(Closed) I didn't give enough and I feel terrible…

posted 5 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
1583 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@feelingfriendless1:  Don’t feel bad! There are no formal guidelines that you have to follow when giving a gift. A gift is just that, a gift. I am sure whatever amount that you gave was appreciated and your attendance at the wedding even more so. I wouldn’t worry about it too much.

Post # 4
Member
4774 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

ok I’m curious how much did you give?

Gifts are not supposed to cover the cost of a wedding, that’s really one mistake brides think that they will make a profit on their wedding, LOL!

Everything will be ok.  They probably don;t even remember how much you gave anymore.

Post # 6
Member
965 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Here’s the thing…you don’t give money to help cover your portion of the wedding cost, you give it to bless the newlyweds in their start together.  Whether you gave $10 or $100, hopefully they were grateful just to receive.  Don’t stress over something like this.  If they’re pissy over receiving money (in any amount!), then they’re not the kind of friends that I, personally, want to have around me anyway.  I am grateful for every gift, no matter how big or small, that FI and I have received.  It makes us feel so loved and blessed and that’s what really matters anyway.  I think you’re probably overthinking the situation 😉

Post # 7
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@feelingfriendless1:  Now that I’m planning my own wedding I realize the gifts I’ve given were a little light as well… Now that they’re starting to have children, I’m trying to be more generous with the shower gifts! 

Post # 9
Member
7241 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

I’m not sure where this idea that the gift should cover your portion of the wedding came from. I mean.. yeah, ideally it would, but it’s a GIFT. You’re fine. Don’t worry about it. I’m sure you weren’t the only person who gave a less-than-cost gift and BELIEVE me you will have more than a few guests doing the same to you.

Post # 10
Member
1583 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@feelingfriendless1:  $50 was what you could afford and thought was appropriate at the time. There is nothing wrong with that! It’s nothing to sneeze at. I know it is easy to worry about these things, but I really think you are fine. Enjoy planning your wedding and don’t worry about a gift you gave years ago! Your friend probably doesn’t even remember.

Post # 11
Member
5273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Girl, you are good! 

There are guests who attend weddings and don’t even give a card – so your gift, no matter what the amount, I’m sure was very appreciated!! 

Post # 14
Member
492 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I went to a wedding last summer and I was the ONLY person who gave a gift!! I felt horrible for the couple! Any gift should be appreciated no matter the $ value

Post # 15
Member
1459 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo

There is no “set” amount to how much you ever have to give anyone – just turning up with a card should be appreciated.

 

An old school friend of mine got married in December and I gave her a £50 note. BF’s *sister* got married last summer and together we gave her £60 in John Lewis vouchers. In both cases the couples were incredibly happy and grateful.

 

Even if someone is a millionaire it’s not fair to expect a large hunk of money from them.

 

Honestly I think you’re fine and *if* the bride was offended, well then that’s just her problem.

Post # 16
Member
4774 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@feelingfriendless1:  What you’re crazy 50 is plenty!  I thought you gave like 5.

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