Post # 1
Every time I think about it, I get overwhelmed and just put away the papers, pamphlets, and ideas. Every single time my Fiance and I have gone out to go something wedding related, a sales associate will ruin the entire day.
I know that makes me sounds stupid and like a brat, but seriously, what is wrong with people?
We decided yesterday at the last minute that we wanted to go into the next town over to look at wedding bands, for myself, at the biggest pawn shop in the tri-cities. I wasn’t wearing make up or fancy clothes, just jeans and a t-shirt with some flip flops.
We walked in to the pawn store and I was asked if I was looking for anything in specific. I told the woman that I was looking for a 10k white gold wedding band, without any diamonds. She directed me over to a counter, pulled out a ring and showed it to me. The tag said, 14k, so I asked her if she had one similar in a 10k. And that’s when she got simply nasty with me. She started rolling her eyes and huffing, chastising my metal choice and asking me how soon I “needed” the ring, while staring at my stomach.
Seriously. What the HELL is wrong with people?
I had finally had enough, turned to my Fiance who’s mouth was hanging open, and we left.
I can’t plan this wedding. I can’t even freaking buy a wedding band.
Post # 3
(HUGS)She was incredibly rude. Sorry you are having crappy experiences like that. It’s easier said than done but try not to let those experiences be a precursor for your entire wedding planning process….you have enough time that you need to take a week or two and just say NO to wedding planning! It really helps.
When we were planning, I got burnt out December-January (holidays) and I just didn’t do a damn thing concerning the wedding! When the holidays were over, I felt better and I wasn’t burnt out anymore and could continue planning.
Post # 4
She was incredibly rude, what a jerk.
I am not defending her in any shape or form, but 10K may be harder to find in a local shop. Many stick with 14K as a minimum b/c 10K is less than 50% gold. If I were you, I’d look online. I bet you can find a good deal on either Amazon or Overstock.com for 10K, with much more selection than a local store.
It does get overwhelming at times. I’ve had days where I catch myself not even breathing right (like gulping air) b/c I’m overthinking things…. and I’m normally somewhat calm. I agree with PP, there are days — or even weeks — where you have to shut it off and not think about the wedding. You’ll drive yourself nuts.
Post # 5
So sorry you’re having a hard time with the planning. I never can understand why people think it is there place to be rude and nasty!
Most employees at pawn shops get a commission when they sell something. If this had happened to me I would have said something like “I’m not pregnant if that is what you are implying! Please bring your manager over so I can speak with he/she and also I would like someone else help me with finding my wedding band.”
I tend to be very bitchy when it comes to people acting so dang rude! I always complain when I feel the service is bad.
Post # 6
I understand how you feel, but please just step back and take a deep breath. One bad experience does not set the tone for the rest of your wedding. Going into wedding planning, I thought I was the MOST indecisive person I know. I literally didn’t plan anything for months because I was so overwhelmed with how many options I had for literally everything. So what happened? One day, I decided I liked flowers, particularly vine-y looking flowers. What else happened? I started perusing my stationary, save the dates, decor, etc. and everything started falling into place. I saw vines ALL over the place, where I’d never seen them before simply because I hadn’t been looking. Pick something and run with it. Don’t worry about whether or not it’s perfect. If you love it, it’s perfect for you and everything will fall into place beautifully. I thought wedding decisions would be the hardest decisions I’ve ever made. Turns out they’re some of the easiest. Good luck.
Post # 7
First things first. The rings don’t need to be purchased right now. Perhaps you are looking at a long list of tasks and are getting too overwhelmed.
For the first few months, just focus on the big decidions: venue, food, photography, and music.
Seriously. Just think about having four tasks. Set a goal for each. I decided that we had to have our venue and catering picked one month, then a photographyer the next month, then the music figured out the next month.
The little things can be done along the way, but you don’t have to be overwhelmed.
Post # 8
Thank you both for your responses.
@Mrs. Guinness: Thanks for the hugs. 🙂 And I would say, “You know what, you’re right. I’ll put the planning on hold for a while,” but I really shouldn’t. The planning has been on hold for too long as it is… I just don’t know how you ladies are doing it! Making decisions about colors and themes and sticking to it. I second guess EVERYTHING! I suppose that’s one of the reasons it’s so overwhelming to me. People treating me like crap just isn’t helping.
@blu77: Thanks also, and I completely understand that 10k might not be as readily available. I wish I could have taken a picture of this place for you though, there had to have been at least one 10k white gold band in there. The store was full of jewelry. Not nice and spaced out like a chain jewelry store, it was literally chuck-full of jewelry. This jerkface just didn’t want to have to look for it, I’m sure. Also, thanks for the suggestion of looking online, I hadn’t really thought about it.
