I don't even feel like myself anymore

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’m sorry you’re going through this. Is there any way you can put wedding planning on hold for maybe a week or so just to decompress? Maybe treat yourself to a massage or a facial (if that’s doable, I know they can get expensive!). And if you haven’t already, maybe try to sit down with your fiance (at a time when you’re not feeling TOO stressed or actively upset) and explain how you’ve been feeling lately. Maybe he could try to help out more with some things (like taking care of the dogs or grocery shopping). I hope you feel better.

 

Post # 5
Member
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@orchidaloha:  Yeah, it sounds to me like you’re overwhelmed and need to recharge. I think taking some time off from the stressful stuff and focusing on your own well-being for a moment would help. 🙂

Post # 7
Member
233 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@orchidaloha:  Planning a wedding is tough, whether 20 people or 200 people. Don’t be too hard on yourself. You have your plate full. Anyone who has work, family and then you throw a wedding into the mix will be taken off their daily routine. I noticed that your date is in November, so there is definitely light at the end of the tunnel. Once your wedding is done, you can go back to your regular routine. I agree with CurlyTop24, take a weekend off and just relax. I’ve forced monthly facials into my schedule, just to help me relax. It worked! You’ll be fine.

Post # 8
Member
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@orchidaloha:  Ugh, that sucks. I think though that we all feel overwhelmed at certain points in our lives. This too shall pass!

I know it sounds obvious, but you reaaaallly need to stop worrying about the tiny details. No one notices or cares if you don’t have inner envelopes, for example. If your officiant and your groom show up, at the end of the day that’s all that really matters. I would write a thorough to-do list and figure out what stuff you can cut… or outsource for someone else to do. Even if you pay the other person to do it, at least it’ll be off your plate. Make things a bit simpler.. like stop agonizing over small decisions.. and stop putting off anything that you feel like you’re procrastinating on.

Go and sit in the sun on a park bench for a few minutes and just chill out. This works wonders for me. Sunlight is extremely uplifting (for me anyway). When I am feeing frazzled at work I go and do this when I can get a few free minutes, and it really helps.

Prioritize. You have a lot to do, but there’s only so much you can do in a day. Figure out the top 3 things that you NEED to do each evening, and stick to them. Everything else can wait.

Remember.. it’s about being married… not the production of a ceremony and reception. Let go of the idea that it needs to be perfect. People want to see you and your FI happy. They don’t care about small details. If you resign yourself to the fact that despite your best efforts, something will inevitably go wrong, you may feel a bit better. That’s normal.

Post # 10
Member
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I agree with PP… take a break, girl! I made a decision that one day a week, I wasn’t going to do any wedding planning (it happens to be for religious reasons as well–no “work” on Saturday!). It’s already been a big blessing. Just to be able to tell people, “today is my day off from wedding stuff” so you don’t get asked tons of questions that will stress you out, a day to not burn your eyes out staring at stuff online, answering emails, looking at other people’s fabulous weddings on Style Me Pretty and wondering if your day will look that great. On Friday, I’m feeling a little frazzled and tired by the whole week (work and family stuff included)… but after my Saturday off, I’m ready to tackle a few more things on Sunday. You can use your day off to reconnect with your FI, take care of the things you’ve fallen behind on, and most of all, RELAX! Watch your shows! Hang out with friends!

Try it! You have six days a week to plan your wedding. It’s not going to hurt you at all to take one day off and it’ll make you feel a lot better and less stressed by your wedding. I realize six months is short for planning a wedding, but I know a lot of people who have done it (for bigger crowds), so it’s possible. Best of luck!

Post # 12
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@orchidaloha:  Would you guys consider eloping? A local wedding stressed us out too, so we scrapped it. With everything going on in everyday life, adding a wedding to the mix is just crazy. This has been a really rough year for us too (not relationship wise, just external out of our hands factors) and it gets exhausting. I understand how you feel.

What helps us is taking time to do stuff we enjoy whether we practically have time for it or not. We love our boat and make sure we get out on it once a week. We still do our weekend getaways that help us relax. We try and focus on what is important – our relationship – and forget everything else. If things are out of our control, stressing about them won’t help.

I’m a bit confused though. This is your FI, or your SO who hasn’t proposed yet? You mentioned both, so I was thinking maybe you are stressed because you are doing all these things but he hasn’t made it official yet? I think a spa day is in order for you, even at home spa treatments. That can help make skin look radiant again, and also help you feel better 🙂

Post # 14
Member
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@orchidaloha:  I’m so glad to hear this! And the trip from your fiance sounds great. It sounds like you have a great guy, and he probably realized you’ve been on edge lately. Have a fantastic time. Things are looking up!

Post # 16
Member
2100 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@orchidaloha:  It sounds like you might want to take a day or week off from work. And then come back with newly formed boundaries. It’s so hard to have them at work, when you are supposed to be a “team player” (such bs in my opinion) but the most successful people I’ve seen in the workplace have incredible boundaries in place.

Personally, I would just stop doing anything you don’t want to do on most days. I would take a break. Treat yourself to a massage, make-over, pedi or spa treatments. You deserve it! Make some good food for yourself and take lots of baths with candles. Get a new haircut or hair color. Buy some new underwear or comfy pajamas. Stop spending free time watching TV…at least for the time being. You need to connect with YOU.

As far as wedding planning…it’s temporary. And it’s hard. But reach out to FI and ask for help. I wouldn’t expect it from anyone else. Sorry to say that but it’s true…it’s your wedding. Even if people say they want to help, just do it yourself. I am usually a supporter of accepting help when offered but with weddings, I’m learning it’s a different story. Just keep reminding yourself this will end and at the end of it…you will be married.

For me, a lot of stress came on the more wedding magazines or websites I visited. So I stopped. I limit my time on WB. I just try to focus more on non wedding stuff.

 

Hugs to you!!!

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