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you have one big advantage here - he did not choose the ring for you, and it was not a surprise. so you wouldn't have to worry about hurting his feelings over his choice.
so, what's the issue? is it about money or sentimentality?
if it has to do with sentimentality, I suggest maybe keeping the center stone, and trying to exchange or sell just the setting for a new one. maybe make up a white lie and say you think the setting is uncomfortable or majorly inconvenient and it's driving you nuts (like, it's so high that it catches on everything). I know it's not cool to lie, but white lies can help buffer hurt feelings.
so, in regards to money: my jewelry store offers an upgrade program, but you have to upgrade to something that is 2x the value of the original. what if you were to try to exchange your diamond setting for a plain setting, and then put the extra money towards a really great wedding band -- like an eternity band or something?
by the way, I love your ring. I think it's perfect and very classic!
I recently used my same stones and changed my setting and my FI was like WOW that looks so much better than before! My center stone is a .78 ct and we added a flush halo and it really makes your diamond appear much larger, my halo is so flush you actually cant even tell i really have one unless you're up close. Maybe look at doing a different setting that enhances the diamond you have?
I could have written your story. Picked out the setting, but felt kind of rushed to do so. Overly thought things over and picked out something "safe" and "classic" vs something I really loved. I guess you can say I picked it out with my head over my heart!
I didn't even bring up changing it until after we were married. DH knows I've never been crazy about it and it OK with me changing it now. I don't think he would have been as receptive if I were to have mentioned it right after getting it.
However, only you know your FI and if he would be OK doing this financially. I know mine would not have been.
I chose my ering too. It has a .75ct. center stone as well. My ring size is 6.5. I loved it when I selected it but once I got to work and noticed other people's huge rocks and then found WB and started readng all the threads I started to second guess my own decision. I even walked into jewelry stores looking at other rings. Some may think that was dumb of me but as I continued to look I found nothing I liked as much. Larger stones, certainly. But design, no. Also, I scrape my ering constantly so a larger stone wouldn't be practical for me, anyway. I finally came to the decision that my ering that I chose is what is best for me. Others may not be impressed with the size of the stone, or the design, or whatever. My initial choice was the right choice. Hopefully over time, you will have a similar experience. If not, like pp stated. You chose it. Just tell your FI you may have changed your mind and go ring shopping again.
have you looked at any bands yet? maybe you will love it more when you "complete" the set
I had a huge say in mine, and when I was told by FI to choose some rings I like, I was so excited, and rushed through it all. I went with my first instinct rather than really took my time. She had the final say in the end, but I could have given her some totally different options. It is a beautiful, classic, timeless ring that goes with anything, easy to match, etc. like yours is.
My second guessing my decisions is part of my nature though so no matter what, I probably would do it anyway. I often wonder if I shouldve got a smaller round diamond, instead of a larger cushion, or a more original/intricate design, etc. ESPECIALLY after viewing rings so much on the bee.
I think the WOW factor will amplify for me when I get my band, and maybe it will for you too. And at the end of the day the ring represents our engagement and that makes it super special and more beautiful. Hate to be cheesy and sentimental but it is true.
thinking your center stone looks too small now - this is what's referred to as DSS over at pricescope: diamond shrinking syndrome. supposedly a lot of people have this. it's common!
try a new setting, like many have suggested. i personally think, the simpler the better. side stones often take away from the center stone!
also, stop comparing with others. size is not everything! you should love your ring because it's what you love, not what others love!
Do you not like your ring of do you see other styles you have never seen before and it makes you want something else?
I designed my own ring and sometimes I see someone else's ring and my jaw drops and I can't help but think, "since I could have had anything I wanted, why didn't I pick that". But there is a reason you picked your ring and fell in love with it. Rings remind me a little like dress regret sometime.
Dress it up with a beautiful band or two and if in a couple of years you still don't like it, you can always upgrade.
@juliejaye: really good point! after one year, my ring - which I absolutely loved at first- started to look a little boring to me. but my wedding band added to it really makes it look beautiful, IMO.
let yourself search for a really long time for the perfect wedding band. and don't be afraid to buy, take home, and return a ring so you can look at it for a long time. but be sure you understand the return policy really well!
Fellow architect here...
I understand wanting everything to be perfectly designed, because that's what you do, and it should be right... beleive me when I say, you are putting TOO much pressure on yourself! Just a bit of experience I'd like to share.
In regards to your ring, it's beautiful. I agree that you should go try some bands on.. try one band, try two bands. Try solid bands, try sparkly bands. If you still don't love what you have on your hand... then look at other options.
