Post # 1
My fiance has picked 6 guys to be his groomsmen, all friends he has had for years. I am having a terrible time trying to pick my bridesmaids. I have moved around a lot lately and just really don’t feel like I have enough close friends to pick as bridesmaids. I have my MOH and two other bridesmaids for sure but I am having such a hard time with the other 3. I have a lot of new friends that I would consider but I question whether they will still be good friends in a few years. I don’t have any sisters, just 2 brothers and my mom has suggested I have them. I don’t know though, I don’t want it to be blatantly obvious that I don’t have enough good friends. This is seriously the biggest stressor and the most painful thing for me, I try to avoid thinking about it at all costs but I know I can’t put it off forever. What do you think?
Post # 3
You definitely do not need to have as many bridesmaids as your FI. You can simply have each of your 3 BMs (incl. your MOH) walk down with 2 groomsen – one on each arm. I might end up having one extra groomsman than bridesmaid and that’s how we’ll deal with it. I’ve seen it done before and it’s totally no big deal. And for you it even sounds perfectly symmetrical – 6 groomsmen and 3 BMs = 2 guys per girl. It works nicely. People will NEVER think that you don’t have enough good friends. There is no set number of BMs people have to have – you have chosen to have a smaller number because these are the significant people in your lives – there is not a single person who is going to think “oh look at her she must not have good friends” because you have 3 BMs.
I don’t think you should stress yourself over trying to pick people you don’t feel close with to be in your wedding party…it weakens the significance of having the 3 you do care about be part of your wedding. Also, think about years from now looking back at pictures – you will wonder why you chose these extra people you aren’t really close with to be in your wedding. Good luck and hope this doesn’t keep stressing you out so much!
Post # 4
Definitely do not stress about this. I may also have more GM’s than BM’s. I think it’s more important to have those close to you stand with you rather than trying to hit a certain number. Jalter is exactly right about how to get them down the aisle.
Post # 5
As others have said, there is no reason you must have 6 GMs. If you’ve got 3 people you want, have those 3 people. Choosing someone just to make up the numbers is never a good idea.
However, if you’re close to your brothers and they *are* your friends, I wouldn’t hesitate to include them on your side. My sister’s husband had his 2 sisters as his attendants (we had an all female wedding party! It was a blast!) and no one thought it was because he had no friends – it was because they are very important people in his life and he wanted them standing up beside him 🙂
Post # 6
don’t stress about adding additional bridesmaids. i always think of it in terms of “when i look at my pictures 20 years from now am i still going to be in touch with these people?” my FI has 9 groomsmen (mainly family…we both have a lot of siblings) but he also included 3 friends. i have 7 bridesmaids (again mainly family) and didn’t want to add 2 additional friends just for the even numbers. like jalter said, you can always have 2 groomsmen for 2 bridesmaid.
Post # 7
I totally agree with loveBuzz – in 20 years do you want to look back and say “Wow I wish I would have just stuck with 3; i don’t even talk to half these girls any more!”? Truthfully, if I was a guest, I wouldn’t give a second thought. But, on the off chance that i did, I’d assume you had so many friends that you really wanted to just choose the few who have been there for years. I def. wouldn’t think that you didn’t have enough friends!
Good luck! And if you want your brothers standing up with you, ask them! 🙂
Post # 8
Just have the 3 bridesmaids. It’s totally not a big deal anymore.
I think it’s best to have your 3 besties with you, than 3 besties and 3 “sortas”.
Just tell the girls they’ll get to pimp it out with two groomsmen at the wedding =]
PS i missed you have brothers. Ask them! Taht’s totally common nowadays and really sweet I think
Post # 9
You can either have uneven or ask your brothers!
I was in the same boat-FI wanted 7 & I wanted 5- so we settled with 6! I don’t have tons of friends either!
Post # 10
I love the idea of 3 BM’s and each girl get’s 2 groomsmen!! 🙂
I totally feel you though. I don’t have too many close girlfriends either. 🙁
I HAD three BM’s to begin with – but one backed out on me and honestly I don’t have any other close girlfriends who would want to be a bridesmaid. I do feel for you – but I think having the 1 girl/2 guys could look pretty cool!
Post # 11
yes, I think it’s fine to be “uneven”, but are there any aunts or cousins you could still list as “honory BMs” on your program if nothing else? Just a thought!
Post # 12
Can I just say that I’m really struggling with this as well!! FI has 4 guys…and I’m having a terrible time finding anybody!!
I have no younger female relatives–no sisters or anything like that. I have a few cousins that I haven’t spoken to in years and years, but I think having them would be awkward. So I initially asked my mother to be my MOH, but she said that she’d rather keep it more traditional and keep her role as mother of the bride.
THEN I (too hastily) asked another girl that’s a friend of FI’s (and who was *extremely* interested in helping me plan, hence the BM offer)…but she trashed our apartment and cost us upwards of $500 without taking responsibility for her actions…FI and I both agreed that we’d rather not have her back after that.
I’ve lost touch with a lot of my friends from college/high school, and I’ve just recently moved to the area, so I don’t have a whole lot of people that I’ close with. I’ve asked some coworkers and som new friends…3 so far…and so far everybody seems to have made plans already (is Memorial Day that big of a holiday?). I have 5 1/2 months left…I’m getting down to the wire here…BM dresses take time…I’m starting to wonder if these girls are telling the truth or if they’re just weirded out because I haven’ t known them that long…this is messing with my head!
So…uh…I think what I’m trying to say is, I feel your pain!
Post # 13
I think that it’s ok to be uneven.I don’t know if it was suggested and I didn’t read, but does your FI have to have 6? Could he have 3 to match your 3? Just a suggestion.
Post # 14
Don’t worry. Remember beside you should be the people that truly support your relationship. You don’t want to look back and see “fillers”. If that is 3 people or 1, so be it.
Post # 15
I wouldn’t stress about it. We both ended up with his family as the BM and GM (his dad and his sister) because we didn’t have a lot of close friends that were able to come (my best friend had to cancel because her stupid professor would fail her if she missed the one class). I think it’s better to have people that you really care about than just someone to fill the shoes. Unless some of the new people seem like they will become great friends, don’t ask them.
Post # 16
They really dont have to match but maybe I am saying that just because I have 4 and the hubby was struggling to get even 3. I am sure no one at your wedding is going to look at your wedding party and go “oh she must not have any friends”