(Closed) I don't even care if anyone responds but I need to let it out…

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@HopefulInLove:  Have you talked about a timeline?

It’s a bit worrying that sometimes he’d hint he has a ring… but you think he might not even be ready to get engaged. Sounds like there’s a break in communication there somewhere.

Most guys won’t buy a ring until they’re ready to propose.

I am just reminded of my previous relationship where I was talking rings nonstop, we lived together, and I thought we were ready to take the next step… and he was about as far from wanting to marry me as possible. Luckily we broke up (he just wasn’t worth it).. but we never had any kind of timeline. I just kinda assumed since I was ready, so was he.

Post # 4
Member
5312 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2010

I am a little lost here – why are you looking at rings if he is not ready? Has he said he is not ready?

Have you actually sat down and shared your thoughts on getting engaged and married? Talked about your expectations? When you hope to be married? Has he said he wants to marry you?

I am trying to understand why you think he might have the ring, but then you say he is not ready. That does not add up for me 🙂

I encourage one to work on themselves and what is important to them no matter what else is going on in life, so I fully encourage you going to the gym!

Post # 6
Member
624 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@HopefulInLove:  I’m sorry you’re having a bad waiting day! I had a week of those last week and they are not fun! I agree with the other bees that it seems a little odd to look at rings when he is not ready. If he is not ready then that is just a cruel joke to play! Is he maybe trying to throw you off? It sounds like he is ready, why do you say he is not?  I would sit down and talk to him and let him know how those comments make you feel.And just because you are not engaged yet doesn’t mean he’s not ready. Maybe he is waiting for a special day, or saving up for it, or having it made. Maybe he is ready but like some guys, waiting for us to stop talking about the ring to propose. You never know what he may have up his sleeve! In the meantime I think hitting the gym to keep your mind off it is a good idea! Or take some time and do something nice for yourself!

Post # 7
Member
4574 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@HopefulInLove:  sorry your monday started off like that, question for you; how do you know he is not ready?  if he has told you so, then why look at rings at all?  My bff’s now fiance used to do this to her all the time, he used to play mind games about getting engaged and it is cruel, but one day she got into this big fight with him in front of his mother (btw his mother loves her) and she pretty much said that she wanted to move out and be alone rather than be with someone that doesnt want the same things…..a month after that fight they got engaged….IDK if it was the smart thing to do, but she got her ring, GL sweet girl and try talking to him on how upset this is making you.

Post # 8
Member
88 posts
Worker bee

I’m sorry you are feeling this way. My SO has said this stuff to me and I don’t understand why. We looked at rings seriously back in May, over 8 months ago, and the discussion of getting engaged came up again last night and then he had the nerve to tell me he wasn’t “saying anything” (i.e. I’m not promising anything) and then asked me again what I wanted for a ring. Again. This has happened a couple times since we first looked at rings. It gets really old.

I hope your day gets better, I find exercise really helps with my stress, I’ve been doing a lot of it lately 🙂

Post # 9
Member
700 posts
Busy bee

@HopefulInLove:  I know the feeling, every 4 mo or so my SO will say something along those lines, even when we were in hawaii & someone thought we were honeymooners……without rings……wow. Yeah, anyways he said he was “working on it”. Well, news to me lol. I learn to take everything with a grain of salt now and not get all crazy about engagements. time will tell lol.

Post # 12
Member
1144 posts
Bumble bee

@HopefulInLove:  I’m so with you! I’ve had a bad couple of waiting days. I heard from some mutual friends that he has been saving and was planning on buying it, but now I’m kind of getting frustrated. I would like a timeline at least. I think if I knew, it will happen in the next say 6 months I could calm down a little. But as of now I have no clue. SO won’t tell me anything only says he doesn’t have any money so we shouldn’t discuss it. Mutual friend from before doesn’t know either. So I’m trying to focus on other things! Such as getting healthier by working out and eating better. Building a better wardrobe. Hanging out with our dog. Focusing on my career (training starts Monday!) & lastly building memories with SO currently & trying (really really hard) to not focus on getting engaged.

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