I can't seem to keep it to myself…

posted 3 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
Member
3989 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I guess it’s easier with a loss in your back pocket to know to wait.  I didn’t tell my boss until 20 weeks, just to be on the safest side possible.  I didn’t tell Facebook until 14 weeks.

While it’s normal to be excited, just know that people don’t tell until 12 weeks for a reason.  Unfortunately, sometimes things don’t work out for the best and you don’t want to be in a position to have to announce that to everyone.

Congratulations and best wishes!

Post # 4
Member
5697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I guess it’s really up to each individual, there’s no RULE that says “thou shalt not tell porior to 12 weeks”. It’s all dependenton personal comfort level. And as Kate said, it also depends on if you’ve had a loss or not to some people.

I have not had a loss. We told immediate family and i told my best friend’s right when I found out, about 5.5 weeks. We told relatives and a few other friend’s after our 8.5 week scan. We told facebook on Christmas at 15 weeks, and I told my boss the week after. 

I never would have told anyone at work that early, especialy my boss but that’s my personal feeling.

Post # 5
Member
3119 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

It’s fine to share early, as long as you’re sharing with people you’re also 100% sure you want to explain and have their involvement to should the worst happen. 

That’s what helped me keep it to a minimum…knowing that if something went / goes wrong, every single person I blabbed to would also have to be told and I’d have to deal with their sympathy, questions, etc. I’m naturally a pretty private person about grief and loss, so that definitely helped me limit who I told. 

 

Post # 6
Member
446 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m 6-7 weeks along with our first. We’ve told my mom, DH’s immediate family, a handful of close friends, and one of my coworkers guessed so I spilled the beans to her. I think we’ll do a FB announcement (maybe, still on the fence) at 12 weeks.

I’ve never had a loss, but even if this doesn’t end well, I want to be happy and celebrate it now. It’s a personal choice but I’m so glad we’ve told a few folks. It’s nice knowing there’s some people who already love the little bean and are praying hard for it. I’d just keep it to those you’d want supporting you if the worst happens! 

Post # 7
Member
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I know it’s hard to keep it a secret! By 11 weeks I was bursting to share the news with the world so we told FB friends then. Family and close friends knew around 8 weeks. My boss is my dad so that wasn’t an issue. I would just caution you to only share your news with people you would want as a support system in the event things didn’t work out.

Congratulations! It’s such an exciting time!!! 🙂

Post # 8
Member
3718 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

We told our moms and my BFF within a day or two of finding out. We waiting until after the first appointment (which was about 6 weeks) to tell DH’s brothers and a few other close friends. After our 10w3d appointment, we weren’t keeping it secret anymore, but weren’t shouting it from the rooftops either. I told my boss at about 11 weeks.

I have had a loss. I told people as I was confortable telling them if something bad happened again. At this point if somehitng bad happens, I will need time off of work (I’m 12w3d) and my boss would have ot be told anyway and my coworkers would wonder why I’m out (I”m a teacher).

So it depends on when you are comfortable and who would you  be ok with telling about a loss if it happens.

Post # 9
Member
5460 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

We only tell people we would want to have around us and support us if we were to lose the baby.  I don’t want to tell anyone that I wouldn’t want to “un” tell.

Post # 10
Member
435 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@Reign14:  I have never been pregnant, but when the time comes I really doubt I will be able to keep quiet for long. 

Also, I think it would be easier If you found out later in the pregnancy….Example: getting a positive test week 1 versus week 9…

Congrats!

Post # 12
Member
1436 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m with the others, only tell the people you’d be okay sharing with the news of any loss. 

 

I’m like you, I told lots of people. I’m also an open person and don’t hide things very well, so lots of people knew very early on.

Post # 13
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Reign14:  We only told our parents, siblings, and my boss for the first 12 weeks. Neither of us even told friends. We just figured if something would happen (and we were prepared if something would since my mom had a history of MC) we would only want to share that with each other and our parents/sibs.

There is no rule about not saying anything before 12 weeks. I know plenty of women who have even announced on FB. While I don’t advise it, as long as you and DH are in agreement over who to tell then you can tell whoever you want. It’s  ahard secret to keep, but I would rather keep a secret than to have to tell a bunch of people what happened if I were to MC.

Post # 14
Member
6067 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

I know how you feel. This is my first pregnancy, and I just keep wanting to shout it from the rooftops, and share my joy.

There are some cousins and Aunts that I am very very close to and it is almost excrutiating to speak with them and not tell them!

The ladies here all have a good point- don’t tell people that you wouldn’t want to give explanations to in case, knock on wood, anything were to happen.

 

Post # 15
Member
671 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I am the same way.  I’ve wanted to tell everyone.  I haven’t been feeling well at work so I had to tell our HR person.  I also had to tell my boss at the gym I teach because she wanted me to teach another class, and I really can’t.  I’ve really wanted to tell like everyone, but I have been holding back.

Post # 16
Member
3259 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Reign14:  I’m about six weeks and having a REALLY hard time, too! I read that you should be comfortable telling those who you know you can trust to keep the secret AND who you would tell if you had a miscarriage. So if those are people who fall into that category, then I think you haven’t done anything that you will regret!

As for my situation, DH and I have been relying on bubbling to each other with the excitement for now- lol. We have only told my parents, as we are really close with them and they live up the road. We are planning to tell his parents when we fly out to see them later this month. Until they know, mum’s the word for anyone else. 

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