- 8 years ago
- Wedding: October 2010
and now its constantly being held over my head! Future DH has a younger sister, and she apparently assumed she was being a bridesmaid (without knowing anything about it), even BEFORE we got engaged.
She is young, (15) and too add to it, very very immature. I didn’t pick her for various reasons, future DH knows these reasons and months ago, he respected that decision and I said to him Well, maybe if she shows some maturity, we can give her another role.
She also doesnt have a job, and her nor future MIL are seeming to understand the pure costs associated with being one. They just think its you put on a dress and walk down a hall and thats the end of it. I have tried to explain to dear FI several times that it is very expensive, and that his sister doesnt have a job and his mother really does not have that kind of expense to put forward. I try to break down the costs associated and the tasks that my other bridesmaids have done thus far, and how it was in my (and her mothers) best interest NOT to put her as a bridesmaid. And they just see it as the emotional thing, well I hurt her feelings, I didn’t choose her, SHE is left out…
Well, with three months to go, not only has she not shown any responsibility or maturity, i think its gotten worse. And now, I really don’t want to include her in anything. When we went to dinner for DH birthday she sat at dinner with an ipod and a PSP and played video games, she never once acted interested in the dinner or the conversation and it was seemingly like she NEEDED to be occupied in order to sit there. We went to a four star resturant one night, and she was slopping up ketchup on her fingers and licking it off… clearly she isnt mature enough. How am I supposed to have her participate in a reading or even pass out programs? All I see, because I’ve never seen anything different, is giving her a job, like passing out programs, and find out she had her ipod in her head the whole time, or texting while doing so.
Her mom bought an ivory dress to wear to our wedding, and i was very upset about it. This girl called me up telling me that I need to back off and deal with it and that I am hurting her mom by telling her she needs to pick another dress. Hello? Its MY wedding… if I dont want the mother of the groom to wear the EXACT same color as me, I believe I have a say in that.
She is also a very “ME” person. She doesn’t care about anything about the wedding, unless it has to do with her part of it. She doesn’t care that its my day or my fiances day, she just wants to find out where HER role is and where SHE gets the attention. FI proposed in front of his family and my family, and minutes later she had an ‘anxiety’ attack and threw a theatric fit…. minutes after I had JUST gotten engaged! She (nor her mom) has never once asked anyone about the wedding, she just consistantly brings up to DH how she was “supposed” to be a bridesmaid. (i dont know where she got that from)
I am so tired of this, I made her very well aware that her behavior and maturity was not up to par with that kind of responsibility…….can’t she put on her big girl pants and move on? I have tried to make this day as much about DH has about myself, and about the love that we have for eachother. But I feel like he and the rest of his family are pushing me into giving her a job just to make her feel included, when not only does she not deserve it, it is going to stress me out 550000 times more on that day. When its supposed to be a happy positive fun exciting day, I know I will spend the whole morning worrying about what shes going to mess up.. because she’s never done any different!
Sorry, this is just a bad vent. Ugh.