Weddingbee boards

This happened two years ago but I still thought it was worth telling.

FI(then BF) used to have a roommate who we'll call Megan. Megan and I really hit it off when we met. It wasn't the ideal situation but... was what it was. 

I bought my FI(then BF) an iPhone for his birthday that year. And his phone had a habit of pocket dialing the last person he spoke to. Since we spoke on the phone all the time, the person it called was often me.

Christmas time rolls around and I beg FI to get a Christmas tree. Megan didn't want to be bothered with getting a tree. However, when FI and I went to get the tree, Megan insisted she tag along since the apartment was half hers. We went looking for the tree and it was the Megan show. I was bummed because she didn't even WANT the tree. She was just there because of the principle of the matter. But we end up getting the tree SHE wanted and picking the colors SHE liked. I was pissed... But I didn't say anything because it wasn't my place. It's her house too. Gotta suck it up. I was irrationally irritated, not stupid enough to make a deal about it.

Christmas time came and went. This is the world's longest story to tell so I'm really trying to condense it. 

A few weeks later, my voicemail box was full so I decided to check my voicemails. I happen to be one of those super irritating people who never listen to their voice messages. So i was deleting most of them without even listening to the message. But whenever I heard a message from FI, I would stop and listen.  One of the messages was odd. It was clearly a pocket dial. I was just about to press the delete button when I heard it. Megan's voice. I immediately recognize her sickeningly over-flirtatious twang.

Automatically I was on edge and listening to every word. Call me jealous. Whatever. I couldn't hear much but this is pretty much what I could make out:

(Megan and FI giggling. Keys rustling. Sounds like they just entered the apartment)

Megan: "I hate that tree"

FI: "Me too"

(More rustling. Then you hear the squeezing sound people make when giving someone else a big hug)

FI: "hi"
Megan: "hi"

(more giggling like some lovesick schoolchildren)

Megan: "Let's go to the bedroom!"

(Now we hear sounds of more giggling and what I guess are walking sounds. I assume they reach the bedroom.)

FI: "Who said you could lay on my bed?"
Megan: "I did."
FI: "Good idea!"

(The next few seconds were hard to understand. At some point her cat enters the room and I assume the cat starts rubbing on Megan or wanting attention by what happens next. Let's call the cat Coco)

FI: "Coco, stop flirting with my girlfriend! You can't have her, she's mine!"

(At this point they proceed to do more talking that I can't quite make out. I can just hear a few words and
her annoying laugh. She seriously has the most annoying voice in the world)

End of call.

I am heartbroken. And livid. I could not believe he would do that to me. I call him up immediately and scream "Have you ever in life called Megan your girlfriend?!!!!!!" He says no. I hang up. I  listen to the message over and over and over. I listen to it with my left ear. I listen to it with my right ear. I listen to it on speaker. I listen to it at high volume. I listen to it at low volume. They all confirm the same thing. FI sucks.

I try and see if there is any way I could be overreacting. No... She was on his BED. She was clearly coming on to him. And he LET her. I was sick to my stomach over it. I wouldn't let myself cry. He wasn't worth it. I wanted to punch him and throw him in traffic and ask him WHY all at the same time.

I called him to end it.

He told me what all guys say. He didn't know what I was talking about. I was paranoid. He loved me. He'd never hurt me.

I told him I had proof. I told him that I knew Megan was on his bed. I knew he flirted with her. I knew he called her his girlfriend. I told him he pocket dialed me and I had it all on tape. He said that if he could listen to the message he could explain it. Of course he could. Typical. I told him that what hurt the most was that I thought he was at least man enough to own up to it.

I hung up on him again. And then I got pissed. My FI is a very busy man and some weeks WE barely have time to see each other. When did he have time to have romantic interludes with this girl??! I listened to the time on the message. 1:50 pm. Where the eff was I at 1:50 this day??! I check my texts to see what excuse he gave me as to where he was at this time. I only had 2 texts from him that day. One at 12:33 pm and another at 11:58 pm. Wtf? He's with this girl all day and only texts me TWICE? I begin to read the messages. The 12:33 message reads "I'm outside" and the 11:58 message reads "Goodnight". Wait... What? It almost sounds like we were together that day! But that can't be!  I begin to think REALLY hard about it. I worked from 6 am to noon on the day in question. FI picked me up from work on the day in question. I think even harder. Megan was on a cruise to the Bahamas on the day in question. Which means.... Oh sh*t.

The girl with the annoying voice was me. :(

He pocket dialed me WHILE he was with me.

I was the one who hated the Christmas tree.

I was the one giggling like a school girl.

And I was the one who had to make the worlds most embarrassing call explaining the whole situation to FI. :(

He's so great. He laughed and said he knew it would work itself out because nothing like that had ever happened. He was annoyed by it but really was good natured. However, to this day he still jokes about the day he cheated on me with... me. Lol.

I keep inventing new ways to humiliate myself. :)

So... Has anyone else ever made a supreme ass of themselves in front of their FI? Please share stories!! I'm having surgery tomorrow and I'm nervous so hopefully someone will post some funny ones to help calm my nerves :)

HAHA! OMG! You almost had me in tears...I can't even explain to you how big the lump in my throat was...I was sooooo sad for you! I've made a fool out of myself countless times. Thankfully we both have forgiving FIs with a good sense of humor ;)

wow! thats crazy....you did a good job of building that up tho! I never would have guessed! Congrats on your engagement:)

for christmas, i got my husband a photo personalized mug for his tea to take to work. well, one day it came up missing. he kept asking me where it was! i was so mad at him for losing it, i actually threw his tea bags away! well, a few days later at work i happen to open the cabinet under the coffee pot and there is the stinkin' mug! i felt like such a donkey's butt, but he laughed and made me buy him more tea bags!

Oh my god - that's hilarious.  Thank you so much for sharing that!

Good luck on with your surgery!

Lol, I'm glad to finally share this with someone. I made FI swear to never speak a word about it in real life. He wants to include it in our toast. Lol.

@MissTX: I think it's mostly because in my head I have a deep, sarcastic voice... Like Juno. But in reality I sound more like Vanessa Hudgens. It's annoying. And embarrassing. I was not meant to have these pipsqueak vocal cords. I have dissociated myself from it entirely. Every time I hear myself speak I have a "Omg that is NOT me" moment. And it was so hard when they lived together but we made it through. He lived there before me and left FOR me so what more can I ask :)

@sexxysheddy: You are so sweet :) It's nothing serious, just oral surgery. It's complicated to explain but no hospital stay :) That story was super cute. Haha, he knows you so well!

@creativeplannertobee- LMAO!!!! That is horrible! I would have to move and change my name. Lol, that babysitter had to be so uncomfortable!

@anglang- That sounds like something I would do! :) lol, I'm glad you found it though!

OMG I loved this story and sounds sooooo much like me!!!! HAHAHAH thanks for the laughs :) I kept reading thinking how is this person still her fiance! So glad the story ended the way it did.

@jayebaby:  Great story!  The whole time I was "Now FI?!  Why in the hell is she still with him???"   And you're so lucky he wasn't mad - I'm pretty sure my FI would be pissed!