I don't know if I want a wedding… help :(

posted 3 years ago in Elopement
Post # 3
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I understand your pain. We are going through the same thing. Right now our “small” wedding has turned into a 200 plus person affair that is quite far from our original thinking. I am torn as well because while all I want is just to be married to the man of my dreams, I also have family members who this is very important for. What do YOU want and what does your fiance want?

Post # 4
Member
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Monicaab:  Start from the scratch. Don’t focus on the “big”, “intimate”, “backyard”, “elopement” wedding.

Don’t label it.

Start writting in a piece of paper the people YOU want there. Then picture them in some place, celebrating the way you like it, and build it up from there. Consider FI, it is also his special day.

Don’t stress out, start slow!

Post # 5
Member
371 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Monicaab:  have you considered hiring a wedding planner? Or eloping? We decided to have a smaller wedding, with only about 100 guests on our list. We are not inviting people simply because they are related to us. We are having an intimate event with those who are close to us.

Post # 6
Member
8708 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

My husband and I had both. We got married justice of the peace style. Just our parents. In our living room next to our christmas tree with our cat and dog. It was amazing.

We also had a big white wedding. Honestly, I preferred the justice of the peace.

Post # 7
Member
4382 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

If you so t want a big wedding don’t feel pressured to have one. Elope if it will make you and your partner happy. Avoid the stress

Post # 9
Member
518 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@Monicaab:  Do you have a backyard, parents’ yard, or livingroom you could do something small with just parents and you guys there?

I am currenty stressing out about our venue size vs our guest list and it SUCKS! I keep telling myself that we should just say screw it and just have our friend come to the campsite by herself, grab two random strangers as witnesses and get married…lol. 

Post # 12
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I was afraid I would “miss out” on having a big wedding when we decided to have a small one, but as it turns out, it was AMAZING! No regrets.

Post # 13
Member
482 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - Maui

I feel the same as you.  I’m not officially engaged yet, but just thinking about planning a wedding and spending a ton of money on essentially just a party makes me ill.  I live in Japan, and weddings are very cookie cutter, you basically just choose the venue and the on-site wedding planner takes care of all the details, but doing it that way doesn’t make me feel any better either because I would still like to do something unique that suits us as a couple.  I’ve told my boyfriend and he agrees he doesn’t want to do it the standard way and is happy with a smaller, more personal celebration.  However, I understand the “all or nothing” feeling you have too, because my whole family is in the states, and while I would like them to come to my wedding, I don’t think they would come all the way to Japan for a small, casual celebration.  At this point I’m kind of thinking eloping to Hawaii would be a good solution.

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