You can ask us and we can all take a guess, but there’s really only one way to find out. You’ll have to ask him.
There are guys who will date you for six years and drag their feet on proposing because they’ve gotten comfy and are enjoying the benefits of marriage (sex, companionship) without having to make it legal. **Note: this happens when the female allows it and does not put her foot down!
Then there are guys who will date you for six years and not propose because “they’re just not that into you” so to speak.
Unlike PPs I don’t think it’s that big of a deal that he said “he doesn’t like doing anything he can’t back out of.” I see that as a sign that he understands the seriousness of the commitment and that it’s not something to be taken lightly.
Given that you’ve been together six years, and it’s safe to assume that he has gotten verrrry comfortable and secure in the relationship, I think he needs a good kick in the pants. I know this might sound scary, but you need to work up your courage and have a serious discussion with him. You don’t tell HIM what to do. You tell him what YOU WANT TO DO.
Here is what you say:
- I love you with all of my heart and I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you.
- However, I’ve been thinking over what you said about “not being sure when you will propose because you don’t want to do anything you can’t back out of.”
- I respect your feelings, but it is my goal in life to have a happy marriage, and after six years in this relationship I don’t feel I can wait anymore for a “maybe.”
- I think it would be in MY BEST INTEREST to move out/break up with you so that I can move forward with MY LIFE and pursue my goals.
- I thank you for six wonderful years and I wish you the best.
And then my dear, you pack your bags and get ready to walk out the door. If he hems and haws and says “No wait, I really am going to propose in XXX weeks or XXX months or XXX years from now,” you keep walking. You put some big space between him and you, and you don’t assume that he’s going to change his mind and make a commitment or set the date. You join clubs, go out with friends, and re-invent your life without him. You make it loud and clear that until there is a ring on your finger and a date set, everything else is just conversation.
If this guy really loves you — if you two were really meant to be — he won’t let you walk out the door. He will take you to the nearest jewelry store and get this settled — even if all he can afford is a $10 Cracker Jack ring — and you will have your answer. (And by the way if he EVER so much as suggests that you pressured him or forced him to propose to you, take that ring off your finger and hand it right back to him.)
If he lets you walk out the door without stopping you, then he never really loved you enough in the first place. And if that is the case, wouldn’t it be much better for you to be looking for a new relationship than staying in one that is a dead end?
If you two had only been together for a short period, my advice would be different. But six years, come on.