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I don't feel like a bride :(

posted 1 year ago in Emotional
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    1.
    200 posts
    Helper bee
    bee-gotten    September 11, 2010   Canada

    Hi ladies:

    I am getting married in a little over 2 months ! YIPPEE ! I am so looking forward to finally being a Mrs. to the most wonderful man I could imagine.

    Here's my little vent and I'm hoping other brides can shed light on this, maybe let me know they feel the same, somewhat?

    I don't feel like a bride. We didn't have an engagement party. More importantly, no one from his family (and there are lots of them!) congratulated us on our engagement. His best man is non-exsistent. His parents are giving us grief over the guest list and venue and yet they contributed nothing money wise. Emotionally, they aren't even there for us. I never had a lot of girlfriends, so maybe that's the problem? I only have my Maid of Honor and one other maid who lives 4 hours away. I am having a mini-shower, but no bachlorette. I guess what I'm trying to say is, there is not a lot of "buzzing" going on about my wedding. Frankly, I could give a rat's ass in a way, because i just want to marry my love. But on the other hand, shouldn't I feel a little more like the "blushing bride to be?".  I know the day of the wedding will be amazing. I just thought the 9 months prior would be somewhat electrifying too.

     
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    Sugar bee
    littlemissmoo    July 18, 2010   London, UK

    It'll feel like it closer the time. At two months out I definitely was like that. FH's family were wrapped up in their own problems and my family were busy doing other things. FH and I were doing so much DIY it ended up feeling more like work than anything else. But I'd have regular contact with friends overseas who were really excited and supportive of me and that helped. Just busy yourself with other stuff. Or blog about it, if you aren't already. The online brides are always there for each other and when you share ideas and bounce things off them it's a great way to feel more bridal about the whole thing.

     
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    Helper bee
    lilybay    October 2, 2010  

    I'm sorry you aren't feeling like a bride.  Just remember that no one will ever be as excited about your wedding as you are - which is maybe why you feel like no one is "buzzing" about it. 

    We did not have an engagement party and it's unlikely that I will have a bachelorette party, although I will have a shower.  The only times I've really felt like a bride were when I was at a wedding show and when I was dress shopping.  Wedding planning is stressful - I thought being engaged would be like a fairy tale every day - but it's really not.

    I think it's most important that you feel like a bride on your wedding day!!  And you will!  You'll get there!!

     
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    Helper bee
    PaperCrane       Married!

    I'm sorry your not getting the out pouring of support you deserve. This should be a really happy time for you and both of your families. To be honest I don't feel very "bridey" either. Both my family and his are being really helpful, but I don't feel super excited about being engaged like I'm "supposed to". Apart from going dress shopping with my bridesmaids they haven't really played any role in the planning, and it's like pulling teeth to get my fiance to talk about wedding plans. So all of the planning and execution is kind of sucking the fun out of the engaged stage. 

    My advice is to not stress too much about what other peoples reaction is, and try to find some aspect of the wedding that really excites you. For me the thing that I'm looking forward to the most is having our one on one photo shoot with the photographer (aside from actually getting married of course)

    maybe for you it will be walking down the aisle towards your love or wearing a dress you feel really special in. Find that thing that can lift your spirits even when you aren't feeling as excited as you should be.  

     
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    Worker bee
    MissHay    September 16, 2010   Currently traveling the world!

    I feel that way sometimes too... I read somewhere that's it's totally normal, because these feelings are the body's natural reaction to change.  So try to find comfort in the fact that you're human! :)

     
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    Worker bee
    Amira    April 22, 2011   South Jersey/Philadelphia

    I completely understand. I live 7 hours from my family and bridal party so no parties or showers for me because no one seems to care enough to get something together. People seem to be talking to me more only to vent about why I'm not getting married in Ohio (my home state) then to offer congratulations. 

     

    It's been pretty lonely thus far planning a wedding by myself (FI doesn't really care too much about anything other than the music) since I don't have any friends here. 

     

    Maybe things will change as the date gets closer, but if the last seven months are any indication I doubt it. 

     
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    200 posts
    Helper bee
    bee-gotten    September 11, 2010   Canada

    @Amira: So just know you are not alone, and hey, at least we have Wedding Bee right?? CONGRATS !

     
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    878 posts
    Busy bee
    brittanymichelle    June 5, 2010   Cheyenne, Wy

    i kinda felt the same way.. i felt more like an event planner than a bride.. never had an e-party, no bridal shower, and only 4 of my friends even showed  up to my bach party, and only two actually stayed for the whole thing... it made me very sad, but now that i'm married,i know i truly am lucky because i have the best husband and parents in the whole world!!

     
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    Bumble bee
    Miss Chocolate    July 24, 2010   Texas... Married in California

    Not even kidding, it took me a long time to feel like a bride! It just sort of hit me 2 days before our "one month left" mark!! I'm telling you, it WILL hit you!! And it will be amazing and you'll get excited/be happy/everything will be awesome!! Hang in there, doll!! For the longest time, I felt like I was planning one of my best friends' weddings! Even at my bridal shower, I felt like I was there for someone else ;] But it hit me and the excitement of it all has been fun!! It'll happen for you!

     
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    Helper bee
    jjwedding    May 14, 2011   Victoria, BC

    I know what you mean... I've had no to very help from anybody except my FI... no let me check out that ring or parties or anything... what people seem to forget is that we're planning and we dont have the money in the world yet everybody want to do something and dont understand when i say i'm sorry i cant the wedding cost more then you think...

    anyways Congrats!!! your getting marry!!!!

     
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    Sugar bee
    SweetRose2011    March 9, 2010  

    That's how I've felt a little too. With my completely nonexistant "family" and us just starting to make plans I don't feel totally like a bride yet. But I'm sure it will get there. Give it time!

     
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    Worker bee
    starrynight    August 30, 2010  

    Oh, gosh.  I've had no engagement party, no bridal shower, no bachelorette party, nothing.  My mother is planning most of it because I'm swamped with grad school.  My bridesmaids live 10-15 hours away.  We got legally married a month ago because there was no other way for us to get a marriage license (thanks to the military), so I've spent all my free time (yeah, right), changing my name because of course I only have so much time after my *legal* marriage to do that.  Talk about not feeling like a bride!  And yeah, I'd really hoped everyone would be excited for us, but no one really cares.  So I totally get it.  I never thought I'd actually get married, which may be part of it.  Like you, I didn't think I'd much care, because I've found the most amazing man in the world, but I wish this time was as amazing as I always thought it would be.  You're not alone.

     

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