- 5 years ago
I may just be paranoid/self conscious, I don’t know.
I have 5 BMs picked out in my mind, all of whom I have been friends with since elementary school. I’ve always considered them all close friends. 3 of them I still have no doubt about.
However, the other 2, “K” and “A” make me wonder. I’ve been friends with K since 3rd grade and A since high school. I see them most weekends, and truthfully have considered the two of them to be two of my best friends for years.
K and A are very close though, and sometimes (or many times) I feel like a 3rd wheel. They’ll make plans together and then invite me as an afterthought. Or, something big will happen, and I’ll find out last (A had a pregnancy scare recently, asked K to go with her to buy a test, etc. I didn’t hear anything about it until about a week later).
I feel like I’m not included in their lives as much as I try to include them in mine. They, I’m sure, communicate multiple times per day, see each other often, etc, and know the ins and outs of each others lives, boyfriends, jobs. I will be out with them and they’ll often be talking about something I have no idea about, or wasn’t told, so they’ll fill me in then.
It’s starting to hurt a lot. I’m beginning to think maybe we’re not as close as we used to be, or that they don’t like me anymore and are trying to drift away. When I told them a few months ago that I’d like them to be my BMs (havent officially asked, was throwing it out there) they seemed excited. But how do I know if that’s how they really feel?
Basically I don’t know if I should ask now. I’m afraid they secretly don’t like me, or don’t think of me as a best friend anymore, and don’t want to be BMs, but will do it out of obligation or to keep from hurting my feelings. I want to ask them how they really feel. In fact, I want to ask why I’m so often excluded from things or why I’m always the last to know about their lives, but I can’t think of a way to ask without seeming clingy, creepy, desperate, etc.
🙁 I don’t know how to talk to them. I’m not even talking about being BMs right now, but I’d like to talk to them about how I feel and our friendship, but that sounds like an awfullly awkward conversation to push on them.
*Also sorry about the paragraphs, for some reason it’s not spacing out properly when I hit ‘edit post.’