Post # 1
Sorry, I need to vent…
So I’ll just get straight to the point, people tend to hate me without even knowing me and it really puzzles me and bothers me. I know it shouldn’t bug me, because I don’t know them either, but it’s not a good feeling being disliked, especially for no reason.
I don’t get it. I smile and act extremely polite every time I’m around people. I don’t go looking for drama, I sit at home watching Netflix most of the time, or I’m out volunteering. It just really irks me, does anyone else have this issue?
I talked to my husband about it, because once upon a time he admitted to thinking I’d be a “mean girl” when he first met me, only to find out that I’m not. He’s not the only person close to me who has told me this. He said it’s because I’m pretty, and people for whatever reason automatically assume that very pretty girls are also nasty and/or petty. Which he also admitted is wrong and that he was foolish to think that. Thing is, I don’t think I’m very pretty, either, in fact, most of these people deciding to dislike me are far prettier than I am.
It’s just really upsetting, I know it’s kind of silly, and maybe it’s just because I’m really tired but I’m crying over it. How do you deal with this sort of thing?
Post # 3
🙁 I don’t have much advice other than… if they judge me before they know me, I judge them for that. Seriously. Not worth it. If they want to hate you for no reason, they aren’t worth it
Post # 4
@loving_life: Thanks. <3 I need to screw my head on straight, this shouldn’t bug me so much…
Post # 5
@imageeksowhat: I feel like I could have written your post. All of it.
Because I have had people seem to just dislike me for no apparent reason on so many occasions, I’m pretty shy, and always polite. I have been told I look like I’m always angry/frowning, and that’s probably why… I find it pretty hard to change the habit when I’ve had people be nasty to me and belittle me for absolutely no reason.
I totally understand how hard it is not to let it bother you. We can only try 🙂 And I’m sure you’re very pretty, us ladies never give ourselves the credit we deserve!
Post # 6
@imageeksowhat: i feel you! with me all of my boss’s dislike me i dont understand that caz im the only one that listens to what they say ; ( and people dislike me for no reason too. i dont know why and it use to really bug me and make me cry and very sad. now i just dont care ; ) i pay attention to the people that do like me and brush off the ones that dont. now i notice that i don’t care they try to get to know me.
Post # 7
I feel you. I’ve always wondered the same thing myself but have never really brought it up to anyone in order to avoid sounding so conceited. But I can’t put it on anything else! I mean, I too keep to myself a lot but when I interact with others, I’m always polite with a smile. I had a friend tell me once, “When I first saw you walk into the classroom, I thought you were going to be a total B but you turned out to be so cool!” I guess when I’m not smiling, I look angry? But c’mon, who walks around smiling from ear to ear all the time. This is one of the reasons I avoid girls because one little facial expression can be misconstrued for something else.
Post # 8
Well I guess everyone has opinions on other people without really knowing them. For me, people don’t take me seriously, I’m 24 years old and somethings people will be like: “how old are you?16?”
And they of course can’t see me as a responsible adult, as they see me as a teenager or somethings, when I’m really responsible and solid personality person.
I think your situation is worse then mine since may prevent you from making friends, but I think you shouldn’t worry too much about it, since you say you act normal and nice, because if people don’t take the time to really get to know you and see the person you really are, then you should do the same. You have people in you life that know the real you, so stick with them 🙂
I’m sure you’re nice, just give the people some time, and forget that first impression.
Post # 9
I totally understand how you feel and I am truly sorry you are experience this kind of pain. I can only chalk it up as people get jealous when they see a person who is attractive and sure of herself. It makes people uncomfortable because they arent that way and want tear you down.
Post # 10
@imageeksowhat: Are you me?
I have a slightly different problem though. I don’t get the mean girl thing, people just think I’m “weird.” I’m similar though in that I try to smile and be polite and kind always, and help people, and don’t go out that much. People just seem to be mean to me because I’m “odd” or something. It’s gotten a little better as I’ve gotten older and better at acting “normal,” whatever that means, but I still sense it plenty of situations or hear it outright from people.
Post # 11
You are not weird I’m sure.
It’s just…some people get intimidated easily. And maybe you’ve encountered those kinds of people in your life recently. Whatever. I know it is hard but stop caring. And think about what makes you YOU. Would you want to change that?
I don’t think so.
Just surround yourself with people who love you for who you are. Life is short and we cannot waste it worrying what other random people think about us.
We need it to enjoy. OUR WAY 🙂
Post # 12
@starsr: Thanks. I guess this is pretty common. Which is sad. Yeah, I’ve been told it’s because I’m pretty but also because of the way I carry myself? I don’t know how I carry myself, I feel pretty awkward to be honest…
@lsimpson: Aww, I’m sorry. That would be annoying, too, not being taken seriously. 🙁
@Bebealways: People think I’m weird, too, but I actually am so I get that they would think this, haha. I’m sorry it causes you stress, though.
You guys are so right, I really shouldn’t let it bother me. But we gotta band together and not make snap judgements about OTHER people, too. If everyone makes a resolution to do this, the world would work so much more smoothly…
Post # 13
@imageeksowhat: I’m so sorry. I can completely relate to what you’re going though. It’s happened to me numerous times-especially when I was in high school. At this point in my life, I just surround myself with people that care and love me for who I am. Don’t worry about those idiots! They are not worth your time or effort.
and btw I came across your wedding recap too-we shared the same photographer (I had them for my engagement session). I actually remember when FCI posted photos of your wedding on their facebook site. So to say you’re not pretty, you’re dead wrong. I thought you were gorgeous! 🙂
Post # 14
@ButterflyKisses13: Aww, thanks! I’ve struggled with body dysmorphia and disordered eating for a long time, so it’s hard for me to look in the mirror and say “you are beautiful.” I tend to always look at the negatives about myself and never the positives because I just can’t see any. But I’m still doing therapy, now going to hypnosis, even. I’m determined to somehow someday get my life back. I think I’ve been doing pretty well lately, eating healthy rather than basically starving myself for days or even weeks at a time…
Post # 15
Many many many people have told me that before they met me, they thought I’d be a bitch. I guess my regular face (as in…. not smiling, but just when walking down a hall alone kinda thing) looks like I’m angry?? Or Bitchy? I don’t know. All my sister’s friends in highschool said that, I made AWESOME friends at my old job that I hung out with ALL the time, it was a super close knit work environment and pretty much all of them said at first they thought I’d be super bitch. I guess it’s the same thing, unless I’m smiling, I look angry or bitchy. I’m also super shy with new people so I’m very quiet which doesn’t help.
It’s definitely frustrating, but it is what it is. Can’t change my face! Maybe it’s a similar situation for you? Who knows why we all get the first impressions we do… so many subconscious factors
Post # 16
I work hard to get along with people at work, but remembering details about their lives and listening. I spend my own time doing activities I love and at least I have that in common with people I meet in those circumstances. I think finding common ground is key.
I do believe that once I and my peers got a little older, everyone stopped being snap-judgemental and giving a rip about what other people think of them.