Post # 1
This past weekend, my wedding date has changed from next May to December 30th, potentially, of this year. This will mean us getting married over Christmas break and me finishing up my senior projects after the wedding and taking a long honeymoon after I graduate. Lots to think about, especially considering I am taking online courses right now and go back to school in a month so wedding planning is a bit of a squeeze up till the big day.
On top of that, I don’t have much help here. My FH and mom are the only people working with me on this right now, my FMIL is awesome but is 8 hours away and sad she cannot help me out more with details. My close friends I hope to be in the wedding are out of town. My FH is also gone a lot of the time as he is needed back home for his brother’s wedding in September. He is best man and I wish I didn’t feel so selfish about this but I really need him here with me to help get our wedding on the road. I know, I know, you only get one day… but it’s hard for me to be away from my FH while FSIL is constantly taking him away for her own wedding plans. :/ I’m thrilled to marry him and be with my best friend even as the school year is hard finishing up my degree…. I just wish I was excited about something so far.
Some days I just don’t feel ‘special’ enough to plan. Is this even normal? Did anyone else go through stages where everything wedding seemed dull and like going through the motions to plan? I was abused as a young girl, so I’ve been thinking this may have something to do with my self-image. I struggle with feeling worthless a lot, even though I know this is not true and have been through therapy. Does anyone else feel this way and does wedding planning only add to a bride’s self-esteem issues?
Thanks for reading, I honestly just feel better writing this and hope I’m not the only one.
Post # 3
I understand, dear! Some days, I just don’t feel like it either because all of my family/friends are from out of town. It’s just no fun to do BM dresses and crafts and whatnot by yourself.
Post # 4
I feel like that a lot. I feel like I dont deserve a beautiful wedding and a shower and everything else that goes along with it. I really didn’t have anything as a child happen except my parents divorce, but I have been like this most of my life. I have very low confidence too. I have considered going to therapy but I just haven’t convinced myself too yet. Maybe you should talk to someone again and maybe I should take my own advice lol. I hope it gets better for you.
Post # 5
Oh this is definitely normal (in my book). I literally JUST wrote a post called Encouragement For Frustrated Brides. I felt this way quite a bit (we went through a lot of date changes, venue crap, budget issues) and finally picked a firm date – which felt wonderful. I still feel like this sometimes, but like the post I mentioned above says, it just feels really good to get things done. I just graduated in May, so I get the school stuff – I’m also starting another program in September, so I’m trying to get as much as possible done by then.
My advice is to make yourself be very organized. Get the big things out of the way, and make “mini deadlines” for smaller things so you don’t overwhelm yourself. A lot of wedding planning is just making decisions – which can be really hard. I almost have to MAKE myself be more decisive.
Good luck and congrats – don’t feel weird about it, a LOT of bees have felt or feel the same way!
Post # 6
Welcome to the Club – some days I feel like I’m doing this all for myself, when FI is basically just someone to run stuff by, when the moms tell me they will get stuff done but don’t, etc.
Then some days I happy and giddy with excitement for the day and so pumped to be marrying my FI.
I think it’s normal and maybe you could start Skyping with FI every few days or so to discuss wedding stuff? Bringing him on board will make him accountable and give the chance to get stuff off your chest.
Post # 7
I hear ya! I feel like e-mail and facebook messaging everyone the invitations and wearing yoga pants to the ceremony.
It’s difficult when their is a lot of etiquette and expectations regarding weddings! There is always something to be worried about or to be choosing. Having a disonnected support system just makes it all ten times harder because you feel like its all you!
Just do what feels right when planning, make it simple and meaningful- don’t worry about what other people think.
Post # 8
I can understand where you’re coming from! If my date was moved up, that would be automatic stress and frustration for me. I’m coming from somewhat of a similar place, in that leading up to our wedding, I will be finishing up a school year, writing report cards, packing up a classroom, and finishing grad school. We actually purposely picked the end of June just so there would be a few weeks in between the end of the year and our wedding!
I think you’re just feeling a lot of stress. It’s hard when you don’t have a lot of help :-(. I would make a list of things you know you will need your FI’s help. Then, sit down with your FI and talk about a timeline of when you want to get those things accomplished.
Good luck! I can understand where you’re coming from–my FI is currently living 5 hours away, so we’ve been having to do a lot of planning over the phone. I’m just really, really thankful for my mom!