Post # 1
I have a MOH who was my best friend in high school. We don’t talk or hang out very often but when we do, it’s just like how it used to be. Other than that, I only have one bridesmaid… who is my FI’s sister.
I don’t want it to be blatantly obvious that I don’t have any friends. I contemplated asking my brother’s (long-term) girlfriend but I’m not so sure about doing that. FI is having 3-4 groomsmen and while matching numbers on both sides isn’t of any concern to me, he has his brother and the rest are his friends. Mine is my friend and his sister. :/
I don’t have any sisters or any cousins that I’m close to. So I’m at a loss of what to do!
Post # 2
It’s fine as long as they are haopt and supportive, you only need people there for you who love you! I only have my 2 sisters and my bestie and I couldn’t be happier, less drama, less personalities, less stress, more about you!!!
Post # 3
jenny1217: happy I meant lol
Post # 4
heatherdanyel: Like you said, it doesn’t matter if the two sides “match”. This is a second time around for me, and one of the valuable lessons I learned was that you don’t have to just have people stand with you because you have to make up numbers. Only have people that mean something to you, and will be a special addition to your day.
Post # 5
well, i wouldn’t ask people to be in your wedding just for the sake of filling a spot. and i wouldn’t ask your bro’s girlfriend either. my bro’s girlfriend of 6-7 years was supposed to do my wedding makeup and 2 months before my wedding i found out that they had broken up. i ended up doing my own makeup, which i was fine with, but it still threw a wrench in our plans.
just have your best friend and sister in law if they’re the only ones you really want to ask. trust me, you’ll save yourself a lot of stress- the more girls you have, the more drama you’ll have. no one will be sitting at your ceremony thinking you’re some pathetic loser with no friends. i had 3 bridesmaids. a lot of people just have a maid of honor or no bridal party at all. it’s your day so you get to call the shots 🙂
Post # 6
heatherdanyel: I actually had the same problem. I have no sisters and have lost touch with most of my friends after moving to another state. I ended up with FIs sisters and SIL and 2 cousins I was very close with growing up and a long time female friend of FI. I felt so awful when I asked my former best friend to be a BM and she declined cause she is in 3 other weddings in the next year.
But I have no maid of honor and I feel the same way as you. I feel like it is going to be completely obvious that I dont have any close friends right now. Honestly though it doesnt even matter. Probably no one will notice and all that matters is that you are marrying FI that day!
Post # 7
I grew up thinking the two sides had to match, because that’s what everyone did. But it’s actually ridiculously common in other areas of the world for there to be lopsided bridal parties. In the case of my husband’s home country, it was common to have a Best Man stand up next to him but no one else, while the bride had several maids and matrons (which was what we ended up doing in the end).
There’s nowhere that says you have to have any bridesmaids, either.
Post # 8
Don’t ask people just for the sake of having more bridesmaids. If you only have 1 person you feel close enough to, then ask that 1 person. If I was the only bridesmaid I would be honoured. And guests will never look and think you don’t have friends – just that you wanted a small wedding party. You could always ask your FI if he could cus his groomsmen down (unless he has already asked). My FI has no one to be best man- hes not close with his brother, so we decided against a wedding party all together.
Post # 9
If you really want extra people could you ask your brother to be a bridesman? I think tgat would be nicer and less risky than asking his girlfriend
Post # 10
- Wedding: August 2008 - Toronto, ON
I feel your pain. My best friend is muslim so she wasn’t able to be in my wedding party due to me wanting all the bridesmaids wearing strapless dresses, so because of her religion she wasn’t able to be part of it, also because she didn’t feel comfortable walking up the aisle with another man besides her DH! I had a really close friend who I asked to be a bridesmaid but she was moving and not sure if she would still be in the country by the time we got married. I ended up having my sister as my maid of honour, a close friend as a bridesmaid and my sister’s friend as another bridesmaid because I wanted to match the groomsmen. Now my sister is getting married this summer and she is having me as her matron of honour and the her best friend the same girl that was in my wedding party and that is it and her FI is just going to have his 2 brothers as groomsmen. Also I never asked her friend to be in my wedding party, she offered as I lucked out. If you really want to match numbers there is nothing wrong with just having 2 bridesmaids in the wedding party my sister is going to do that because she can’t think of a third. Maybe see if your Fi would be ok with having 2 groomsmen instead so the numbers will be even.
Post # 11
I could have asked some friends or relatives to be bridesmaids, but decided to have just my daughter as maid of honor, and my husband had his brother as best man. That’s it. Best decision I made. It was so easy, so many hassles avoided.
Too many people treat a wedding as an extension of high school, a chance to show off how popular they are. Has your husband asked these men yet. If not, maybe he could cut down his side.
Post # 12
heatherdanyel: That’s OK. You don’t need to have a matching number of bridesmaids and you certainly shouldn’t ask random people who you’re not close with.
Post # 13
heatherdanyel: I didn’t even want to have many BMs. Originally, I was just going to have my sister and my bestie from HS- who– like you– we don’t get to see eachother or even talk often anymore (we live a solid 35 minutes from eachother and we both have kid(s)). But then we decided we wanted all of our siblings included, so my bro was a groomsmen, and my husband’s teo sisters were BMs, too– so I did have four- but three were sisters! No biggie, and easy to deal with.
My cousin- who has a lot of friends/cousins/SILs- could have easily had a large bridal party. There were over 300 guests invited to her wedding. But she chose just three people-
don’t sweat it!!
Post # 14
heatherdanyel: I’m in the same boat, happily 🙂 I don’t have friends outside of Fi’s friends. I have always kepot to myself. I’m on outgoing introvert lol I love to go out and have fun and socialize but the majority of my time, needs to be me time. My sister is MOH and my FSIL is my bridesmaids. FI has his best friend as best man, another good friend and my little brother as groomsman. And I woudln’t have it any other way. Do what you want! You don’t need extra people, you want to feel comfortable IMO. You will be great no matter what!
Post # 15
I don’t have a lot of friends either. My ladies are my BFF, FSIL, FI’s close friend, and the girl I babysat for 3 years. So, yeah, I have one close friend that I didn’t borrow from FI. There will be only 2 groomsmen though, because that’s how many close male friends FI has. There are no male cousins close by, and my brother would not be interested in a wedding. Point is, our sides will be uneven, and small, but they will represent who we love and who loves us, and that’s what is ultimately important.