(Closed) Hi, Im a newbee!!! I dont believe my sister is happy about my engagement

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2086 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012 - Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyards

Give her a little time to process the news and get used to it. She’ll come around.

Post # 4
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

If she’s 5 years older, and unmarried, she may feel like a failure, or that you “beat her” to the altar. It’s not personal. She’s probably reflecting on where she is in her life, and she may be feeling sorry for herself. If that’s true, try not to “rub her nose in it” too much. If it’s all you talk about without acknowledging her potential upset, she may resent you and / or your position. 

Let her get used to the news. I’m sure she’ll snap out of it and be supportive.

Post # 5
4352 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

How long have you and your Boyfriend or Best Friend been together?

Post # 6
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

There could be a lot of reasons for her actions. She could be feeling inadequate as other posters mentioned, or she could know something about the proposal and be trying to keep it a secret. Whatever it is, I wouldn’t worry about it too much. If she’s still acting stand off-ish when you actually get engaged, then maybe there’s a problem.

Post # 9
15 posts
  • Wedding: November 2011

Does she not like your boyfriend?

Post # 10
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m sorry she is not acting excited for yOu.

If she’s older or not married or hoping to be engaged she’s probably just envious.

Try to take it in stride and know its not about you but abothrow she’s feeling in her own life.

Congrats!!!!! We will be excited for you!!!

Post # 12
569 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Maybe she’s in on a surprise and trying not to give it away?

Post # 13
2869 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Yeah… my sister (two years older than me) never liked my Fiance and told me one time that I am ‘settling’ by being with him, that he “has no redeeming features”

Wen we got engaged, I told her, she was like oh… wow… really? Not exactly the reaction I hoped for.  Although, she also says she doesn’t believe in marriage.

Still, she came around quickly and is trying to be supportive (for ex: flew from NY to CA to come see me try on wedding dresses and check out wedding venues when I was in my hometown for a weekend).  It might take time, but it’ll be okay.  She’s probably protective, but only wants you to be happy, sooo once she sees this makes you happy… 🙂

Post # 14
2874 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

well i figure its one of two things

she doesnt like your bf – but you seem to say thats not the case

she wishes she was getting married…so its kind of jealousy.

i know a woman who was getting really upset that all her friends were married/engaged, and when her younger sister got engaged it practically pushed her over the edge.in a “whats wrong with me, why am i the only single one” sort of way.

give your sis some time, hopefully shell be more excited later!

Post # 16
506 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Soon2bBNG:  I’m sure she’ll come around. I had some nerves my close friends might freak out but they cried and were joyous for us. His older sister was a little less thrilled. She has been going through a hard time in her relationship and eventually admitted she was embarassed that her little brother got engaged before her. Plus it’s hard to see your sibling leave the family, even though you’ll remain close! Congrats!! Would love to hear how things have turned out!

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