Post # 1
I hate to make my first thread a vent. But, hi. And: sometimes I think people need to just learn to LURK if they are in a sub forum that doesn’t apply to them. I came to the AA forum to learn things about weddings, why does this sub forum need to be a learning corner for non-blacks who just knooooow our pain or feeeel so bad for our struggles? Every thread I’ve seen so far has at least a comment or two with the phrase: “I’m not AA but….” followed by an ignorant / ill-informed statement. Just lurk. Don’t talk. Unless you are marrying an AA…
Thanks for letting me get that out. The impetus for this was the thread about “nude” & the one about jumping the broom.
Post # 3
@shoobeedoowop: I guess I never saw it that way…I like to go to all categories because sometimes I can help or maybe what they say could help me. The bee is a great website so I hope that annoyance doesn’t derail you from loving this site!
Post # 4
@Payless… All I’m saying is that if there’s an area where “you” (not literal you) are not familiar with, just lurk and learn. A lot of times people seem to pipe in with uninformed comments that derail the intention of a post. I love that people are interested in other cultures… I try my best to learn about others as well, but it just gets annoying (to me). And might be the reason why this sub forum isn’t extremely active.
I am speaking as just one person, so other black women here may disagree.
Post # 5
@shoobeedoowop: It seems like none of the “culture” subgroups are particularly active. Probably because we’re all getting married/interested in weddings, and so the topics are more general. You cannot expect only one group of people to ever comment on a public thread, though. Stick around — you’ll see.
Also, if you see something offensive, you can always flag it or respond to it kindly explaining the problem. People most likely aren’t doing it on purpose.
Post # 6
@shoobeedoowop: somehow I knew this had something to do with my “nude” thread, lol. Welcome to the Bee, I guess?
Post # 7
I get that it is a public forum, but when comments made derail the point of the thread that’s a flag on the play. Like I said, this is one woman’s perspective, but I think forums offer the opportunity to learn as much as they offer the opportunity to share. And sometimes learning is a good thing.
Post # 8
Oh good grief. People are trying to be helpful, you don’t like it then how about you Just lurk. Don’t talk.?
Post # 9
@figgnewton: I get what she is saying and why she is mad. I am a dark skinned visible minority of mixed race and I have come across racism in my life and have come across a lot of white people who are sympathetic but cannot truly relate. It’s usually white people who will make the types of comments she is referring to and I don’t blame her for being irritated.
Post # 10
@shoobeedoowop: I just read the thread in question, and while some people’s responses reek of white privilege, I promise there is more to this website than just that! Stick around…you’ll be enraged by some (I PROMISE) but others are great.
Also go Philly!!!
Post # 11
@shoobeedoowop: I’m sorry people do that. People have white privilege and don’t even realize it. They think they can give advice/comment when they’ll never know how AAs feel (I’m not AA and all I know is I’ll never grasp how it feels to live in a racist society).
Sorry you have to come to a wedding board and deal with ignorance/crap. It sucks people don’t have to educate themselves because there’s no pressure to do so – society’s set up to benefit them.
I promise to lurk and learn!
Post # 12
The more we make this “White issues” and “Black issues” and “Hispanic issues” and “Oriental issues” the more people keep racism alive.
Post # 13
I think a lot of people just look at the main board and don’t pay much attention to which subforum it’s in, I know I usually don’t. You can always flag a post if you find it so incredibly offensive.
Post # 14
@shoobeedoowop: If you don’t like what is being said, then reply with your point of view. Internet forums are driven by people’s posts and comments. People will post when and what they want.
Post # 15
@Moonlight_Densetsu: so do you prefer white people not be sympathetic because they can’t truly relate?! Dear god you can’t win can you?!
Post # 16
I think those two threads are the exception, usually everyone’s just trying to be helpful. Usually lol