(Closed) I don’t know if I can handle planning a wedding…

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2239 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Lol I hear you! Especially on the not having two nickels to rub together part. I’ve just had to resign myself to taking things one day at a time. And trying to remember that the end result is me being married to my amazing fiance. 


Post # 5
240 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I grew up near Cleveland and had my wedding there last year.  But I’ve been living in NYC for most of my adult life and my husband’s family are mostly east coasters, so I got tons of the same “Do we really have to go to Cleveland…?  Really?”  comments!  I’ve done my fair share of traveling to random places to attend weddings, so I didn’t let those comments bother me at all.

This may sound like such a familiar refrain right now, but you are still a year a way and have plenty of time to plan.  So take a deep breath and just enjoy it as best you can now!  Wedding blogs and magazines are over obsessed with the little, photograph-able details, but those definitely don’t need to be stressed over or taken care right now.  I think everyone gets really taken in at first by all the planning and decisions, so your feelings are totally normal!  

(there are some really awesome vendors in the NEOhio area so feel free to PM me if you need any local/Cleveland referrals!)

Post # 7
1079 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Well, weddings to cost money, but they can be done within your budget, whatever that may be. The sooner you have a date, a venue, caterer, your officiant, etc., the sooner you can tell people it’s set and their suggestions aren’t really useful any more. The most affordable venues will be owned by the city, county, etc. – e.g. $150 for http://culturalgardens.org/education-faq.aspx

Plan the wedding first, then plan extras for your family. We made brochures for out of town guests with suggested things to do.

Post # 8
10 posts

As far as the budget goes, if your parents are willing to help, let them.  Maybe don’t accept all that they’re offering if you’re worried about their financial situation, but you shouldn’t have to take on the entire burden yourself (especially since you want to buy a house, etc.).

It sounds like you have to fight a battle on each big item with your mom.  SO sorry!  I’ve experienced that with my mom already, and I haven’t been engaged a month!

I think setting expectations is big.  Maybe next time you’re sitting down with her (do it in person) say “I think we’re already butting heads a bit, and I thought it would be good to talk about our expectations so the rest of the process can be something we both enjoy.  The 3 big things I have my heart set on are “a,b,c” and I’ll be really disappointed if they don’t reflect me and my fiance’s taste.  However I know these other things are important to you, so let’s see that those happen”.

I did this with my mom, since I think I’d sob for days if I couldn’t get a great photographer (I’m a wedding photographer by trade) and the ceremony chapel I want (where we celebrated the life of one of my best friends).  Knowing I “won” on those two things makes it a LITTLE easier to compromise on the other things.

Good luck!

Post # 9
39 posts
  • Wedding: March 2011


Why don’t you compromise: If having a lot of guests is important to your parents, then ask them to pay for the food portion.. but explain what you are imagining and tell them they can have all the people they want if they foot the bill.  Then, pay for the rest yourselves and find a venue you love, etc.  That way everyone’s happy and there’s not push-pull over who has say because they are paying for it.  I’m sure you can find a lovely inexpensive venue (a new place looking for some word-of-mouth, a garden, a friend’s house) and decorate in your own style.  Good luck!

Post # 10
907 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

The thought of planning a wedding stresses me out too!  Because of that, my fiance and I found a really wonderful place that has wedding packages.  Everything is included for one price so we do not have a lot to plan.  We have a limited number of guests allowed which makes it easier to figure out who we really want to be with us at our ceremony.  We will have a casual reception a few weeks after the ceremony so we can invite everyone, but we will not have the pressure and expense of hosting a formal reception that is typically part of a wedding.  Have you looked around at bed and breakfasts or other types of venues in your area that might have packages?  You can still incorporate personal touches, but so much of the stress would be eliminated.  Our package is actually quite affordable, too.  If you just want a BBQ reception, you could do something similar to what we’re doing. 

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