Post # 1
I’m starting to feel a bit wedding crazy. I’m pretty new to Weddingbee so a little backstory on my situation first: I’ve only been with my SO for about 6 months, but he’s the one. I’ve known since our 3rd date and haven’t doubted it once since then. We haven’t officially talked weddings or timelines, but we have mentioned it in passing. When weddings come up on tv or something he’ll mention “our wedding” and our future kids have come up in conversation. We plan on moving in together when my lease is up this spring and everything in our relationship is moving forward at a pace I’m happy with. I’m not really itching for a proposal anytime soon because I know it’s too early for us and it will come when it’s right.
The problem…I have our entire wedding planned in my head (and the secret folder on my computer). I’ve always been a planner, to-do lists and such, so this isn’t really a shock. But now I’m addicted to wedding blogs, sites, and tv shows. I’ve picked out colors, flowers, dress styles, bridesmaids, and have a bunch of DIY plans. Today I hit a low, and started looking online at venues. I found the perfect perfect place…right location, low price, great reviews, and it looks exactly like I always pictured in my head. On one hand I know that having ideas at hand will make things less stressful than starting from scratch once I get the ring. Still I feel like I’m taking it too far having actual vendors in mind.
I don’t really talk about this secret planning with anyone. Most of my girlfriends aren’t thinking marriage or haven’t found the one yet, so I don’t think they’ll be able to relate. Have any of you started planning way early? Or is there a good way to squash the planning bug? I figured if anyone could relate it would be the ladies here 🙂
Post # 3
@Kit_Kath: I have been planning long before I met SO lol but now that I’ve been with SO for almost 2 and a half years and we’re talking about being engaged soon, I’ve started acting on the planning bug lol I’m almost finished sewing my veil (a veil that I bought in HS… about 10 years ago, and have modified to fit my taste since then) I’ve got a list of gowns I can’t wait to try on. I don’t try to squash the planning bug, I embrace it lol but I try not to show SO lol
Post # 4
@Kit_Kath: Honestly, I think everyone is different. Planning just would not work for me, because I would just become too obsessive with it and I think I would be too anxious to keep it a secret from my bf–feeling the need to tell him everything! But hey, if it works for you and doesn’t make you crazy or affect your relationship, what’s the harm?
Post # 5
Just make sure your no ignoring what he wants for the wedding. I think working an idea book is a good idea but keep things flexible… they will change.
Post # 6
I’ve got a bunch of wedding stuff pinned on pinterest, and I was afraid to tell my SO about it at first because although we’re planning on getting married in a few years, we won’t be engaged for another year and it just seems… weird. I’m a planner, too, and the thought of going into wedding planning cold frightens me. But then I told him, and he was actually interested in some of the stuff. He told he didn’t care if I kept looking at wedding stuff, just to not go too crazy. I know my situation is different than yours in that I do have a timeline and have already lived with my SO (we’re in an LDR for the rest of the year), I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. If you already have some ideas and know what you like, he’ll probably he happier there will be less stress for you when you actually need to start planning.
Post # 7
@Kit_Kath: I think planning and even “obsessive planning” is…normal, really. I look at stuff online (pinterest, yay!) just to give myself time to get an idea of what I like and what’s out there…without the stress of a looming wedding date. Like PP have mentioned, your tastes likely will change throughout time, and that’s okay. I have phases where I am wedding CRAZY…and then I go through a phase where I’m kind of, “meh” about it all. Again, that’s just normal. Just don’t actually start dropping money on a venue…then that might become a problem. hehe.
Post # 8
It’s never to early to start getting an idea about what you might like, I’ve just found now that I’m actually planning our wedding things have changed. Like I wanted to have a black and white with a soft green accent as the colour scheme. I told him about this and he didn’t agree, so we changed it. I wanted a square cut stone for my emgagment ring, but when I tried them on I chose a round stone. I wanted a peony and white rose blend boquet…you cant get a peony boquet in September here.
All I’m saying is it’s good to think about ideas but you might find you’ll surprise yourself with your choices when your really getting down to serious planning. You just have to decide if your doing your wedding planning as a fun little side project. I’m sure that’s not going to hurt, or you might find as I did some of it was a waste of time. My best ideas for the wedding have been things I’ve come up with on the fly.
Again there’s nothing wrong with getting a few ideas in mind 🙂 have fun!
Post # 9
@Kit_Kath: My SO and I have an extremely vague timeline, but I have been planning for about a year now. I’m not really sure how it started but he’s always kind of known. He’s actually become more and more involved as time has gone on. We’ve been to a bridal show together and actually looked at some venues and picked one out. As long as your SO realizes that you planning your big day isn’t pressure for him to put a ring on it, I don’t see a thing wrong with brining him in on the secret.
