"I don't care if my baby is invited. I'm bringing her"

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
757 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Your uncle sounds really rude.  I’m feeling so annoyed for you! I would explain the situation to my mom/dad (who ever he is the brother of) and ask them if they can help.  Or, maybe talk to his wife?  Not sure what the relationships are there. 

If those options wont work, I’m kind of ballsy in that I would just tell him off and say what the plan is – that for his wedding he got to make the plan, so for your wedding him to respect that it’s your time to make the plans. Sometimes people like this will walk all over people until that person puts them in their place.

You can always offer that he can stay home with the baby 🙂

Post # 4
Member
460 posts
Helper bee

This is YOUR wedding, your day, your dime — NOT his. If he cannot respect your wishes, he has two choices – pay for the events to warrant it being his way, or decline & stay home. He sounds like a huge hemorrhoid IMO and that is the LAST thing I would want on my wedding day.

Post # 5
Member
1779 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 1997

@HourThyme:  rescind the “invitation” for his baby. stand up to him and tell him his baby cant come. He walks over u because he knows he can.He is a bully. Guarentee he will make a scene if his baby cries and anyone tries to move her from the room.

He regards u so highly u werent even invited to his wedding, He doesnt care about your wedding either, enough said!

Post # 6
Member
7262 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

I would disinvite him. He sounds like a dick.

Post # 7
Member
939 posts
Busy bee

normally I would say that having an infant at your wedding isn’t going to be a big deal and you should just suck it up, but your uncle sounds like a jerk! he won’t take the baby to the crying room? seriously?! you need to tell him in no uncertian terms that it is your wedding and you are fine with the baby coming ONLY if he complies with your wishes. 

Post # 8
Member
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Honestly, the very SECOND he said he was bringing her regardless of whether she was invited would have been the moment I decided she would not be welcome. I don’t let people push me around and walk all over me. This is your wedding, and ONLY those who are invited are welcome. He can like it or leave it.

If you ARE ok with her attending though, you say to your uncle ‘If baby starts crying, you are to take her to the crying room. This is not negotiable, and if you can’t agree with that then I’m afraid she will not be invited, as we do not want a baby crying during our ceremony. I hope you understand.’ Then stick with it. He sounds like a very rude person who will try to bully you and make you feel bad about this- DO NOT GIVE IN. This is your wedding and he has no right to dictate anything, and he does not get to sit there and let his baby cry through your ceremony. I can’t believe he thinks that would be appropriate.

If he gives you a hard time, keep repeating ‘I’m sorry but this is not up for discussion.’ Don’t be drawn in to his argument, you don’t need to justify this to him. If he doesn’t like your ‘rules’, he’s free to decline your invitation.

I’m pretty angry on your behalf

Also, if he invites anyone, I’d tell him he can either uninvite them or pay for their meal. Rude, rude, rude!

Post # 9
Member
3769 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

The less you talk about the wedding the less people think they are included in the decision making or that you want their input. From here on out I wouldn’t discuss this with them beyond “I hope you can make it”.

Post # 10
Member
32 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2014

what about his wife?  I would chat with the mom and see what she thinks.  Maybe she can hold the baby and be in charge of taking her to the cry room?

Post # 11
Member
2992 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Thank goodness we can pick our friends, eh? I would simply state that no children under ten are allowed. Period. If he doesn’t like it, then he does not have to come. If the family objects too much, then insist that the baby will have to be moved to the crying room if she cries during the ceremony. I agree, your uncle sounds like a bully. HE does not get to call the shots because it’s YOUIR wedding, not his. Personally, I don’t think it would be a great loss if he did not attend. I have a couple family crackpots and they sure as hell are not being invited to my wedding!

Post # 12
Member
1416 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

seriously why do you even want this guy at your wedding? he is trying to use your day to show off his precious baby and that is not okay! Un invite the asshole and call it a day, He didnt have the decency to invite you to his 2 events so screw him. 

Post # 13
Member
1253 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@HourThyme:  Wow, your uncle, quite frankly, is kind of a jerk. YOUR wedding, not his. You need to put your foot down and stop letting this overbearing guy run you into the ground!

If I had someone who out and out refused to take out their child if they started screaming during my VOWS, I would inform him he was not coming to my ceremony. Welcome to the reception, but he had better keep his butt out of that service.

Post # 14
Member
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@HourThyme:  Other than not inviting them, I would assign a trusted family member or friend to sit near them and when/if the baby cries they go up to them and encourage them to take the baby out.  If they refuse, I would have the officiant stop and shame them by asking “Can you please take the baby to the crying room so we can continue with the vows?”

Post # 15
Member
1184 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@Cory_loves_this_girl:  This.  I have children and I get not wanting to be away from them, but I would absolutely never bring a baby into a ceremony.  At that age, it’s just too unpredictable and people pay a lot of money for videographers and even if not, it’s their VOWS.. they deserve to say them without a ruckus.

Post # 16
Member
1793 posts
Buzzing bee

Doesn’t anyone ever knock this man down a peg when he behaves like this?

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