- 5 years ago
- Wedding: December 2013
First, we’d planned a destination wedding… I felt bad because my mom would have had to pay for 3 other people to attend (aunt/sister/gramma) because they are all jobless and/or retired, so I called off that idea.
We changed course and began planning a wedding on our family farm. It was great and everyone wanted to be involved. Then my bridesmaid whom I thought was a good friend declared she wouldn’t come unless she could bring a friend to stay at my house with us (among other issues related to travel and money). I said no, there was a fallout, and I lost a bridesmaid AND friend. Regardless, we continued planning the wedding. My family put together a crazy guest list of 200 guests altogether, but still, they were helping me plan and I was happy with that.
My fiancee told me last week that he didn’t believe my family could pull it off; he feels they may be all talk now and will flake when the time comes to deliver… and we will be scrambling to keep a wedding together on our own. I somewhat agree with him. My family can be unreliable. He then told me that my sister rolled her eyes during a conversation they’d had about a bachelorette party, claiming that she “can’t believe she has to waste her time planning this party crap”. This hurt my feelings.
Now, if we still choose to go ahead with the farm wedding, we have to pay for 4 of my FI’s family members to fly here to be able to attend, I have to have a no-fail plan in case my family flakes, and we have to shell out a lot of money for it despite our frugal planning.
We considered a hotel wedding where everything is covered for us, but the cost is more than we can afford, especially when we have to help his family travel to our wedding.
We have considered eloping, but I feel like I’d be missing out on the real “wedding” feeling. I want to actually celebrate but I feel like nothing I’m trying to plan is working out. I sometimes think we should just call it off and just be commonlaw. That way there’s no cost and nothing changes. Has anyone else ever had so many issues in planning a wedding? what did you end up doing?