Post # 1
A family member called me from overseas to tell me that my grandma who was 103 passed away. My mother does not know this,she thinks that she is alive(but very sick) My sister passed away 4yrs ago, my step father passed away 6 months ago after living with my mom for over 25 yrs. My mom is having MAJOR anxiety problems, she cant sleep, her blood pressure is high and her diabeters is high too. As of know my mother cant not travel overseas, due to financial reasons and she is taking care of my niece and nephew(my disease sister kids). I dont know what to do, my grandma death will desvastate my mom, my mother had always had a very hard life.
Post # 3
@brokeninnj: First off, my condolences to you and your family for all of your losses in such a short time of life. I can see how anxiety can be a real issue. Unfortunately, I think that your mother will, eventually, be more upset with you for not telling her if you continue to keep it a secret. I think you need to find a time where she’s calm in the near future, in person, and sit with her as she processes everything. It won’t be easy, yes it will devastate her, but as her child she’ll appreciate you for telling her. She’ll also need your support. Perhaps, spend a few days visiting. Talk to the relative and find a way your mother can be included in the burial/visitation so she can also say goodbye, only from a distance.
Post # 4
@brokeninnj: you have to tell her she died geeze
Post # 5
@brokeninnj: I am so very sorry you’re having to deal with this. That is a lot of BIG loss in a very short period of time. This is a horrible position to be in. I would recommend going over to your mom’s house to tell her the news. If you have any other family or if your mom has a good friend, I would enlist them to come with you. She is going to need a lot of support and love. Someone should stay with her after as well.
@cmbee: *Super* compassionate way to say that. She didn’t say she’s not going to tell her. She’s dealing with something really hard. No need to be harsh.
Post # 6
@cmbee: Not the best thing to tell her right now. Take a down a notch.
I am so sorry you and your family are going through such a rough time. You need to sit your mom down with some warm tea and comfort her and let her know you are there for her and then break the news to her and stay with her for the night (if you arent already sleeping in the same home) to give her that extra reassurance that you are there to support her. Waking up in the morning together will help her. I hope your mom is able to get through this a stronger woman and not feel defeated by all of these tragic events. 🙁
Post # 7
I’m so sorry to hear this.
I have a lot of anxiety in my family as well and it’s hard to deal with. I think you just have to do it. Obviously do it in person on a day when you can spend the rest of the day with her.
I don’t think there is a really good way to tell someone something like this.
Post # 8
My deepest condolences….
You have to tell her.. I’m sure she will realize that your grandmother (her mom?) was 103!! That’s a pretty amazing long life and something to be celebrated!
Post # 9
I’m sorry to hear about your loss.
I think that you should tell your mother. I’m assuming that this is her own mother, an I right? I’m thinking that it could actually be worse if she learns of your grandmother’s passing later on, and finds out that you knew right away but didn’t tell her. I think it’s better to have this conversation now, and support your mother through her grief.
A couple of years ago, I had to tell my dad that his mother had passed on unexpectedly. We got a call from her neighbour and I just happened to answer the phone. And then I had to call him at work and tell him over the phone. It’s definitely a difficult conversation to have, I won’t lie about that.
There is no easy way to say something like this to someone. But I hope it goes well for you. Good luck.