Post # 1
I was invited to a wedding last year, before I was engaged and before I started planning anything wedding related. This was the first wedding i’d ever been invited to by myself (no parents to give the gift for me) so I had no idea what to give the couple. I opted for a cheque and asked my mom how much she suggested.
Now that I’m planning my own wedding and I see the COST of things, I didn’t give NEARLY enough. It makes me feel sick. I wasn’t super close to the couple, but what I gave probably didn’t even cover our meals. Maybe one and a bit (for the two of us).
The couple is invited to our wedding now… please tell me that everything is okay because they can give the same amount back? They know what we gave them, they can just return the favour even though it’s cheap, right? If they give more.. it’s their choice…? Ugh, I just feel so horrible.
Post # 3
@feelingfriendless1: Don’t feel bad! There are no formal guidelines that you have to follow when giving a gift. A gift is just that, a gift. I am sure whatever amount that you gave was appreciated and your attendance at the wedding even more so. I wouldn’t worry about it too much.
Post # 4
ok I’m curious how much did you give?
Gifts are not supposed to cover the cost of a wedding, that’s really one mistake brides think that they will make a profit on their wedding, LOL!
Everything will be ok. They probably don;t even remember how much you gave anymore.
Post # 5
I gave $50 for the two of us. Ugh, I should have given at least $100. Even $200.To me, $50 was a lot then… now it seems like pocket change. I can’t believe I htought that sounded reasonable.
Post # 6
Here’s the thing…you don’t give money to help cover your portion of the wedding cost, you give it to bless the newlyweds in their start together. Whether you gave $10 or $100, hopefully they were grateful just to receive. Don’t stress over something like this. If they’re pissy over receiving money (in any amount!), then they’re not the kind of friends that I, personally, want to have around me anyway. I am grateful for every gift, no matter how big or small, that FI and I have received. It makes us feel so loved and blessed and that’s what really matters anyway. I think you’re probably overthinking the situation 😉
Post # 7
@feelingfriendless1: Now that I’m planning my own wedding I realize the gifts I’ve given were a little light as well… Now that they’re starting to have children, I’m trying to be more generous with the shower gifts!
Post # 8
@SweetMelissa429: Thank you so much. This helped a lot. I don’t feel like I will be “judgemental” on what people give us as a gift, I just freak out every now and then about costs and I feel so bad that I didn’t give them enough.
I hope they appreciated it, like you said. That makes me feel better.
Post # 9
I’m not sure where this idea that the gift should cover your portion of the wedding came from. I mean.. yeah, ideally it would, but it’s a GIFT. You’re fine. Don’t worry about it. I’m sure you weren’t the only person who gave a less-than-cost gift and BELIEVE me you will have more than a few guests doing the same to you.
Post # 10
@feelingfriendless1: $50 was what you could afford and thought was appropriate at the time. There is nothing wrong with that! It’s nothing to sneeze at. I know it is easy to worry about these things, but I really think you are fine. Enjoy planning your wedding and don’t worry about a gift you gave years ago! Your friend probably doesn’t even remember.
Post # 11
Girl, you are good!
There are guests who attend weddings and don’t even give a card – so your gift, no matter what the amount, I’m sure was very appreciated!!
Post # 12
@hotpinkbride: Thank you. I feel better now. It’s been nagging at me for awhile and occasionally I start feeling really bad about it.
Post # 13
@feelingfriendless1: You give what you’re comfortable giving at the time of the wedding. Don’t feel bad.
Post # 14
I went to a wedding last summer and I was the ONLY person who gave a gift!! I felt horrible for the couple! Any gift should be appreciated no matter the $ value
Post # 15
- Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo
There is no “set” amount to how much you ever have to give anyone – just turning up with a card should be appreciated.
An old school friend of mine got married in December and I gave her a £50 note. BF’s *sister* got married last summer and together we gave her £60 in John Lewis vouchers. In both cases the couples were incredibly happy and grateful.
Even if someone is a millionaire it’s not fair to expect a large hunk of money from them.
Honestly I think you’re fine and *if* the bride was offended, well then that’s just her problem.
Post # 16
@feelingfriendless1: What you’re crazy 50 is plenty! I thought you gave like 5.