I did not know this happened in real life

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1570 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

You call her up and say very sorry if misunderstanding (which is BS, she is an idiot), but invite is for you only. 

PS If you havent done so already, you and your fiance should inform your own parents that they are NOT to add anyone to the guest list.  If they have trouble saying no, they should say, will get back to you and call one of you.

 

Post # 5
Member
6964 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@excitedtobeMRSF:  LOL I fully expect my SILs to do this. Obviously I have to give them a plus one because they are my FI’s sisters but one isn’t very serious with her BF so it’s 50/50 they’ll still be together and the other hasn’t dated in over a year and really doesn’t seem interested in it. But yeah… they will for SURE bring their crazy drunk girl friends even though their entire families will be there! I’ve seen them all together… they will absolutely be screaming “Shots! Shots! Shots!” while their teenage children get super embarrassed. I’m shrugging it off, but if it were a cousin I’d probably be pissed. 

Post # 6
Member
1491 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@excitedtobeMRSF:  This would be a polite “NO”.   Polite and firm.   If you didn’t indicate that she could get a +1, the answer is no.  If you feel that to keep the peace she can bring a friend (depending on her age) then maybe let it slide, but be prepared for everyone else to try to wiggle in a friend too.    

Post # 7
Member
1570 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

IMHO, the problem with giving people who ask a plus one or bring kids, whatever, is that the people who are polite and do not ask for more get treated worse.  IMHO, that is not right. 

Post # 8
Member
5697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

LOL OH boy, you’re going to have to call them up and say “sorry but hell no” to them, unfortunately. People are so daft, seriously

Post # 11
Member
42546 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Call them up and explain “I apologize if there was a misunderstnding, but we are not able to accomodate your guest. We look forward to seeing you at the wedding, but if this means you won’t be able to attend, we understand.”

This let’s them know that you are serious and it’s not the end of the world for you if they feel they simply cannot attend without a guest.

Don’t make excuses or give reasons why you can’t accomodate them. Many people then turn into problem solvers and offer to pay for them, sit on the end of the table, have them arrive after dinner etc.

Post # 12
Member
1491 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@excitedtobeMRSF:  Ok, yes, at 22 she can survive a social event with her family.   I was thinking she was like 13 or something, and I can kinda see bring a buddy/friend along so they aren’t bored.   

Post # 13
Member
19 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Hahah people are so ignorant. My aunt did the same asking if it was cool to bring her two friends even though she was going to be there with her partner!! So rude

Just call the girl and say unfortunately she wont be able to bring a friend due to capacity and numbers.

 

Post # 14
Member
4827 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

Post # 15
Member
906 posts
Busy bee

If it were me getting married then my rule of thumb for non relatives is only married, engaged, and live in partners can come together or if we are friends with their signifant other. If none of the above I wouldn’t consider letting my friend bring a guest unless in bridal party. As far as family goes I would only let my family bring someone if they are in a serious relationships. 

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