Post # 1
I have been trying to de-clutter my house. We have lived in our house for seven years, have 3 kids and a lot of clutter.
My husband and I have been talking about moving soon because our house is starting to feel small for us.
Our almost two year old sleeps in our room still and our other two kids share a room.
Anyway, I have been excited about fixing up our house to possibly start getting it ready to put up for sale. I have been really proud of myself because I have been cleaning a lot and have gotten rid of a lot of junk.
Today, my husband wanted to go play basketball at church like he does every week, once a week, and he couldn’t find his shoes. Not only one pair, but two pairs are missing. His basketball shoes cost like $80 and I bought them for him a couple months ago. The other pair weren’t that expensive and were just normal shoes.
I swear I can’t remember getting rid of them, I don’t even remember seeing them. He says they were both kind of muddy because he wore them to work I guess. But we have looked everywhere and they’re nowhere to be found.
I feel so stupid and he was pretty upset. He went to bed mad at me and I can’t stop trying to remember what I could have done with his shoes! I would be pretty upset if he had thrown away my shoes too, I guess, but definitely not as mad as he was at me.
I just wonder if I am losing it. I can’t imagine myself being so thoughtless and throwing away his shoes like that. I feel bad and upset at myself. Just needed to vent to someone😧
Post # 2
Girl, we all make mistakes. Even if you did throw them away it was an accident (and one done while trying to help the overall household). All you can do is apologise, get some new ones and move on.
Plus it sounds like you have young kids so no wonder you are tired!
This will be a short term annoyance for him but (unless he’s a complete jerk) he will quickly get over it.
Who knows, he may have even put them somewhere himself and this will all be nothing!
Post # 3
All you can do is apologise, get some new ones and move on.
Agree. We all make mistakes, don’t beat yourself up for it!
Post # 4
Apologise, admit that you may be at fault and let go. It’s easily done.
Post # 5
lollipoppins : As per the PP’s, don’t beat yourself up too much, we all make mistakes, apoligise and get him some new ones. He won’t stay mad for too long if it was an honest mistake.
Post # 6
This is dh’s nightmare scenario. He hates throwing things away. I can’t, literally can’t deal with clutter. His office is unbearable to me.
His big fear is that in my zeal to declutter, I’ll throw something important away. This from the man who packed up and moved a broken keyboard.
Dh: You probably want to save this, right? (Holding up something truly irreplaceable, like a couple of sporks).
Me: Nooooooooo! Throw it away!
Dh: (Sigh of resignation). I was just checking. I wouldn’t want to throw out something important.
Me: Oh, please. Go ahead, start throwing. I’ll chance it.
Of course, nothing gets thrown away, including his precious sporks. They just get dumped in his office.
Dh’s “logic”. And I quote: “Someday, you’re going to throw out the wrong piece of paper and DESTROY YOUR LIFE.”
In the many years I’ve known Dh, this was the first time I seriously questioned his mental health.
In any case, Bee. Stuff happens. My Dh,who never throws anything away, once threw a blank, SIGNED check into the trash. I’d issue a prophylactic apology, in case you actually did do it and let it go after that.
Post # 7
So if you did throw the shoes away, my thought is that they wouldn’t have been with his other shoes? They’d be somewhere else, perhaps because they were muddy? I say this because it’s highly unlikely that if all his shoes were together you’ve randomly picked two pair to throw away but leave the others.
If he’s left them out somewhere and you have thrown them, it’s 50/50 in my book. You’ve apologised, you didn’t do it on purpose, he needs to get over it. Especially when he knows you’re clearing things out for moving. I also say this as the messy person in my relationship – if you leave your crap out, expect it to get broken or thrown.
Post # 8
He needs to get over it. As someone that just put their house on the market, it’s a lot of work and he should be happy you are working towards de-cluttering. Especially with 3 kids to look after too. Do you throw shoes and clothes or put them aside to go to Goodwill? Around here even beat up shoes can be donated, they typically go to the shelters. Did they end up in a donate pile?
If you have apologized he needs to move on, you didn’t do it on purpose. Don’t beat yourself up. You’ve got enough to worry about!
Post # 9
- Wedding: March 2017 - Outside in Paris
All you can do is apologize.