(Closed) I didn’t think it was that bad

posted 7 years ago in Weddingbee
Post # 3
Member
4693 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I didn’t think it was that bad either, but it was closed because the OP asked for it to be closed.

Post # 4
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I just hate when people don’t like the responses/advice and so they implode an entire thread.   Lame. 

Post # 6
Member
1986 posts
Buzzing bee

I still don’t think it should’ve been closed. I’ve seen that alot lately, it’s not my favorite thing for sure.

Post # 7
Member
2090 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@missrobots: Agreed.

I don’t like when people give a selection of facts (which one would guess are the facts they think most important, otherwise, why post those facts?), people take the time and effort to respond and responses are ignored or dismissed because “you don’t know me”.

Sometimes being supportive isn’t just telling people what they want to hear.

Post # 8
Member
1056 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Which thread are you talking about??

Post # 9
Member
160 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

i think it was incredibly lame. she clearly did not want advice or insight but rather only to be told how right she is. disagreeing and offering perspective can be lending support just as much as reinforcing ones feeling.

at least it mayhap saved others the time of trying to offer aforementioned advice or insight.

 

 

Post # 10
Member
4693 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I think the mods are just trying to keep everyone happy.  They keep going back and forth between more and less moderation looking for a balance, right now I think it’s just on the more side.

Post # 12
Member
1480 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I suppose when a thread is a personal vent and it’s not going the way the OP wants it to, it loses its “usefulness” to the OP and quickly turns into a battle ground.

I think the problem is that some posters feel vent posts should be granted immunity from any judgment and should be “rainbows and unicorns” only, while others feel it doesn’t do anyone any good to reinforce unhealthy/counterproductive thoughts and behaviors. Obviously, I’m in the second camp.

I think reality checks are a good thing, and that you’re only hurting yourself by cultivating irrational negative feelings. I’m just speaking from my personal experience of becoming a much happier person since learning this.

Post # 13
Member
12 posts
Newbee

Hello, OP here.  Actually, I feel like the personal attack came when I was told that I was “needy” and “grasping at straws”.  She made the original comment which lead to my removed post – it wasn’t something that I just came up with.  I was confirming what she said.

That being said, yes, I was shocked by the way a lot of the posts came across – I’ll admit it.  I came here seeking advice, and trying to find ways of dealing with the issues I’m feeling.  If the community’s way of handling is is essentially telling me to “back off or leave” then I don’t see how this is constructive.  Others are entitled to their opinions just as I am.  But launching a personal attack on someone who is obviously having a difficult time seems counter-productive.  I’m having a hard time dealing with the, “What’s wrong with me?” aspect and needed support – and constructive critiscism if it’s warranted.  I found out at work today that a couple who have only been seeing eachother a YEAR AND A HALF are engaged.  Right, wrong or indifferent, I ran into the bathroom and sobbed for 15 minutes.  Her late husband hasn’t been gone 2 years and his ex wife cheated on him.  And yet, they’re both adult enough to move on?  I don’t know how to handle all of this external pressure, and am looking for advice on how to cope.  Not people telling me I’m needy.

Should I back off?  Yes.  In fact, before I read the responses to the original thread, I send my SO a text telling him I was done agonizing over this – that I was not going to mention “engagement” or “marriage” again unless he brought it up.  I’m through.  It’s time to impliment Mr. Bee’s three step plan…

Post # 15
Member
1543 posts
Bumble bee

I’m with @yearns4god:, I’m lost as to which post y’all are talking about. And I’m always on the waiting boards. I don’t wish to start anything back up, since it was apparently a controversial subject for some, just being politely nosey Tongue out

Post # 16
Member
1986 posts
Buzzing bee

@SandraRae326: No no no, you don’t get to throw a tantrum and have your thread closed and then come to another thread to show your POV. Uh uh. It doesn’t work like that.

The topic ‘I didn’t think it was that bad’ is closed to new replies.

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