I can't take anymore!

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
9394 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@orchidaloha:  Oh, wow!  She sounds like a total nut case and also very jealous of you.  Yikes, you poor thing.  Are you looking for another job?

Post # 4
2555 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@orchidaloha:  I would schedule a meeting with your CEO. If it is a small enough office that she reports directly to him, you have the right to contact him about this harassment. Explain that you have been harassed and scrutinized for non work issues, and you have felt bullied by your boss. Explain that if the situation is not rectified, you will be seeking legal councel. Why your boss cares about what car(s) you drive, or feels the need to slut shame you is absolutely beyond me. If you feel you can’t talk to your CEO, confront your boss yourself (schedule a meeting first) and lay down the law. Explain to her that if she cannot stop her harrassment, you will be bringing your issues to her boss.

Post # 6
2197 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’m so appalled that people like this work in HR.  Umm, you DO know that HR is all about working well with people right?  This woman might need a new career path….

Post # 9
3735 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@orchidaloha:  Who’s your Ethics Officer? Do you have an ethics hotline? If you can’t talk to HR or her boss, the Pres or CEO, what’s your recourse? Does the company have a process to adjudicate these matters when there’s an obvious conflict of interest such as a complaint against HR by a direct report? Most companies have a procedure, hotline or Ethics Officer to handle things.

Can you get a friend to ask the question?

Post # 10
484 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@orchidaloha:  Is this something you can just “get over” or “ignore”? I get the car thing, I acutally have the same problem, but if someone comments I just say “yeah I got lucky my FI works in the car industry”. If she comments on your dates why justify a response? I get she is difficult, and bitchy, and rude, but you can choose to ignore it and not let it bother you

Post # 12
3735 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@orchidaloha:  Maybe you want to think about polishing up your resume if this is bothering you so much because it sounds like you won’t have much support in this area. I’m sorry you are going through this.

I get the car thing and I used to feel bad about it but now I just smile and go on. It’s just a damn car people. Don’t you let her get upset by the vehicle you drive – she’s so damn petty. Every workplace has a busy body and sadly, you work for her. Ack!

Post # 13
1015 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@orchidaloha:  Ugh! I’m sorry, that must be so frustrating. She truly does sound jealous beyond belief! Just keep your head up and ignore it, I’m sure that drives her crazier than any other response you could have!

Post # 15
11379 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@orchidaloha:  wow, and she’s the hr manager????  so unprofessional.  if there really isn’t anyone else that you can speak to, i would speak to her directly.  i have never been afraid or uncomfortable with being direct with a person who is causing grief (even if it is my boss). 

set up a private meeting with her; think about what you want to say ahead of time.  start with some positive comments about working there.  confirm her actions/words and express how that makes you feel.  tell her that you would never speak to your colleagues in this manner because you respect them and your work place.  perhaps ask her if there is a problem with the fact that you drive a nice car?  ask her why she feels the need to make snarky comments regarding your lunch dates?  in a round about way, what is her problem with you?  keep in mind that your non-verbal ques are important too (body language, tone of voice, facial expression).  if presented properly, positively and professionally, you should have success.  hopefully she is receptive.

i’ve had similar discussions with a boss and an employee.  once the air was cleared, we never had further issues and the respect was maintained.  just don’t leave it too long.  it will start to fester and that makes it worse.

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