’re right… I may be overthinking this some. I’m trying keep a positive attitude; some days are just worse than others. I think I’m lonely more than anything. Someone to help make decisions, though – I know a lot of other brides have trouble with too much of that, so I definitely am appreciative that I have so much freedom! It’s just a little harder for me because I am the worst at making decisions! It took me almost half an hour to pick out a ball for my dogs last night haha.
Also… FI/The Dude (love that! lol!) is happy to help on any things that require phsyical visits – he was great when we did the walkthrough at our venue and asked some questions that I totally would have forgotten. He’s also very much involved in our menu options and will be entirely in charge of getting his groomsmen and groom-related things together. So, he is willing to help. He just doesn’t understand littler things very much.
Post # 6
I feel the same! Everyone who would love to help is far away. Thank goodness for the bees! It will be okay 🙂 It is a bit stressful, I have never planned a party before and now we are planning the biggest one of our lives! If you need any help, let me know! Sometimes it just helps to write or talk out your ideas to get a better feel of how it will all come together.
Post # 7
- Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World
@autumnmountainbride: Have you visited theknot.com? They have a checklist that pretty much lists everything under the sun for weddings, as well as a budget calculator to help you keep your finances in order. I’m in a similar situation since all of my family live in FL, while I’m in VA. The Bridal Party is scattered all over the place (and none of them near me) and FH is deployed, so my cat and dog are my companions these days, lol. I also have “liked” pretty much every wedding page on FB and follow their Twitter as well. Yes, it’s not like having someone giving you feedback on your ideas or being a listening ear for when you just want some of the girls to hang with you and talk wedding, but it does help a little. Over the last couple weeks, I have felt like you do…everyone is too busy to talk and doesn’t seem as excited or interested as me in the wedding stuff (not even FH, which is understandable, given his current situation). I just let it go and go back to the Bee for company, lol. :-p
Post # 8
I’ve been feeling the same. I have older brothers, and while I’m close to my sisters in law, they all live too far away. My mom died a few years ago, & my guy’s mom is pretty much estranged. About 3 days in to the engagement I had a meltdown about it. Fortunately my maid of honor and her mom are like family, but like you said no one cares as much as you do. Makes me wish things were different, but all I can do is keep on planning and be gracious about friends offering to help.
Post # 9
I can relate! Im in VA but my entire family is in IA and AZ. We’re on a shoe string budget and jokingly say the theme of our wedding is Dollor Store. You’re not alone, this website has giving me some great tips and websites to find cheaper ways of doing things. What’s helped me is doing one piece at a time, for instance I’ll work on flowers for a while before I try to tackle reception food etc
Post # 10
@autumnmountainbride: I feel your pain! I have had these same exact feelings. As I began making plans I begged my FI to let me get a wedding planner. I do not have the confidence in myself to pull this off. Of course he believes we can make it happen together, without the help of a planner. We are 11 months out and he is already tired of me driving him crazy about all the details. I share your perfectionism. I have to have everything matching and just so or it will drive me insane!!!! My best friend/maid of honor is 2 hours away. She gives me awesome support over the phone but I would love to have her closer. My mother and I are not that close and my father lives 6 hours away. With that being said, this is definately the best place to be. The hive has been a great place for inspiration. Any question you can think of, or at least I have thought of, has been asked and answered on here. I hope that you find the support you need and it get easier as you get closer to your day!
Post # 11
We’re ALLLLLL here to talk you through anything you need help with, and like julies1949 mentioned, sometimes other people can (even unintentionally) make it very difficult to make decisions, keep appointments, etc. In the end, you may be glad you got to do a lot of planning alone.
My Maid/Matron of Honor is in FL, and other BMs are nearby but not as interested, so I’ve done most of the planning solo/with Maid/Matron of Honor and one Bridesmaid or Best Man via text/email/calls. It’s actually worked out really well for me because I’m a control freak anyway!