Post # 1
I have a horrible self image of myself. I am so upset and angry at myself as well. I, unfortunately, have gained weight during the two years I’ve been with Fiance. Right before I met him, I was at my lowest weight of 120lbs. Granted I thought I looked a bit too anorexic at the top (I’m an italian with big hips, thighs, and ass).
The scale now says 177. Something around there anyways. I’ve been exercising. My dieting fails and I KNOW I need to take control of my eating habits, but my eating habits haven’t changed much since I started dating Fiance. If anything, I’ve really cut out all alcohol and bar food. Yes, before Fiance, all I did was drink every night and eat diner/bar food. I was STILL losing weight. I honestly don’t get it at all.
Everyone says I became comfortable. They’re probably right, but I’m still confused. My weight has always fluctuated. The first time I gained a ton of weight was because of the medicine I was on for depression/bipolar. I was barely eating as well around that time because I had no appetite. I began losing the weight after I stopped the medicine and became a bit more active.
I’m just at my wit’s end. I’m looking for advice mostly on how to make myself feel sexy again in the bedroom and in general. I know you look good when you feel good. I know I need to be exercising more and controlling my eating. I am not denying that, but what can I do in the mean time? All I see when I am naked is a ton of fat, cellulite, and just a big blob. I can’t stand it anymore. I want to feel good again and show my Fiance that I still am sexy regardless.
Thanks in advance!
Post # 3
Sometimes it helps me to think about what my Fiance sees.
He doesn’t notice the fat (I’m not fat, but I have cellulite and a few chunky areas — but he doesn’t notice that!)
He sees… well… other things if ya know what I mean!
Post # 4
Honestly the best advice I can give you is to work out; it just gives you a natural high. I feel better about myself when I’m exercising regularly even before I start losing noticeable amounts of weight.
Post # 5
@thehoneybear: Hah. I totally get what you’re saying. FI is really attracted to my ass. He loves it. It’s definitely a plus that it’s gotten somewhat bigger, I guess. I swear that’s where most my weight is. 😉
@Navy_Wife: You’re absolutely right. I do plan to hit the gym hard once I’m back home. We’ve both slipped away from the work out routine since we go together. That’s a blessing and curse at times.
Post # 6
I feel for you! I have been both the numbers you have posted at one point in my life.
Get your hormones checked!!
What type of meds are you on now?
Its okay to have love weight, but if you haven’t had any massive changes in diet or activity its probably something out of your control thats going on internally.
Stay active and keep positive about how beautiful you are and that this is only temporary! You will get to the bottom of the problem/issue.
Post # 7
It sounds like you’re being really hard on yourself, not that I don’t understand your frustration at what you see reflected in the mirror right now. But you know what you need to do, so just do it. And in the meantime, your Fiance will find you sexy as long as you don’t pull back or become self-conscious in the bedroom. Act as if you’re the hottest sexiest chick in the world and you will be:)
Post # 8
@Eva Peron: I honestly think my hormones/thyroid play a major role in my weight. It seemed that I lost weight when I was on BC. Unfortunately, I had to stop taking BC for two years because 1) I lost my insurance and 2) I was getting severe migraines. It seemed that after a couple of months of no BC is when I started to gain the weight back plus more. I am now back on BC and I’m hoping it will help regulate my metabolism. I’m also getting benefits in three weeks so I’m going to the doctor ASAP to figure out any health issues I may have.
I’m not on the medicine anymore. At one point in my life I was on SO much medication that I just gained a ton of weight.
@PutABirdOnIt: Thanks. There are days where I do feel and act extremely sexy. Just having a harder time getting to that point. 🙂
Post # 9
@Rouquine: Oh my gosh!
I’m telling you as evil as those pills are- when you STOP taking them you blow up-making them even more evil. I’ve had countless girlfirends with the problem and that is how my weight shot up 30 pounds in literally a few months. It drove me wild, I hid in comfy clothes and never wanted to put a pair of jeans on or get dressed up.
I had to workout insanely and really study some nutrition to get into a safe zone. I’m hoping the pills will help me get back to whats good.
Luckily for my wedding, I’m going back on next month.
Keep me updated on how your pills are going and if you feel better about yourself!
Post # 10
Kinda a wierd question for you, but do you have regular periods? I’m asking because I’ve been going through something similar for the last year and I just got diagnosed with PCOS. Not saying that’s something you have, but it definitely could be hormon related.
Post # 11
@Eva Peron: I find it so interesting that I lost weight when I was on BC and gained when I stopped taking. It seems to have an opposite effect on most women. I am hoping to have the same results from the BC along with working out. I will definitely keep you updated!
