Post # 1
First it’s hard for me to even write this post, makes me feel vunerable guess it touhes on my feelings of inadeqaucy as far as being measured by people. Starting out in my late teens/early 20’s I became an esthetician as I didn’t know yet what my passions were going to be. At 23 my grandpa passed away suddenly, and within a year my grandma was diagnosed with parkinsons. Less than a year later she was deemed unable to drive and with no other family nearby it made sense for me to move in. I wasn’t married, and it worked out for us both, and seemed right since she pretty much raised me. I’m 29 now, and getting married in Oct. Why I am I ashamed to say that I’m just a caregiver for my grandma? Do people view this as pathetic? be honest, I already imagine that they do…or am I being hard on myself? give it to me ladies, I want to know.
Post # 3
I don’t think so, many people make a living as a psw. I have a lot of respect for those who work with the elderly I know I wouldn’t have the patience.
Post # 4
You are being way too hard on yourself!
Being a caregiver is not an easy job!
Post # 5
You are being way too hard on yourself! No one should look down on you. If they do, they’re probably not worth knowing anyway. I’ve done a lot of care giving for my elderly family members, and I highly respect anyone else who takes on caring for a family member.
Post # 6
@punkin83: I view this to be far from pathetic. I have a grandmother who is very ill (she has scleroderma if anyone has ever heard of it). I was a college student who was helping take care of her, cleaning the house, cooking for a few years. No one else in my family stepped up to the plate so I felt it was my duty. I was even questioned why there was such a large gap between employment. I explained and people to seem to understand. It’s a tough thing to do so I find it admirable. Not many people could say that they would do the same.
Post # 7
I don’t see it as pathetic at all. Taking care of somebody is a hard job, especially the elderly and the sick.
The only slightly “negative” thing that would run through my head if you told me that is “I wonder what she is going to do when her grandmother passes or she is unable to take care of her anymore (as in she might need skilled nursing you cannot provide)?”
Post # 8
Don’t be hard on yourself! Both of my parents are disabled and I took a year off from school to care for them and when I went back part-time at night, I didn’t have a job, because my days were full taking care of them, going to doctors, etc. I do admit to feeling down about it a lot, but in retrospect, it was the best choice to have made. Be proud of what you do!
Edit: Some states actually give a stipend to caregivers. My state doesn’t, but a few do. It might be worth looking into.
Post # 9
I see it as pretty noble. Giving up a lot torare for someone else is not pathetic.
Post # 10
I would say that you’re an elderly caregiver if they ask. Even though I get the impression you aren’t paid, there are many people who do this for a career. As long as you like what you do, who you are, there is nothing wrong with it!
Post # 11
Not only is it amazing, I think it will be a marketable skill once you’ve moved on to try and find a job.
Post # 12
me and my sibblings she the care of our grandmother, and it’s like having a 2nd job! Every saturday and sunday I’m there at 6am and leave at 1pm or 2pm.
No one looks down on you honey.
Post # 13
It takes a special person to do what you do. Be proud that you are the type of person to put your family first.
Post # 14
There is no “just” about being a primary care giver. It’s one of the hardest jobs out there. And I can’t think of a single person I know who wouldn’t agree with this. I don’t think anyone would look down on you for this and I think you should be proud of what you do.
While gettting my graduate degree I took two years off to be my mother’s primary care giver (she was diagnosed with terminal uterine cancer). I was really worried about how I would get back into my profession after such a long break. I had to do a bit of free interning to get back in the swing of things, but after that, I got the first job I applied for and they actually commented that they thought my time as a primary care giver made me more mature and better qualified for my job.
You’re doing a great thing for your grandmother and your entire family (i’m sure they feel better knowing that someone who loves her is caring for your grandmother). It’s easy to take caregivers for granted, but please realize that this is something to be proud of.
Post # 15
You are doing a great thing for your grandmother and the rest of your family. My mom does this for my grandmother who has Alzheimer’s disease, along with help from my aunt. She also works two jobs part-time outside the home, mostly because she has to financially, but I know her life would be easier and she’d be able to give more to my grandmother if being her caregiver was her only job.
I watch my mom do it and I just cannot imagine how difficult it must be, especially because my grandmother does not even understand that she needs care! There is no reason to be ashamed of this at all, you should be proud of yourself for stepping up and doing what is needed. Good for you!
Post # 16
thanks ladies, i’m starting to feel a little better:) I guess it’s mostly b/c any MIL would want the most for their son, and that means a fantastic girl WITH a degree as far as MILs go these days. I am fortunate enough to have quarterly earnings on stocks and accounts that my dear grandpa left me. This year, I was able to contribute 28k in savings to contribute to our down payment, and with my FIs savings able to put much forward on the principal of our home were buying. BUT I still don’t and maybe wont have a career. I just hope they don’t see me as a loser, as his sisters are all teachers and such..