- 6 years ago
- Wedding: August 2012
Ok, I need some advice on registering for wedding gifts!
Basically, Fiance and I have been living together for over 4 years now. We are completely set up where we live and have everything we absolutely need. We also live in a rather small apartment, which is absolutely bursting at the seams from all our stuff…so we don’t even have room for stuff we might want but not need.
What we don’t have, however, is a lot of money. Like many people these days, we can’t actually afford to get our foot on the property ladder because we’re struggling to save up enough of a deposit. We therefore feel that, if people want to give us a wedding gift, that we would prefer a cash donation to help us save up to buy our own home. Or help us pay for our honeymoon. Or help us pay for the cat to have a holiday in a cattery while w’re on honeymoon. Or help me pay for repairs on the car. Etc.
Our friends and my family are perfectly happy with the idea and even the more traditional older relatives get where we’re coming from. My Future Mother-In-Law however is going to refuse to pass the word on to her side of the family (she and I have already had issues over guest lists, but that’s another story). She says that older guests will buy the traditional present anyway, and I think that she’s not all that bothered about trying to explain our situation to people beause she just doesn’t agree with us…even though we really don’t need any more kitchen gadgets
So my questions are:
- Is it ok to not register for gifts?
- How do I politely let people know that we would prefer money and not gifts? I don’t want to force people to give anything but I also don’t want them wasting their money if they do want to give us a present
- How can I get my Future Mother-In-Law on side?
- Should I set up a cash registry instead, to try and appease FMIL?
I don’t want to seem rude or upset older relatives. I just want them to understand that we don’t need help setting up our home…we need an actual home! I feel like I need to take control of this myself because Future Mother-In-Law has made it clear that she’s not going to be helping us explain our situation to people.