Also keep in mind that trolling around on these boards will make you extremely ring envious. My set carat wise is decent (2.5), but my largest stone is a .60... and believe me, more than once I have looked at it and said "man, I wish it were bigger". Don't let what other people have on their hand influence your decision. It wasn't until i was talking to someone at work about how I wasn't sure that it was big enough, and when we had more money, I'd like to upgrade the center stone... and she said "I always thought your set was kinda blingy"... it made me feel better. My set is beautiful, and while it's not ginormous, it's lovely, looks nice on my finger & is something that my husband and I selected together.
Sure, someday I might get another band, or a bigger center stone, but I have learned to love and appreciate the ring on my hand, despite all of the AMAZING rings I have seen on this site.
In the end, you have to be happy with what you have. Try on some bands, really think about how you feel, take yourself out of the weddingbee ring board situation & then make a decision. If you want something else at the end of it all... get it!
Thanks ladies. I haven't figured what to do yet, but all the comments are really good. Keep anymore coming. Its kinda overwhelming this whole ring issue....
i think your ring is beautiful and timeless. maybe you're reading too much into other people's posts and feelings about their rings. i don't know anyone in real life that is pee in their pants crazy about their ring on a daily basis. it becomes a part of you and it's a part of you and what your FI picked out. enjoy it.
like Ella1978 said, once you distance yourself from the bee (or at least the ring portion), you might feel better about your ring. I didn't even have any doubts at all until I started looking at all the ring porn here!
I took a break from the bee and fell in love with my ring all over again. but these days I've been on WB a lot, and now thoughts of upgrading have started to creep back again. I need to take another break from here!
janie-janie <= <= THIS! my fiance-to-be and I designed a beautiful ring together (I have yet to actually get it!) and after looking and obsessing over rings here on WB... I started to doubt my choice. seriously take a break off of here, it really helped me! see how you feel after a few weeks of avoiding the ring boards. it helps put things back into perspective.
thanks ladies, im so confused still. I guess yea, need to think about it and not look at too many rings... My mother does have some diamonds she wants to give to me from my grandmother's ring so i may do something with those. I dont know, im just so confused and have even cried about this.
I really like the setting, but what's important is that you like it. if not, then if you can afford it and really want to change it, then do so.
it is a very meaningful piece of jewelry and you want to love what you have on your finger for the rest of your life. i would try to incorporate the diamonds from your mom. maybe hold off for a while until you get the diamonds from your mom and by then you might have a clearer idea of what you like?
when you try rings in stores, take photos! then you can mull it over at home instead of in the pressure of the store.
Maybe it's because you need to look at wedding bands that can go with your ering? Before switching it, I suggest shopping for wedding bands. You might just be wanting a little extra spice! ;)
I understand 100% how you feel. I did not like my original engagement ring after a while because it was too ""busy" for me and it was too hard to dress down. I eventually lost it because the jewelry store lost it in transit. So now I am about to chose a replacement and I too feel like I make safe choices because my FH likes them or it's the right thing to do. Be yourself and chose what you like because in the end it's your ring and you should be happy with it.
So is the issue about the center stone? If so, I can relate as I'm not usually a fan of rounds. I've even seen the ideal and H & A and I'm honestly no that impressed. I'm more into fancy and unique shapes. Like another posted said maybe you can trade up the stone and get something you really love.
If the stone is not the problem maybe you can find a setting that is nice and unqiue like you?
This is what I worry about. I'm picking out my own ring and I just can't decide what I like.
Throw a wedding band on there with yours and I bet you'll like it even more :)
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hi ladies,
Need to share a little, and ive been seriously upset over this...
I myself choose my e-ring, but now i just dont know if i like. I think that rationally it's a good choice, meaning its traditional and won't get outdated, is sparkly but not too much, is kinda modern but not simplistic, isn't too big but is still completely identifiable as an engament ring and is practical, works well with many wedding bands, was a decent price considering, etc etc etc, but it just doesn't do to me what other bees say their e-ring do to them, meaning "wow, OMG, earth shake, stop the press". I often thnk now that the center stone is actually too small for my ring size 6...
I guess there is just soooooo many designs and styles to choose from, so HOW DO YOU REALLY KNOW which one is right for you?? And I'm an architect so even more careful with design of things and I fear that ive gone the too safe route here. Plus when myself and my FI went together to choose, I just felt a little interfered/DISTRACTED to really choose, don't know, just got nervous and didn't think he would actually go the next day and buy it! I'm also not into jewerly at all. On the other hand, I was thinking about it for months before and had made up my mind that what i now have is what i wanted.
SO WHY, NOW THAT ITS ON MY FINGER, DONT I LOVEEEEEEEE IT??
anyone else feel the same? what to do?!
My FI is starting to sense this as well...
Here it is: round brilliant .75 diamond, with channel set round diamonds on either side, 18k white gold band. No idea on what the specs of the diamond are. Ring size 6.
Help!