- 8 years ago
I am not sure how to not make this into a short novel, but here it goes…basically, I moved home from college because I couldn’t bear being 200 miles away from my boyfriend. Soon after he proposed. The economy being what it is, I couldn’t find a job in my field of study(teaching…crazy right?) so I lived with my mom. She moved hundreds of miles away and because our house didn’t sell I stayed there and paid half the monthly rent. Murphy’s law being what it is, three days after she moved to be with my stepdad for good, the house sold(after being on the market for 6 months) and they wanted me out in 3 weeks. So I had a quick decision to make….financially there was no way I could afford an appartment that would let me rent for less than 6 months. So I could either live with my dad and stepmom(we will say they are “hard to get along with”) OR move in with my fiance less than 6 months before marriage. It was a choice of the lesser of two evils. I decided to be happy and move in with my future husband. After the final move, I went to my old church, expecting my dad to be there(of course they STRONGLY disagreed with my decision) but he wasn’t…his finger got stung by a rogue wasp…in February…lies? I don’t really care…but he wasn’t there for me. Again. And AGAIN my stepmother verbally accosted me in the sanctuary after the service, in front of about 20 people and proceeded to say some really terrible things that still knock the breath out of me. I sent them an angry letter(I think I had every right) and they sent me an equally angry letter which also left me no room for response because my dad essentually agreed with my stepmother, and then( for some unknown reason) spent the second half of the letter bashing my mother whom he hadn’t really spoken to in 20 years, and also lied to me about things that happened in the past. Cut to less than 2 months before the wedding and you get me an emotional wreck and my mother who came to visit me and help me create an outline for ceremony and reception. I am at the point that I don’t even want them there because I am afraid that I will spend the whole day focusing on my dad and stepmom, and not my husband. I am afraid I will be too angry to be in love. What am I supposed to do? I have already asked my brother to walk me down the aisle because if dad is there, I don’t want to add insult to injury. But my brother wants things to go back to “normal” and to be “ok.” I think things stopped being ok when my dad met my stepmom. How do I tell my brother that I am not angry, but I am hurting. I am tired. I am worried. And I don’t want reconciliation. I want peace…I want my father to be a dad. Not an unknown uncle. I want my father to not let a decision to go against what he thinks I should do affect how he feels about me. What do I do now? I don’t want them there…and I know that if I don’t send them the invitation they will never speak to me again…of course they haven’t spoken to me since the letters from 6 months ago. I am tired of always begging forgiveness for something I am not sure I did….and I won’t beg for forgiveness for making a choice that I think was right. So…do I focus on my dad for the rest of my life, or take a new path and live my life and focus on my new husband and our lives together?