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I don't care for personal vows or repeat vows. "I do," kissy kissy, and then time for food and dancing!
We repeated the traditional vows only. I just felt like I needed to Say the words to feel them not just agree. My husband and I aren't super emotional people though so I was actually hoping it might amp it up a little since I definitely wasn't worried about bawling.
We wrote our own that we repeated after the pastor. I wish we had done i dos as well.
We had an "I do" portion and a "repeat" portion..... not the traditional but still same format =)
I much prefer saying the actual words. Otherwise, it seems like you are making a promise to the officiant, rather than each other.
I just started thinking about this recently, too, trying to figure out which kind we'll do. I think I prefer the repeat vows, because I like the idea of actually saying the words. (Could you put any less effort into something than listening to one guy list off all the promises and basically just responding, "Yup"?) :-P
We did all three! And the whole ceremony lasted probably 20 minutes.
1) Personal vows
2) I Dos
3) Repeat after me (for ring exchange)
I haven't decided what we're going to do yet but considering the ceremony will be in danish (which is my 2nd language), I think I'll want to take the easy route and just say "ja" :)
we were watching TLC's Four Weddings several months ago, when FH asked in a leading kind of way if I really wanted personal vows more than "I do".
I said it wasn't important either way.
He sighed in releif, and asked if we could just do the "I do", because, and I quote, "no one likes to hear a grown man's voice crack as he cries".
@pengoala: that's exactly what I decided to do, it made the most sense, we say the words that mean the most to eachother, then say "i do's" because I feel like that is important to me, then we repeat the ring thing... :) It's like the best combination of all of them. :)
I chose "other" because we actually didn't saw vows at all! We had a Greek Orthodox ceremony, and in those the bride and groom don't say anything. It worked well for us because we're both shy and nervous. It didn't feel any less real though.
I agree with @pengoala: personal vows, I do's and them repeat after me for rings. Shouldn't take that long to do it that way.
@o0olibelulao0o: Yay, I'm glad you figured out something that will work for you! :) Our ceremony was beautiful in that order, and yours will be too!
@pengoala: We did all three too, but we did the "I dos", then the personal vows that we'd each written, then the repeating vows with the ring exchange.
My ceremony lasted about 15 minutes. I wrote the whole thing myself ( bc it overwhelemed my husband lol). Our best friend married us and gave me some input along the way for how things should go. Our ceremony was quick intro with my dad giving me away, a short reading, then we did very short personal vow, repeated short traditional vows which ended in "with this ring, I thee wed." We never actually did any "I do's" which I initially thought I would want....but the I thee wed still makes my heart flutter which is why I chose it :)
I wrote the vows for our ceremony and did them in a "repeat after me" format. That part produced one of the funniest moments in our ceremony. Mr. LK got all flummoxed after a longer secction and said "What?" Everyone started cracking up. Then Mr. LK looked over at the ceremony book and asked our officiant (one of Mr. LK's best friends) where he was readfing from. The officiant pointed to the spot in the text and said "Well she wrote it!" That made me start laughing, and Mr. LK decided to just have him re-read the section. What would have been something super emotional turned into sometyhing funny instead. It was so us!
We did all three. We did the "I do" as an statement of intent at the beginning of ceremony ("Will you have ___ to be your wife/husband, to live together in holy marriage. Wil you love him/her, honor him, and keep him, in sickness...). After the readings, we did the personalized vows, and then the repeat after me vows (I ___, take you ___ to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward...). It worked really well.
When we exchanged rings, we did another repeat after me piece: "Let this ring serve as a reminder that you will forever be surrounded by my love."
When you're making your own ceremony, you can really do anything you want!
We said "I do" as our declaration of intent. The minister asked us each of us if we took the other "to be our wife/husband, to live together in the covenant of marriage? Do you pledge your faithfulness to him/her, in all love and honor, in all duty and service for as long as you both shall live?" We both answered "I do."
Then later on, we repeated after him and said our vows which were, "I take you to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, to join with you and share all that is to come. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life. This is my solemn vow."
Then, we exchanged rings by saying "I give you this ring as a sign of my vow, and with all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit."
We had I do's, the traditional repeat vows as well as the repeat while exchanging rings. With all three and readings our ceremony was about 20min.
Everyone said is was the perfect length.
Oh, except I never said I do. I was really nervous all morning and then this was one of the first parts of the ceremony and I kind of forgot what I was supposed to say and ended up just saying yes. I think DH thought I wasn't even going to answer!!
I always understood the I do/I will part of the ceremony to be the legally-required statement of intent (different places have different rules, though, so YMMV), and the vows to be the personal part, be it the repeat after me traditional ones or the write-your-own.
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I just finished putting together the first draft of our ceremony (with the help of some samples sent over by our officiant)... OMG I read one of the samples and cried my eyes out, it was the most beautiful thing I had ever read! So with a little cutting and pasting with another sample I loved and pasted in some "traditional" (or my take on traditional) pieces and I think I have a work of art!
The hardest part I had was deciding on whether to do repeat vows (after our short personal vows) or the "i do" type vows... so I thought it might be interesting to see what everyone else did... :)