(Closed) I don’t know if Mr. A and I are going to make it anymore

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 4
1144 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

First off I am so sorry. I cannot even imagine how you feel right now. My family is crazy and treats me like his family treats you however its easier for me because I just choose not to speak to them. I would sit down and talk to him and tell him everything you have just told us. Good luck my dear I hope things work out for you!

Post # 5
374 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

That’s horrible!!!  Has Mr. A tried talking to them about their behavior?  It’s one thing to not like a person, but something else to completely disrespect them.  It sounds like they need therapy.

Post # 6
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

Since its his family, I can’t make him choice me or them.


This? You should not have to. This isn’t your problem. It’s theirs. They have created a situation where they are causing drama. It’s time for him to take sides because thats what men do. If you cannot change the situation to make a peaceful life for yourself then he HAS to do it. And without your asking, because you shouldn’t have to. 

If he’s unable or unwilling to man up, then he’s made his choice. You need to do whats best for you and your daughter. 

Post # 7
827 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Oh hun I am so so very sorry.  You don’t deserve this at all, and honestly his family deserves to burn in hell for not only being so cruel to you, but to your darling daughter.   I think that there can be a future for you and Mr. A.  You two have been through so much together.  And you love him. 

But you have to have him draw the line.  You cannot be associated with his family while they treat you like this.  You need to tell him that it is breaking you apart.  He needs to know that you are considering leaving him over them.  I have a very strong suspicion that he does not want to lose you after all you have been through. 

I wish I could give you more advice, and I wish there was more than I can do, but I am so sorry because NO ONE deserves to be treated like this.  And it literally makes me sick to my stomach that anyone could treat someone so poorly, and be cruel to a young child.  Like I said…they’re going to burn in hell. 

Please let me know if there is anything I or anyone else can do.

Post # 8
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@SoontobeMrsA: (((Hugs))) to you. I am so sorry you are going through this.

I agree 100% with CorgiTales.

Post # 9
7296 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I am so sorry u have to go through this. one thing that stood out to me about your post is that you are currently spending a few days with them.  so it must seem to be at its worst when you are with them directly. is it possible to skip these things in the future.  you are committed to mr. A, not his family.  the only problem i can foresee you two as a couple is if Mr.A doesnt see this.  but everything else you have ever written on here about Mr.A, i dont think he would just drop you like that because of his family. Just hang in there and avoid his family at all costs.  in an ideal world, you could join his family and they would welcome and accept you, but if thats not the case, i dont think you need to continually put yourself and Annabelle in that situation.  next time he needs to spend time with his family, go out for some mother daughter time just you and Annabelle and feel amazing doing it!

FYI, i have a friend whose husbands mother is horrible is to her ,just horrible. its so bad that when they got pregnant, they didnt tell his mother until after the baby was born! she didnt want undue stress during her pregnancy. sounds crazy, but you gotta do what you gotta do!  and that does NOT mean you cant be with Mr.A, just maybe not his family, but from how you talk about them, why would you want to be anywhere near them??

Post # 10
5984 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1999

@CorgiTales:  I agree 100%!

@SoontobeMrsA:  So sorry to hear that you are dealing with ridiculous people.  Also, sorry to hear that Annabelle cried herself to sleep.  Things shouldn’t be this way.  HUGS!

Post # 12
2091 posts
Buzzing bee

@CorgiTales: Agreed. You took the words right out of my metaphorical mouth.

If his family treats you so badly, he should be sticking up for you and making sure YOU are happy above all else (beside the children, naturally). I know you can’t ask him to choose between his family and you, but would he be willing to make the decision himself?

Post # 14
247 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Gingersnap: Word. If my family treated my fiance like that I would let them know, in no uncertain terms, that it was unacceptable. He needs to do the same thing.

Post # 15
2091 posts
Buzzing bee

@SoontobeMrsA: Is there any specific reason they don’t like you or are they just crazy btiches? You seem like such a lovely person I don’t know who couldn’t like you.

Post # 16
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

@SoontobeMrsA: He’s clearly not standing up to them enough though. “You talk shit about her one more time and I leave and you don’t see me and you don’t see my son again, not for ten minutes, until you learn to show the woman I love respect. Case closed.” That’s it. That’s the bottom line. Respect is not a negotiation. When you get married (or plan to) you choose your spouse. #1 above all else. They are your family now.

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