- 7 years ago
- Wedding: April 2011
Ok, i know this is ridiculous but i feel so sad and there is nothing i can do to make me feel better. Maybe writing down my thoughts is a good start to handle this.
Everyone here keeps saying how much the wedding changed their relationship, that the wedding was the best day ever and how much they enjoyed being a newlywed. Recently someone started a thread about the honeymoon and everyone commented that their honeymoon was wonderful and it almost made me cry. I don’t feel like a newlywed at all!
DH and i have been together for over six years and we’ve been living together since then. I knew getting married wouldn’t change much in our relationship. We have always been very close and felt as if we were already husand and wife, and making it official by signing a paper doesn’t make a difference.
We got married while we were on vacation in Florida. When we booked the flights we told my parents to come with us because we had already been on vacation with them and it was fun. That was before we decided to get married there and when we started planning the wedding we thought it would be ok to have my parents with us. Ok, so we got married and had a nice day and everything.
But now that we are back home i feel like we did everything wrong. I regret that it wasn’t just the two of us. Our wedding was in the middle of our vacation which means that we spent the rest of the time with our parents instead of having a romantic time as a couple in love. Our wedding night wasn’t special because we both were really tired and fell asleep immediately. And the next morning i felt terribly sick. We didn’t drink alcohol so it definately wasn’t a hangover, DH thinks it was some kind of sunstroke . So i couldn’t even enjoy waking up in our beautiful hotel room overlooking the beach and the atlantic ocean.
Today we’ve been married for 5 weeks and i don’t feel like a newlywed at all, i never did. I miss the excitement and romance and i feel like we missed a really important part in our lives by not having a”real” honeymoon. Just the two of us enjoying “us”, raving about our wedding, being in “paradise” and having an exciting time before returning to the daily routine. It’s been our 4th time in Florida and as much as we love it there i just miss that we didn’t go to dream-like place.
I really wish we could go on a real honeymoon, or at least a mini-moon on a weekend to get that romantic “crazy-in-love”-feeling. But currently our money is more than tight and we can’t even afford going out for dinner.
And what makes it even worse is that no one cares about our wedding, no one sent us a gift ( probably because no one was invited). The only gifts we got are from DH’s coworkers (that was already before we left) and the owner of our hotel in Florida, technically those people are complete strangers but they care more than our own family and friends. People i haven’t spoken to in years leave a nicer comment on Facebook than those that i consider close. DH’s mother doesn’t call, his brother said “congratulations, you’ll get a gift someday” and then changed the topic immediately, and my closest friend didn’t even send a card. The person who used to be my best friend wrote “congratulations” on my Facebook wall, and that’s all! No call, no email, nothing. Are you kidding me???
Oh, and it’s not really about the gifts: but not getting gifts or cards increases my “anti-newlyweds” feelings. I totally miss having that special feeling and being excited, even if it was only for a few days.
DH says i’m never satisfied, i will always find something to complain about and that i always only see the negative things instead of being happy with the good things. He’s right, i’m always like that and i’m annoyed by myself.
Anyone here feel/ felt the same? If so, how did you deal with it?