I did it-I kicked out my psycho husband-now what?! In Ontario

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

It sounds like you did the right thing, especially since there are children in the equation and he seems unstable and unpredictable.  As for what you do now… I’d see an attorney to find out what I could do to protect my assets since he hasn’t contributed financially to the marriage in quite some time.  I’d also ask what you could do in terms of changing the door locks.  I’m really not sure how that works if his name is also on the lease/mortgage/etc, but obviously, a lawyer would.

I’d get checked for STDs since he very well have been unfaithful.

Also, I’d get a home security system, because it sounds like you’re in a flat out panic over what he may do.  I wouldn’t take my chances.

Post # 4
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@fivemonthsnotice:  Oh my.  Several dealbreakers here:

1) He told your children to F off.

2) He told you to F off.

3) He received treatment but refuses to take his medication.  This is extremely irresponsible, but he knows that the worst can happen and he’s assuming that you’ll come fix whatever problems (financial, emotional, etc) that he gets himself into.  Selfish.

4) His history in his first marriage.  What is that quote, that the biggest predictor of the future is the past?  And that the definition of insanity is to continue doing things the same way and expect a different outcome.

5) Cheating.

You are absolutely doing the right thing getting rid of him.  You sound like such a compassionate person and you have done so much for him, but if he doesn’t want to change and get better, there’s nothing you can do.  Also, I know this must have been really hard for you, but I want to applaud you for ending the relationship, for your children’s sake.  You sound like an awesome mom to get them out of this toxic situation!  Some day they will thank you for being so strong.

Hang in there and try to be safe 🙂

Post # 6
470 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I’m sorry you’ve had to go through this. It sounds like you’ve done the right thing. 

Post # 7
5445 posts
Bee Keeper

I remember you posting about issues before your wedding and being very concerned for you. I’m sorry that I was right in my suspicions. I don’t have any legal advice but I hope you’re able to make a clean break and move on. Best of luck!

Post # 8
3222 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Where in Ontario do you live? If you’re in Toronto or Brampton, I can get you in touch with free legal advice at a family law court. 

I would also remove the details you have posted here and come up with a solid care plan for your children (ie – on Mondays through Fridays, I take them to school, my mother picks them up and stays with them until I come home from work, etc). 

Private message me if you need help, though I cannot provide legal advice outside of the courts/my supervising lawyer.

Post # 9
853 posts
Busy bee

@fivemonthsnotice:  oh, I’m so sorry for everything you have gone through! Realize that not every relationship is like this, you will have a loving relationship ship in the future again. And just take it day by day from now on. 

Post # 10
8818 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I’m so sorry you are going through all of this. I am glad that you are getting out and seeking help. I hope that this can all end quickly so you don’t have to suffer anymore.  Good luck!

Post # 11
11379 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@fivemonthsnotice:  i remember reading your last post a few months ago and even your posts before the wedding.  i am glad that you finally got rid of him.  he was not good for you or your children.

this gives you the opportunity to start fresh.  this will not be easy but it can be done.  take some time to think of your options.  set some goals and a plan to obtain those goals.

just remind yourself every day that you can do it.  you will do it.

i wish you well.

Post # 12
920 posts
Busy bee

fivemonthsnotice:  im pulling for you but you have got to have a stronger back bone this time around, no caving. “people can only do what you let them do”. I hope all of this works out especially with a child involved. 

Post # 14
41 posts
  • Wedding: August 2015

I don’t have any advice, but I just wanted to say that I am so, SO sorry to hear what you’re going through. I really hope you’ll be strong, for yourself and your children, and have faith that eventually, things are going to get better again. I know that internet support can do only so much, but please know that there are people that care about you and what you’ve been going through.

The only advice I can think of is to look for as much support as you can get.. join a self-help group, find a counselor (where I live some will work for free, especially in religious services), talk to your priest if you’re religious… anything to share the burden. I would also look out for your safety; change your locks if you have to, get a restraining order if there is any danger of him being violent towards you.

I send you a virtual hug and wish you the very best xoxo

Post # 15
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Church

fivemonthsnotice:  Please get your ass to a lawyer’s office because he can fight you on this. Get yourself a peace bond against this guy, if he is dangerous (this is something where he has to stay away from you or he can get charged). Seriously. I work in family law (Ontario) and you need to take the proper procedures or this could bite you in the ass. I’ve dealt with all sorts of family issues, including where one person has mental health issues and not taking their meds. If you are lacking in money go to duty counsel or a FLIC in your local court house to get advice. But you need to see someone who can give you proper advice and such. Good luck.  This is not a good situation to be in.

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