Post # 9
Use the internet and bypass all the people you can!
Weddings are stressful unfortunatley as we don’t have any experience in planning social events or parties often so everythign negative is magnified and we become overly emotional and also self conscious.
It will turn out all right!!
Post # 10
Definitely agree with @Eva Peron:, use the internet as much as possible. Also, I did a lot of research before I even chatted with a vendor – weddingbee reviews, weddingwire reviews, yelp, etc. If someone had poor reviews, I didn’t even bother. Weeds out a lot of the unpleasantness!
Don’t worry, I (and I think many of the ladies here) felt like you feel now, at one point or another. Break the tasks down by month, take a little bit at a time, and you can totally do this. Good luck!
Post # 11
@nhanvey: Haha! I wish I had the guts. After all was said and done, I looked at her in the eyes, said, “Nevermind, we’re leaving,” and walked out the door. I did immediately write a review on google about the store as soon as I get into the car.
@kappasweetiepie: Oh, how I wish this was the first bad experience I’ve had. I just don’t know what it is about the area I live in, it’s like people don’t want my money. I’ve written about it here and here. Thank you so much for the advice, however, I really do need it. I have a general color scheme I like, but I just need to put my foot down and say, “This is it.”
@Jeannine @ Small Chic: The only reason we went to look at wedding bands, is because I know exactly what I want and I thought I could cross it off my list. Haha For real. It’s supposed to be an easy purchase! One less things to worry about! Oh boy. As for the venue, catering, etc, I’m working on it…slowly… I need someone to make these decisions for me. :/
Post # 12
@Eva Peron: Yes. I am bound and determined to do exactly what you’ve said. The internet is going to become my best friend. And you are totally right- I’ve never planning a party like this before. Everything is magnified to the millionth degree.
@canuba: Thanks. I will take it month by month. That’s an excellent idea. Much better than my current method of winging it.
You ladies are the best. I was certain I was going to get comments telling me to get thicker skin or toughen up. Instead I got a bunch of support and advice. I truly appreciate it.
Post # 13
To be honest, it doesn’t sound like you want to have a wedding (I’m not saying that you don’t want to get married, just that maybe you don’t want to have a big traditional wedding). I don’t think it’s people being nasty to you. If it seems like everyone is being nasty to you, that’s probably not likely. The consistent factor is you, so there’s something going on with you, not everyone else.
So I think you should take some time to really think about whether or not you want to have a wedding and what TYPE of wedding. Would you rather have an intimate, destination wedding? Or even do a low-key, less stress, city hall wedding?
Big traditional weddings are not everyone’s bag. If you’re finding it too stressful to do one, I’d suggest that you reconsider HOW you’re getting married. You don’t want to start off your marriage totally crazed and stressed out. And your fiancee will thank you for it.
Post # 14
@leann324: I have thought a lot about this recently. I immediately resorted to thinking that I can’t be encountering such awful people, I must be projecting something onto them that makes them react in the way they do. So the soul searching started… And I’ve come to a conclusion- I don’t want a huge fancy wedding. I want a small, intimate ceremony and then a nice dinner with a few drinks afterwards. Which is what we have been planning all along. So I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I asked my Fiance last night if I had done something offensive or if I came across as rude to the woman and he assured me that I hadn’t. I really just don’t get it.
You’re right though, Leann. Maybe I need to think about it a little more. Maybe I really don’t want any kind of wedding at all. Eloping might really be the way to go for us.
Post # 15
I’m glad you didn’t take offense to what I was saying and understood what I was saying.
If eloping works for you, then go for it. It’s so easy to get caught up in all the details, what you think you should do, what your friends and family expect, etc. No wonder it’s overwhelming! (And why I actually understand why perfectly normal women become Bridezillas).
Another option to consider if you want small and intimate would be a destination wedding. Places like Jamaica are super cheap and easy. And because they’re cheap, some couples are able to afford to fly out key family and friends. My friend got married there 2 years ago. She and her Fiance flew down a few days before. The resort handled ALL the details. They gave her 3 options for a cake, 3 options for flowers and a few other things. All she had to do was point and the details were taken care of for her.
The important thing to remember while you go through this process is WHY you’re doing it. You’re doing it because you love each other and want to be married to each other. Nothing else matters. If something’s not perfect, or someone’s not happy about something, all those details don’t matter in the end. Good luck!
Post # 16
What a bitch! I probably would have told her off, but that is jus me and my personality (I tol the t-mobile guy he was being a douch one day, Fiance tried not to laugh his butt off).
But, I wouldn’t worry too much about it because people are just dumb, and rude. It doesn’t mean you can’t plan the wedding, it just means you may have to deal with stupid people…
It will get better, I promise 🙂