Post # 1
I’m having a dilemma. I’ve only been engaged for a month, and we’ve already talked about 3 different places to have our ceremony. Everyone tells me that it’s my day, but I have no idea what I want. I’ve never really cared about having a wedding because I don’t want to spend a lot of money on it. My fiance tells me I would regret not having a ceremony, but I think he says that because his mother regretted not having one for her first marriage. He has told me that it’s ultimately my decision, and he’ll support whatever I want to do, but I’m just clueless. Our families are huge, so we either have to have a gigantic wedding or hurt a lot of feelings. I just want to go to the courthouse, have a great honeymoon, then come back and have a party to celebrate. This is so stressful!!
Post # 3
I can completely relate to your situation. I”m sure a lot of us can. You’ve only been engaged for one month. It’s not that long in the grand scheme of things. I suggest you start googling pics of weddings, beach weddings, courthouse weddings, backyard weddings, church weddings, etc etc. Google pics of gowns, and wedding decor. See if anything strikes you as interesting, or something that you might want, and build around it. Maybe consider doing a quiet ceremony for just the two of you, or for just your imediate families if small is what you want, and then a large reception/party for everyone to celebrate with you. It took us threee months and TONS OF different ideas thrown back and forth about where, when, how , how big, how small, who’s invited, who’s not, etc etc etc. Before we finally figured it out. (Which just happened last week btw) Hang in there. You’ll figure it out! 🙂
Post # 4
@Crazyhair: Thanks for the suggestions/encouragement! I think I’m just feeling stressed because it seems like everyone wants all of the details, has suggestions, etc, and I’ve got nothing! Also, I’m studying for grad school comps, so I’m super crazy right now. I’m going to take a deep breath and calm down. What did you decide on for yours?
Post # 5
Try to remember that this is the one wedding you get to plan for you and your Fiance and you both should enjoy it. Some ideas that might help are to look at wedding planning guides. We used one called instant wedding planner which had a whole section at the front that Fiance and I did together. It asked us questions about our priorities and had some helpful charts to fill in. Once I had a handle on what parts of the wedding were important to us it was a ot easier to start planning. For us it was we both wanted a church wedding, and a family party after.
I’ve found with family its a lot easier to come to them and say “I’m so excited we decided on ____ for the wedding aren’t you!” Then ask them for ideas. If I do ask for ideas I make sure I”m specific- “We’re looking for a lace wedding dress, which of these do you like?” instead of “what dress should I get?”
Also don’t feel bad telling people, “I’m super excited about being engaged, but I have to get through exams before I can kick off the planning.” Its your life and you can prioritise however you want. Maybe ask them to send you an email of any super helpful suggestions, that you can look through when your ready to focus on the planning part.
I can totally sympathise with the family wanting way more of a wedding then you- we are in the same situation. I feel like they will enjoy themselves once the day of the wedding is here, and until then I just remind myself that I only get one chance to make these memories with my Fiance and I need to make sure that we are happy with them.
Good Luck with the planning
Post # 6
@amberiam: Wedding planning guides are a great suggestion too. 🙂 Comps have to come first. Don’t feel bad about that. You’ve got as much time as you choose to figure things out! 🙂 We finally decided on having only our immediate families at a very small, simple ceremony in a local little botanical gardens, followed by taking them out to a nice dinner/cake here in town. I’ll literally have barely any decor, nothing to plan, etc. I started out thinking it was going to be one way, and I started buying decor, that now I can’t use because I thought I had to “get going!!!” I wish I had been a little more patient, because now I have all of this crap in my sun room that I won’t use. haha. The next day we are going to have a giant 80’s prom party for all of our friends and family. That’s just a fun bonus. I’d seriously be okay with just the ceremony/dinner with our families. 🙂
Post # 7
I feel you girl! When I really think about it, I just want to take all this wedding budget money and put it on a down payment for a car or a house! But I realize that this is a once in a lifetime occassion and I want it to be memorable for the both of us and our families. You’re not alone!
Post # 8
You know, if you really don’t care whether there is a ceremony that everyone witnesses you have so many choices. Courthouse, honeymoon, and party sounds great! Or a “weddingmoon” a destination wedding with a few friends. But if someone you know really wants you to have the traditional shindig, and you’re actually ambivalent about it, why don’t you let them plan it? While personally couldn’t imagine doing that myself (control freak who loves planning over here) I can say that if I really just wanted it to be pretty and fun I have a mom and 3 friends who would happily plan a wedding for me, and I would like it.
Maybe that’s a good avenue?
Or the Disney Escape Collection… if you like Disney… it’s for up to 20 people, and it’s $5000 including a meal and ceremony.