Post # 10
Thanks, I am feeling a bit more normal after reading this. I wouldn’t purchase any thing or actually contact vendors until I have a date set, so I guess my little hobby isn’t hurting anyone 🙂
@Papillon23: You’re right for sure about having phases. Right now I’m slow at work and the extra free time has let me get carried away.
@MissComicBook: I’ll let my SO in on the secret eventually, but I think I’ll wait just a bit 🙂 He’s already seen my netflix queue full of Say Yes to the Dress, Bridzillas, and just about every other wedding show they have, so I don’t think he’ll be too thrown by it hehe.
Post # 11
I know how this feels – I am a big planner too!! But the wedding in my head has changed SO much over the last 4 years that I think until we are officially engaged I need to keep it a little bit under control 🙂
Post # 12
Lol, nothing wrong with planning and throwing ideas around! Even if you won’t be getting married for a few years, your knowledge can help those getting married soon.
Some people (on another board that shall remain nameless) think it is the end of the world if you plan before you are engaged. I say fooey to that 😉
Post # 13
Long story short: NO! We all do it! Plan away!
Long story: I am in almost your exact situation. SO and I have only been dating for 6 months, but we are so sure we actually started the ring shopping process this Valentine’s Day and are already living together.
We’ve picked a wedding date together, which was actually pretty easy because I’ve always known I wanted a 3 day weekend wedding, preferably Memorial Day because it’s the weekend both my grandparents and parents got married on. But, SO’s bday is May 24, so he nixed having it then (which I totally understand – I’m Nov. 28 and if he had wanted a Thanksgiving wedding I would have nipped that in the bud). That left Labor day and in 2013 the Sunday falls on my dad’s b-day so that led us straight to 2014. Decision made. Once that was done – all bets were OFF! I’m in full-on, detail oriented, spend hours and hours a day pinning/google-ing/weddingbee-ing planning mode.
I am DEFINITELY a planner – I’m going to be graduating from school with an emphasis in event administration and currently work as an event coordinator at a popular venue. Coming from the business side of things, you can NEVER plan too much for your wedding. The only thing most vendors hate is being bombarded with questions from girls who are just daydreaming. If you have the guy, and you have a date, plan to your heart’s content.
Thankfully, SO knows this is what I hope to do for a career, so he’s a little more sympathetic to my questions (what about this reading for the ceremony? a dessert bar? what kind of band? a DJ too? etc…etc…etc..). Tonight though he finally asked for a break, which is why I am SOOOOOOO glad I have Weddingbee, because I’ve just been sitting quietly on the couch surfing away making my lists, and he’s very content re-watching Jurrasic Park for the 100 millionth time.
Post # 14
You’re preaching to the choir, haha. I’ve had vague ideas about my wedding for years, but since I started dating my SO, I’ve been going a little nuts. We’ve been dating for almost two years, and last week we looked at rings [he’s going this week to make a down payment!!], so I DO have a timeline…but I bought my dress before that, haha. I’ve always known he was the one, and we frequently talk wedding things. I include him in some things, but others I keep a secret [like the fact that I’ve already started our wedding website-shhhhh]. I think we all do it. When you know, you know.
Post # 15
@Mrs. Bear Cheese Pie: “When you know, you know.” <
Post # 16
Guilty, too! I started casually looking up things about a year ago, when we moved in together and started talking marriage seriously. I would look up things for a few weeks then stop for a few months, then go back to it. Recently, however, I’ve gone a little overboard. I have picked my date (11/11/12) and have picked out most all my vendors including my venue. (fingers crossed nobody books it before I can! I think it’ll be okay because Sunday weddings arent common here) I have a lot of anxiety about a wedding.. I do NOT like being the center of attention.. so knowing what I’m going to do has really helped.
We looked at rings in person earlier this week (we have been looking online for a few months), he told both his parents he is going to ask me (huge step for him) I think he will be asking in the next month or so, which gives me plenty of time to plan a simple but classy wedding (which is what I want.) He has told me we will for sure be engaged by May and has also agreed on our wedding date, so I know I’m not totally crazy right now. My mom and sister still think I’m nuts though, planning a wedding when I don’t even have a ring..(They keep singing Beyonce “single ladies” to me) But honestly, I really want to get married in 2012 (my lucky numbers are 11 & 12) and I know it’s REALLY silly but I hate the number 3 and especially the number 13….so yeah =) Plus..this close to the date, the venue I want gives serious discounts!