Post # 1
My mom and sister keep making a big deal about who is going to officiate our wedding. My parents are Catholic, and my sister is Jewish… and my Fiance and I are atheist.
My sister keeps suggesting a “modern minister,” but my Fiance and I are REALLY, VERY, NON-RELIGIOUS. I don’t want “god” or “angels” or “heaven” or any of those words in my ceremony. My mom and dad keep slamming us and saying “just go to the courthouse in town if you aren’t having it in a church.”
I come from a medium-sized town in upstate NY, but unfortunately, Google/WeddingWire/The Knot doesn’t have very many officiant websites. I’ve only found ~2. Since I live in CA right now, I don’t know when I’ll have the time, or money, to fly out to NY and meet any of them.
We don’t have any friends that we would feel comfortable officiating (our group of friends is small, and none of them in serious relationships… they’re all kind of party animals.) I guess I really don’t care who marries us,…But I feel like I should care. I care more about my FI’s vows.
How am I going to find an officiant living 3,000 miles away? :
Post # 3
Well, try emailing or Skyping with the ministers that you do have available. That might be a first step. Hmm… see if there are any Universalist Unitarian congregations around, they are non-dogmatic, everyone finds their own truth sort of thing… so I’m sure they would be fine having a non-religious ceremony.
Post # 4
@GoldStar: Well that’s the thing, I can’t find anyone to email. They all have phone numbers but I have no idea who they are outside of that… so it’d just be like me calling a bunch of random people and never being able to meet them before the wedding. 🙁
Post # 5
Do you have anyt friends who would be willing to get ordained? Thats what we are doing, costs 30 bucks and its way more special than a stranger we found on craigslist 🙂
Post # 6
Mr TTR and I Eloped to the US South…
We just went to the Internet and looked up Officants
Try GOOGLING – Getting Married in Buffalo – (as an example)
OR GOOGLE for Officiants – Officiants in the Finger Lakes – (as an example)
Then make a list of what you find, and what their particulars are (most nowadays have Websites)
Next up contact those by email that interest you to see if they are available on your date
Based on their replies (you’ll also get a feel for their style, tone, caring attitude) make another list of who to talk to by phone
We went thru the process twice as our Destination Wedding Plans changed… once in Myrtle Beach and once in The Florida Keys, and did this both times. It worked out well for us in the end.
We had a non-denominational non-religious (but spiritually uplifting) Ceremony and it was wonderful
In all honesty, I don’t think most Guests would even notice… as all the usual bits are still included “Do you ___ take ___ for Better for Worse… etc”
Hope this helps,
PS… If you want some help with this send me a PM and tell me the area of Upstate NY, and I can probably do some digging for you
Post # 7
I cannot recommend the people at NJ Vows Now enough. We had the most wonderful customized ceremony. My guests said it was the most meaningul, beautiful ceremony they had ever seen. DH & I are atheists. Their website says they go to NY State. I never met with them before the wedding, but we had to fill out a very detailed questionairre and do a Skype appointment. You will not be disappointed!
Post # 8
I love our officiant he’s based in south jersey so idk that he’d go that far but he might be able to recommend someone. When he found out how much fi works he offered to skype with us to make it easier. Since you’re so far away I’d suggest that. I found him was I did a search for officiants under vendors on the bee.