@dodgercpkl: I sent you a PM. 🙂
Post # 12
I am pretty fortunate in that my weight doesn’t fluctuate much, but I definitely still go through ruts where I feel less attractive. Here’s what I usually do to battle it:
Take good care of my skin (be consistent with exfoliating, moisturizing, etc.) and drink lots of water.
Get a good haircut and spend a little extra time on my hair and makeup in the mornings. Maybe you could try a new shade of blush and lipstick, or even a new haircolor if you’re feeling adventurous.
Go clothes shopping and find a couple of sexy dresses or tops that highlight my best features. It’s always nice to have new clothes you’re excited about wearing, and it often makes me feel much better about my appearance.
Have a romantic dinner with my Fiance. Dim the lights, drink a nice bottle of wine, put on some music and dance in the living room.
And/or focus on the things about him that you find sexy. That helps too!
Post # 13
The strange weight gain might be a hormonal problem- maybe as others have said, PCOS or a thyroid disorder. Maybe go to your doctor and get some tests done to see if that’s the culprit.
It’s really hard not to pick at the things about yourself that you don’t like- but trust me, Fiance probably doesn’t even notice or care about those things at all. I know that doesn’t make you feel completely better, but it’s a start. Just think about the way HE sees you and it can help you to start viewing yourself in a more positive light.
If you can, one thing I recommend is to spend a little time and money to dress better to flatter your figure. I’m petite but very hourglass shaped with a little extra weight that I need to get rid of. Like you, I have super wide hips, naturally thicker thighs and a huge ass. I was unsure about how to best dress myself, especially being as short as I am. I was super self conscious and was wearing baggier tops ( mostly all in black) because they made me feel like I looked better- but they didn’t! I looked like I was wearing a tent and ready to go to a funeral. I sucked it up and went shopping and got several tighter-fitting tops in colors that flatter my skin tone and looked far and wide until I found a pair of jeans that just look amazing on me. Since then, I feel better about myself and I’ve been getting a lot more male attention, which feels nice. Fiance even says I look and act like I have more confidence- and I do! I know I still need to lose a little weight, but until I can acheive that, I definitely feel better about how I look.
Some other things that have helped me is curveappeal.tumblr.com. This site has self-submissions of women of all shapes and sizes and they all look beautiful. I also like mybodygallery.com- You can search your specific height, clothing sizes and shape, and it brings up pictures women have submitted of themslves who fit those categories- this way, you can see REAL people who are the same exact size as you are, and you can realize that you don’t look nearly as bad as you think you do. These are great places for a dose of self-esteem and reassurance in your current body.
I hope you can start to feel better about yourself soon. I know it can be hard not to constantly pick at yourself and notice every single flaw; but it gets better. I lost a decent amount of weight over the past year and a half by sticking to a vegetarian diet. If you could try that, it really works and I feel great overall. Good luck to you!
Post # 14
@Rouquine: Most women (like me) gain weight on birth control, but if you can lose it, awesome for you! I had horrible migraines when I started too- my doctor had to go through a few different types of BC before I found one that didn’t give me migraines. Most BC has hormones for 3 weeks, then nothing for 1 week, can the sudden change causes migraines. However, there are some BCs that have hormones for 3 weeks, and then some hormones but not quite as much for the last week. It definitely helped my migraines, so if they happen again ask your doctor about that 🙂
I know how it is to be on antidepressants as well. I’ve been on them for about 2 years (switched several times) and have gained about 40 pounds steadily. My Fiance couldn’t be any more supportive though- he goes to all lengths to make sure I know he loves me exactly as I am. I’m sure your Fiance would do the same for you, just tell him how you’re feeling 🙂
Post # 15
Hi..I just want to say I identify with you. I struggled w/weight when I was younger and then got to a healthy point where I mantained between 110-120 for most of my 20s. However when I moved in with Fiance last year I ganed nearly 40 pounds. A combo of no working out and eating junk nonstop. It really made me feel not sexy and lower my sex drive. I have been trying to work out and eat healthier and have lost about ten lbs so far. But it has taken MONTHS to lose this and I have already lost and gained these ten lbs multiple times – I have a thyroid issue too & am actually seeing an endocrinologist next month. Hope that helps…in the meantime I do think working out, as hard as it is to get started and stick with it, really improves body image and makes you feel good and like you are working towards something…good luck.
Post # 16
You ladies are wonderful. Thank you so much for the feedback and support. As everyone always says, I don’t know where I’d be without you all. 🙂 It truly is nice to come here and vent. Always so helpful. I love it.
@shyviolette: The sites you’ve provided are wonderful! Now if only I could find some amazing outfits like these women!